If the babys child doesn't have anything to do with the father...

[LOZANDEVIE]

When they are older if they ask where the father is, What will you tell them?x


I'll tell Lillie the truth,why her dad isn't around...What about the rest of you ladies xxx

 

[scottishgal89]

I'd tell my lo the truth as well

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I'm not sure I'll tell him the whole truth. I just think 'daddy never cared about you or mummy' might be a bit hard to hear at any age.

 

[scottishgal89]

I'm not sure I'll tell him the whole truth. I just think 'daddy never cared about you or mummy' might be a bit hard to hear at any age.

you could just word it less blunt
i wont tell my lo the whole truth until shes old enough to deal with it because its not a nice situation

 

[Kate&Lucas]

It's just whatever way I put it, I can imagine that's all it'd sound like. For my situation anyway, it's obv different for everyone.

It's a horrid position to be put in I'm dreading it either way!

 

[LOZANDEVIE]

Same here but I will tell her the truth when she is old enough to understand fully x

 

[LilBean2010]

My son who is almost 7 has asked me why his Dad isn't around and this is what I told him:

"Your Dad wasn't at a place in his life where he could be responsible and dedicated to a baby. It has nothing to do with you, because you are amazing it is just that we both loved you enough to know what he couldn't be a Dad like a Dad should be. He knew it was better that he not be a Dad than be a Dad who couldn't be good to you or couldn't be dedicated." He took it very well and seemed to understand as much as he is capable.

Now - in all honesty - the truth of it is his Father is a basturd who wanted him aborted or given up for adoption and turned abusive to me when I got pregnant but those are details that he never needs to know...in my opinion. When he is 18, if he wants his Father's name and information I will provide it to him but until that time, he will just know he wasn't at a place in life to be a good Father.

From what I have been told, you never tell a child their Father is a bad person as they are a part of their Father and will somehow feel it makes them bad or you don't like them because of their Father. Even though his Father is not involved, I will not speak in a negative manner about him to my son as I don't want to damage his self image.

That's how I am handling it.

 

[teal]

My son who is almost 7 has asked me why his Dad isn't around and this is what I told him:

"Your Dad wasn't at a place in his life where he could be responsible and dedicated to a baby. It has nothing to do with you, because you are amazing it is just that we both loved you enough to know what he couldn't be a Dad like a Dad should be. He knew it was better that he not be a Dad than be a Dad who couldn't be good to you or couldn't be dedicated." He took it very well and seemed to understand as much as he is capable.

Now - in all honesty - the truth of it is his Father is a basturd who wanted him aborted or given up for adoption and turned abusive to me when I got pregnant but those are details that he never needs to know...in my opinion. When he is 18, if he wants his Father's name and information I will provide it to him but until that time, he will just know he wasn't at a place in life to be a good Father.

From what I have been told, you never tell a child their Father is a bad person as they are a part of their Father and will somehow feel it makes them bad or you don't like them because of their Father. Even though his Father is not involved, I will not speak in a negative manner about him to my son as I don't want to damage his self image.

That's how I am handling it.

Thanks for sharing That's great advice about how you told your son xx

 

[LOZANDEVIE]

Yes thankyou, brill advice hun. X

 

[billy2mm]

im just going to say the truth in an age appropriate way.

i have a few years yet (hopefully) till this happens. my eldest was 2 and a half when i left fob and the baby was 6 weeks and once or twice the name daddy has come up. when he asked me where a certain toy came from i asked him if he remembered who gave it to hm he said no was it santa i said no it was daddy. who's daddy? your daddy. is he a special person? i quickly changed that subject!! he is meant to be a special person but he isnt.

i have a feeling my ex will go for contact soon but over my dead body he will get to see my kids!!! im gonna be as honest as i can and say that we didnt get on so mummy made the decision to move back up north to be with grandma and granda and your cousins so we could be happy coz you both deserved to be happy.

 

[anna matronic]

I am going to tell the truth too. I will never make fob out to be a bad person cos in all honesty he isn't, he has just been an immature, selfish wanker over this. But I will also say something along the lines of "Daddy wasn't in the right place to be the daddy to you that you deserved"

I asked a work colleague this whose dad also fucked off when he was a kid and this was the lines he said to me