If I hear "why don't you adopt" one more time, I'm going to cry !!!

[d4111]

Hi peeps !

I am not a regular poster on here (am more of a silent reader) however I posted a thread a few weeks ago where I explained a little of my background regarding ttc... its now been 16 months - I have had some FSH blood tests and waiting on results. Recently the more people that have found out that I am ttc and that its already been 16 months (which, in the grand scheme of things isn't that long) but when youre in your 30s, it feels like a lifetime !! either ways the more ppl I have spoken to (all happen to either be mothers already or fertile men with kids) have said "why don't you just adopt??" as if it's just that easy. Of course in the future if all else fails I would look into that route but dont ppl seem to realise that there is nothing more magical and wonderful than conceiving your own child, made by YOU and only YOU !!! I know this is probably said to the death on forums but I cant bear to hear this anymore, doubled with lots of news about five people I know all having either fallen pregnant in the past two months (three of which have opted for abortions !! one acquaintance actually said to me (after aborting twins and actually having a son that she palms off on her ex partner who luckily is the most wonderful dad in the world) that when her current partner decides to commit to her she can have kids at any time !! (arrogant to say the least), and another acquaintance who refuses to use birth control and relies on the withdrawal method and keeps using abortion as some type of contraception... needless to say I have now distanced myself from both of these women...

Some people just dont realise how lucky they are !! someone else posted a thread about what women ttc dont want to hear and she hit the nail on the head when she said, we dont want to hear "just relax and it will happen".... damn... i have been relaxing for years and still nothing... !!!

anyway rant over !! just needed to sound for a bit as I can't sleep !!

take care people

D xxx

 

[Annah]

I know exactly how you feel! Dh and i have been ttc for 4 years and people say the same things to us all the time. We have also discussed adoption and might pursue it in the future but we just aren't ready to give up yet. I honestly don't think people realise how hurtful it is to us when they say these things. Especially coming from those who have already conceived and have families. Hang in there.

 

[Soontobe]

That is sooo annoying i can see where your coming from,

wishing you luck soon hun

 

[d4111]

Thanks guys for your feedback

I think I am going to invest all my time into a new hobby instead of obsessing about ttc !!!

I have now told most of the people that I know who are aware of our ttc position to not mention it anymore in the vain hope that it won't keep getting brought up !

D xxx

 

[Wobbles]

How insensitive ...... Why don't they fucking adopt theres children out there that need good loving parents & aren't just there to be loved because someone found them selves infertile/problems concieving! Ok not that I am saying someone who has come to the end of their journey should not adopt because I would have but certainly not without a fight first (which I did) & the idea of adoption or fostering hasn't left my mind even now my miracle stuck! It just the whole ignorance some people seem to have when someone has confided in them with something that means so much!

An @ that woman! Your right some people don't know what they have. Theres lots of circumstances that I don't agree with where abortion is concerned but when its taking the piss like that it really makes me mad!

 

[codiontour]

How insensitive ...... Why don't they fucking adopt theres children out there that need good loving parents & aren't just there to be loved because someone found them selves infertile/problems concieving! Ok not that I am saying someone who has come to the end of their journey should not adopt because I would have but certainly not without a fight first (which I did) & the idea of adoption or fostering hasn't left my mind even now my miracle stuck! It just the whole ignorance some people seem to have when someone has confided in them with something that means so much!

An @ that woman! Your right some people don't know what they have. Theres lots of circumstances that I don't agree with where abortion is concerned but when its taking the piss like that it really makes me mad!

Spot on Wobbles! I love it when you go off : ))))

 

[Arcanegirl]

Some people really are just ignorant. Ive heard it all aswell from various people as well as the age thing (from the other end of the scale)

 

[d4111]

Wobbles..... how angry you got was how I have been for the entirety of last week.... the insensitivity I am slowly getting used to... and I am becoming more and more resilient to it... and certainly during my time of ttc I have realised who my real friends are and just how self involved and ignorant people can be... thats what p*sses me off more than anything... when you confide in certain people about your problems of course its great to hear their feedback but when its the same thing over and over again i.e. "just adopt" or "just foster" or "have IVF" (yes... because I p*ss money and I dont even know yet if that is an option given that I am on a long long waiting list to see a gyne)... its mental...

Its so so great to have an excellent forum to be able to vent without anyone having a go...

thank you to everyone who has replied to this thread !! I am already becoming addicted to it !!

D xxx