If you see people doing things wrong (safety wise) do you tell them?

[hanni]

We always used extended rear facing car seats which are quite unusual, so we got a lot of comments about them which would be when I would tell people how much safer they are. A lot of people looked at me like a nutter and we had all the comments about how it must be really boring for them not to be able to see where they were going etc. I think now the law is changing more people are aware of rear facing. If it's a Facebook friend I'd maybe put something on Facebook. I was very paranoid about everything safety wise with my oldest but now I'm on number three I am more relaxed although I still follow SIDS and car seat guidelines pretty closely.

I've had that as well. The "but he'll be bored rear facing" I just stated that I'd rather he be a bit bored at an age that he won't even remember when he's grown up than be at a much higher risk if an accident were to happen.
People's logic boggles me!

 

[Cattia]

We always used extended rear facing car seats which are quite unusual, so we got a lot of comments about them which would be when I would tell people how much safer they are. A lot of people looked at me like a nutter and we had all the comments about how it must be really boring for them not to be able to see where they were going etc. I think now the law is changing more people are aware of rear facing. If it's a Facebook friend I'd maybe put something on Facebook. I was very paranoid about everything safety wise with my oldest but now I'm on number three I am more relaxed although I still follow SIDS and car seat guidelines pretty closely.

I've had that as well. The "but he'll be bored rear facing" I just stated that I'd rather he be a bit bored at an age that he won't even remember when he's grown up than be at a much higher risk if an accident were to happen.
People's logic boggles me!

Exactly, bored v dead is something of a no brainer. Anyhow they can see perfectly well out the back and side windows! Obviously people can put their kids in whatever car seat they think is best, but it baffles me how much judgement there is about extended rear facing.

 

[JumpingIn]

No. Since having our boy with very bad reflux my view has changed significantly. He could choke if we followed 'safe sleep' advice.I wanted to so much, but it wasn't to be and his Snuzpod is now a very expensive laundry basket.

His bed would horrify some people. It has slopes, wedges, even cushions... and he's at the 'wrong' end. But if course we know the advice we were given a hundred times by health visitors and midwives. What we weren't expecting was our son's specific needs.

I would give other parents the trust and respect I want to receive unless they were generally neglectful or especially ignorant people.

I can't believe the blended up Sunday dinner thing though! Why!?!

 

[redneckhippy]

With carseats I think a lot of people don't know. I read a blog post by a lady who had turned her 11 month old ff and he was killed in a car accident. She said how she had posted numerous pictures to Facebook and she wishes someone had corrected her because she didn't know.

 

[calm]

With carseats I think a lot of people don't know. I read a blog post by a lady who had turned her 11 month old ff and he was killed in a car accident. She said how she had posted numerous pictures to Facebook and she wishes someone had corrected her because she didn't know.

I think my two already have the weight to not use rear seats, I need to see some proper guidelines, I am just going with the instructions of the car seat. We haven't turned them round though yet

 

[redneckhippy]

Until roughly age two, a child's bones and muscles surrounding the vertabrea are not developed enough and the child can be internally decapitated if FF in a crash. It does not matter how tall or heavy the child is, if anything it's more important to keep a heavier child RF as the added weight puts more strain on their immature spinal cord. It's a matter of physics not parenting choices. If I was unknowingly doing something that put my son's life at risk, I hope someone would tell me and not let me find ou t the hard way because they didn't want to offend me

 

[redneckhippy]

For example, an acquaintance told me not to let my son play with my keys as they contain lead. I had no idea and I was thankful she told me rather than let me go on exposing my infant to lead.

 

[whigfield]

I always feel twitchy when I see bumpers in cots but not really blankets. My son has always used blankets after not liking sleep sacks and he has for months been pulling a bit up to his face for comfort. I use a breathing monitor and religiously check, but I think it'd really tick me off if someone tried to "correct" me for this.

Babies that REALLY shouldn't be forward facing I'd find it difficult not to say anything though. Although my parents are already starting to comment that he looks "cramped" rear facing.

 

[hanni]

With carseats I think a lot of people don't know. I read a blog post by a lady who had turned her 11 month old ff and he was killed in a car accident. She said how she had posted numerous pictures to Facebook and she wishes someone had corrected her because she didn't know.

That is so sad! I'm definitely going to tell her.

 

[hanni]

I feel sick now. I've seen so many people on my instagram posting photos of their babies (under 1 mostly) in their new "big boy/girl car seats" and they're mostly always forward facing.
I've just uploaded a crash test video and a little bit about ERF and why it's safer hopefully just to get people to think twice about it. I feel like a right busy body but oh well.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I wouldn't give a flying crapola if someone got upset with me..If somebody tells you something that will help or save your child from harm, why would you get upset? I wouldn't that is for shit sure.. JMO...

 

[MindUtopia]

I wouldn't no, unless someone specifically asked my opinion, but I wouldn't volunteer the information. There's a lot of information out there about baby and child safety and people need to be thoughtful consumers of that information. I don't feel it's my place or my responsibility to educate them if they can't be bothered to do it themselves. That and I've been told so many times that I was going to "kill" (the actual word used) my daughter by nosy but well-meaning family members because of our parenting choices, because we choose to co-sleep, because we fed her finger foods from 6 months, etc. One person's forward facing carseat is another person's toast finger. I think it's rude and intrusive even when it's meant well. Now if someone is abusing or neglecting their child (exposing them to drug use or driving drunk with them in the car or beating them, etc.), I'd report them to social services, because that's entirely different. But short of that, I think it's good to just leave people be and let them make their own choices, even if I think they're bad ones so long as they aren't abusive.

 

[hanni]

I wouldn't no, unless someone specifically asked my opinion, but I wouldn't volunteer the information. There's a lot of information out there about baby and child safety and people need to be thoughtful consumers of that information. I don't feel it's my place or my responsibility to educate them if they can't be bothered to do it themselves. That and I've been told so many times that I was going to "kill" (the actual word used) my daughter by nosy but well-meaning family members because of our parenting choices, because we choose to co-sleep, because we fed her finger foods from 6 months, etc. One person's forward facing carseat is another person's toast finger. I think it's rude and intrusive even when it's meant well. Now if someone is abusing or neglecting their child (exposing them to drug use or driving drunk with them in the car or beating them, etc.), I'd report them to social services, because that's entirely different. But short of that, I think it's good to just leave people be and let them make their own choices, even if I think they're bad ones so long as they aren't abusive.

Very true about co sleeping but that's mostly just ignorance from people who don't know anything about it. If I saw someone uploading photos of themselves co sleeping in a bed with excess pillows, duvet over a tiny baby with a bottle of Stella on the side table my mind would be screaming about how unsafe that is. I'd like to think most co sleepers (and I'm one too) do so safely. I wouldn't look twice at a photo of anyone co sleeping safely, you would know that how you're sleeping is safe and you've taken then measures to ensure that (I assume). I'm just wondering if the person/people I'm on about actual know that what they're doing is unsafe.

 

[Kristalebear1]

I would mention the carseat thing, but nicely, and only if i really knew the person. If not id post a few pictures at once with warnings on various things and Tag all my mommy friends in it, and post something along the lines of safety.

As for the cot. No I wouldn't. My daughter sleeps in the middle of her cot. I dont see what the difference is, as she scoots her but all the way up to the top anyway. Plus if I put her feet to foot she kicks her feet through openings and the screams when they get twisted up. I also co slept the first 2 1/2 months until she was ready to sleep in a crib on her own (she made the transition herself one day she couldnt sleep without me, the next she wanted to sleep in her crib haha)

Since I co slept, and now my 3 month old sleeps in the middle of the crib, and yes she has a soft small blanket that is tucked under her which she kicks off any way and it gets loosely laid back on (under her arms)... I wouldn't say anything. My daughter also has one of those mini blanket stuffys which she refuses to sleep without. She holds it in her arms all night and if she wakes up and its not where she can grab at it she screams bloody murder until its placed back in her arms.

Then again I know my baby pretty well, I know the exact times she wakes like clock work, know every cry, and I know how she sleeps, and when the schedule changes I master ot all over again. I know the risks, my pediatrician knows how she sleeps, and there isn't any worry. My daughter already rolls onto her side to sleep, has the motor skills to move something away from her face, and is stubborn as I was as a baby.

If someone gave me advice on cot sleeping id likely bite my tongue and nicely say its not needed, but in my head I be going off.

 

[mel28nicole]

I'm very passionate about car seat safety in the US but I've simply given up trying to correct people. FF so young, bulky coats, loose straps, barely using chest clip. It takes one accident for something bad to happen and people don't listen until it happens them. Couple months back a five year old lost his life from not being buckled in, when he should have been in a car seat. FIVE. Its sad. I try my best to post stuff on Facebook but its gotten to the point where there's enough info out there and people just don't listen because they refuse to believe it could happen to them.

And honestly that's with ANYTHING. Food habits, sleeping habits, TV habits. You can't tell a parent anything once they have their mind set

 

[hanni]

I'm very passionate about car seat safety in the US but I've simply given up trying to correct people. FF so young, bulky coats, loose straps, barely using chest clip. It takes one accident for something bad to happen and people don't listen until it happens them. Couple months back a five year old lost his life from not being buckled in, when he should have been in a car seat. FIVE. Its sad. I try my best to post stuff on Facebook but its gotten to the point where there's enough info out there and people just don't listen because they refuse to believe it could happen to them.

And honestly that's with ANYTHING. Food habits, sleeping habits, TV habits. You can't tell a parent anything once they have their mind set

I've totally understood all of this this week. Seeing babies barely 6 months old forward facing and people just think we'll it isn't the law yet. The fact that it is soon to be law that babies are to rear face until they're 15 months old means nothing to them. Like maybe there's a reason for that and it's not just the government being awkward.

I don't think I've seen another baby rear facing on my social media. I think people think "it won't happen to us". Bit silly really but oh well. I give up, like you say there's enough safety advice out there and if people don't want to do their own research before purchasing probably the most important item for their baby that's their decision.

 

[Larkspur]

I don't think I've seen another baby rear facing on my social media. I think people think "it won't happen to us". Bit silly really but oh well. I give up, like you say there's enough safety advice out there and if people don't want to do their own research before purchasing probably the most important item for their baby that's their decision.

Or maybe there were any number of reasons they made the choice not to use ERF, including the seats they had access to and could afford, their child having reflux or being really uncomfortable in a RF seat, the size of their car and the other seats they needed to fit in, and they weighed other factors up against the very very small absolute risk that it actually would be them in a severe car accident. Or they received different advice from the person who sold it to them. Or maybe they just didn't know and now they've spent their money. When you know something, it seems like most other people would know, but that's often not the case.

You've made the assumption, "Oh, these parents know and just don't care" when in all likelihood they either didn't know at the time and your advice won't now be useful, or they made a decision based on factors you haven't considered.

 

[hanni]

I don't think I've seen another baby rear facing on my social media. I think people think "it won't happen to us". Bit silly really but oh well. I give up, like you say there's enough safety advice out there and if people don't want to do their own research before purchasing probably the most important item for their baby that's their decision.

Or maybe there were any number of reasons they made the choice not to use ERF, including the seats they had access to and could afford, their child having reflux or being really uncomfortable in a RF seat, the size of their car and the other seats they needed to fit in, and they weighed other factors up against the very very small absolute risk that it actually would be them in a severe car accident. Or they received different advice from the person who sold it to them. Or maybe they just didn't know and now they've spent their money. When you know something, it seems like most other people would know, but that's often not the case.

You've made the assumption, "Oh, these parents know and just don't care" when in all likelihood they either didn't know at the time and your advice won't now be useful, or they made a decision based on factors you haven't considered.

Very true, and I'm sure there are many of them that do have their legit reasons. But the majority of them probably just don't think twice.

 

[amytrisha]

Haven't read the comments.

Depending on the situation yeah, a friend of mine put her 1.5YO in a high backed booster and I couldn't not say something. She was really thankful I told her.

 

[mel28nicole]

I don't think I've seen another baby rear facing on my social media. I think people think "it won't happen to us". Bit silly really but oh well. I give up, like you say there's enough safety advice out there and if people don't want to do their own research before purchasing probably the most important item for their baby that's their decision.

Or maybe there were any number of reasons they made the choice not to use ERF, including the seats they had access to and could afford, their child having reflux or being really uncomfortable in a RF seat, the size of their car and the other seats they needed to fit in, and they weighed other factors up against the very very small absolute risk that it actually would be them in a severe car accident. Or they received different advice from the person who sold it to them. Or maybe they just didn't know and now they've spent their money. When you know something, it seems like most other people would know, but that's often not the case.

You've made the assumption, "Oh, these parents know and just don't care" when in all likelihood they either didn't know at the time and your advice won't now be useful, or they made a decision based on factors you haven't considered.

Another reason why I given up on it. Honestly the facts are out there, rear facing til 2 is best (and slowly becoming law in some states in the US). The US has a lot more options to accommodate ERF so really this can't apply to UK. BUT people still misuse the car seats, as in having straps way too loose and chest clip in wrong position (I know UK seats don't have them). That, is what I find lazy or not caring.

Also you have to remember accidents are more likely to happen in the US compared to UK, which is why RF to 2 is so important