If you see people doing things wrong (safety wise) do you tell them?

[Spudtastic]

In the case of the car seat I would definitely want to know. I had dd in a rear facing seat until she was 25 months old but when she was younger I did not know about the strap position or the tightness. A friend pointed it out when she was a couple of weeks old. I was extremely embarrassed but very very very grateful for the information. It was not something I was shown and I thought that what I was doing was right.

In the case of the bumper I might perhaps start a conversation with the person about 'sleeping bags' saying how good they are in reducing the risk of SIDS or making sure blankets are tucked in. Perhaps I'd talk about my own fears and bring it up as 'my issue'. It could make them think twice about what they have. it was one of my biggest fears and I may have talked about it with friends without even thinking.

 

[Scout]

I think it would depend who it was and what it was. I do post a lot of car seat information on FB so all my friends know that RF is so much safer than FF, and then they can decide for themselves. But at least I've put the info out there. Actually, I don't think car seat safety is talked about as much as it should be, especially during well checks where it's seldom mentioned (at least at my pediatrician's office).

 

[bumpy_j]

With ERF, the info is far more out there now. Even 'Which?' has ERF seats taking the top spots on their Best Buy lists, and you can get ERF seats from plenty of chain stores in the UK now with Cybex and Maxi Cosi taking it on.

Google 'safest car seats' and you'll find the info pretty easily. Back when I had Joel, BnB was the only place that I really saw ERF being discussed, and it was hard to find info outside of blogs and specialist stores. Not saying that it's widely known about as such, but it's getting there. So it's a lot harder to determine whether somebody has made an informed choice about what car seat to choose in order to suit their needs, or whether they had no idea that there was another option.

I've posted photos of Joel in his ERF seat before to invite curiosity to those who may not have seen one before, but that's as far as I'd take it now. An ERF was a no brainer for us as it takes OH and I two hours to travel back to our hometown from where we currently live. The car seat we have for LO 2 is a Group 0+1 which switches to forward facing at 15 months. When the time comes, we'll decide whether we really need an ERF considering the traveling by car that we actually do by that point.

 

[BabyCleo]

I didn't read through this all but I just wanted to give in my opinion...

I LOVED your instagram post about the slow motion rear facing seat. I think I commented on it about the cabbie who told me my "rear facing was wrong" and I had to correct him.

I get angry about bumper pads in cribs. Honestly, ive told people (politely) about them and the increased risks. Government of Canada has stated on their website that they are NOT recommended. We use the little sleep sacks, (like a sleeping bag I guess? lol) and they are great. I usually say something like:

"I noticed you had bumper pads on your crib! Im not sure if you realized, but they aren't really recommended anymore due to an increased risk of SIDS. The baby can suffocate on them. Which is a shame, cause they are super cute right? Maybe there is another way to make the crib look super cute? But please don't think im preaching to you, I just wanted to let you know."

Usually I don't get a lot of mean comments back. They may call me a B*tch behind my back but I feel that some people simply don't educate themselves. One woman thanked me a zillion times as she had no idea they weren't safe. She was going off "her mother had them" and hadn't looked into it.

I would absolutely mention the car seat thing especially if the baby was young. People can get defensive but usually are quite thankful for the advice. Ive had a friend tell me things before that ive done somewhat wrong and ive been grateful, not spiteful.

I think mothers are there to help each other out. Its not easy raising a baby. There is a difference between an opinion and a fact. I would never throw my opinions on someone unless they asked - but I will let people know of the facts.

 

[calm]

You can get breathable bumpers, I have them and they are great (more expensive and less padded though)

 

[misspriss]

I don't think I've seen another baby rear facing on my social media. I think people think "it won't happen to us". Bit silly really but oh well. I give up, like you say there's enough safety advice out there and if people don't want to do their own research before purchasing probably the most important item for their baby that's their decision.

Or maybe there were any number of reasons they made the choice not to use ERF, including the seats they had access to and could afford, their child having reflux or being really uncomfortable in a RF seat, the size of their car and the other seats they needed to fit in, and they weighed other factors up against the very very small absolute risk that it actually would be them in a severe car accident. Or they received different advice from the person who sold it to them. Or maybe they just didn't know and now they've spent their money. When you know something, it seems like most other people would know, but that's often not the case.

You've made the assumption, "Oh, these parents know and just don't care" when in all likelihood they either didn't know at the time and your advice won't now be useful, or they made a decision based on factors you haven't considered.

Another reason why I given up on it. Honestly the facts are out there, rear facing til 2 is best (and slowly becoming law in some states in the US). The US has a lot more options to accommodate ERF so really this can't apply to UK. BUT people still misuse the car seats, as in having straps way too loose and chest clip in wrong position (I know UK seats don't have them). That, is what I find lazy or not caring.

Also you have to remember accidents are more likely to happen in the US compared to UK, which is why RF to 2 is so important

Or grossly misuse seats, like ONLY clicking the chest clip or not even strapping in an infant bucket seat at all. I have heard from TWO seperate people that they have seen people take the infant seat, and place it in the car, and that is it. As if it's supposed to keep the kid safe bouncing around like a pinball in an accident. The first one was after the fact, a friend at work mentioned it (no kids of their own). The second DH noticed driving down the interstate in the vehicle next to him!

I am passionate about car seats too. I have messaged people on FB about the chest clip position in their baby photos, I never heard back....I also post ERF videos. I just feel that so many people just must not be informed at all, which is why I would say something.

But otherwise, I don't generally say things. I cosleep, I don't vax, I do things that are not "mainstream" and so I have a feeling some people would want to preach at me for my "unsafe" choices and I would not appreciate it. I went to lunch with a distant cousin the other day with a baby a few months older than DD. They put him in front of the TV for hours, have already started giving him foods other than formula (tea [sweet/iced] and water at 4 months), were about to start putting rice cereal in his night time bottle (I did suggest they bring that and the weaning up with their ped first) and a couple other things I can't think of right now. I have now learned the best course of action is just to say "be sure to discuss that with your ped since they are younger than the recommended age" or something like that.

 

[rwhite]

I do generally try and leave an informative and friendly comment if I see something by one of my friends on FB (or say something if they mention something). For e.g. my friend had a picture of her 18mo old the other day in the car with one arm not in the harness, and I just said something like "I notice that her arm isn't in the harness - do you find she escapes it? Here's a product I used for my son around the same age" etc. I try and do the same with early weaning etc.

They can take it or leave it at the end of the day, but like has been mentioned by others, if it was me, I would want to know if something was possibly dangerous for my child

 

[hanni]

The person originally in questions is now weaning her 9/10 week old... I can't even 😐

I'm not usually one to judge with weaning, each to their own, people know when their babies are ready but... 10 weeks!! He's still lying on his back like a teeny tiny baby.
I think I'll just Unfollow 😮

 

[redneckhippy]

How do you even wean a baby that young?? What would they eat?

 

[Kirsty3051]

My MIL began weaning DH at 2 weeks! She can't get her head around why we waited until 6 months

 

[hanni]

It looked like porridge!

But, I am so happy today. A couple of days ago I shared a photo about cot safety from a page I follow made by a lady who's son sadly passed away when his cot bumper got wrapped around his neck, now the original person in question has just uploaded a photo of her baby in his cot and the bumpers have gone and he's in a nice little sleeping bag! So lovely to see.

 

[rwhite]

That is great news! Isn't it such a heartening feeling to know your attempt to help out hasn't been completely in vain? x

 

[hanni]

That is great news! Isn't it such a heartening feeling to know your attempt to help out hasn't been completely in vain? x

It really is! And nice to know he's sleeping as safely as possible x

 

[Spudtastic]

That is great news Hanni

 

[bumpy_j]

Uhh resurrecting this old thread because I'm having this now. Somebody on my Facebook has uploaded a photo of their 4/5 month old sleeping in their nursery cot for the first time with a crib pillow, bib and thin duvet. I'm quite close to the dad (OHs work colleague and friend) and he's the loveliest guy, so I know if I dropped him a message he'd probably be pretty cool with it. But I don't know the mum at all and she was the one who put LO to bed/uploaded the photo...

Baby can probably roll and possibly sit up at this age, but I'm still a bit like 'uh guys....', especially since baby is in his own room. WWYD?

 

[hanni]

Uhh resurrecting this old thread because I'm having this now. Somebody on my Facebook has uploaded a photo of their 4/5 month old sleeping in their nursery cot for the first time with a crib pillow, bib and thin duvet. I'm quite close to the dad (OHs work colleague and friend) and he's the loveliest guy, so I know if I dropped him a message he'd probably be pretty cool with it. But I don't know the mum at all and she was the one who put LO to bed/uploaded the photo...

Baby can probably roll and possibly sit up at this age, but I'm still a bit like 'uh guys....', especially since baby is in his own room. W WYD?

It's hard to know what to do isn't it! You don't want to be one of "those" mothers but you don't want anything bad to happen.
I probably wouldn't mention anything about the quilt, some of them can be thin ones which are allowed from birth and the bib could have been removed after the photo. The pillow would be my biggest worry but then surely it would have an age guide on the packing and they'd know about it being a risk?

 

[Tasha]

The pillow would be my biggest concern too. I'd have to say something.

As for car seats, you'd be surprised how many care more when it's said that insurance won't pay out if your child is ff before the legal age than when it's said that it's dangerous and their child could die

 

[chickenlegs]

I have never understood these posts. If someone suggests that co-sleeping is dangerous, as far as SIDS risks go, then the vast majority of B&B fights back and claims that the benefits were far greater than the risks. The research is flawed. The claims are inaccurate. And yet forward facing car seats or early weaning? Suddenly the "research" is absolutely accurate and anyone not following it is putting their child at risk. It feels that only those who fight against the "norm" are justified. Follow the norm and you are uneducated.

 

[d_b]

You can get breathable bumpers, I have them and they are great (more expensive and less padded though)

We had these up during a visit from the home nurse, and she said even the mesh bumpers are not recommended because they restrict air flow. That was 4 years ago so it might have changed tho! We did put them back up when DS1 was older and kept getting his arm stuck between the rails, but we only put them on half of one side.