Im desperate for help (WARNING : its long!!)

[sexxy_jessi09]

So the title says it all! My son will be 15 months on the 25th and for the last month or so he has been night waking like crazy! Im talking 4+ times a night up to every hour or every other hour on a good night and i cant stand hearing him cry, it gives me headaches and the fact im fighting a cold right now doesnt make it easier. He tosses and turns all night and seems very uncomfortable, since sids risk doesnt threaten me anymore i have given him a pillow, blankets and toys in his bed ( hes in a toddler bed because he was chewing the wood off the crib) he has transitioned very well and loves his big boy bed too. I have also put a few blankets UNDER his fitted sheet to make his bed more comfy and he did well for a while with that but is back to tossing and turning. At nap time during the day he sleeps with no problems on the floor or couch and barely moves, same goes with my bed (its a tempur pedic) He will get in my bed with or without me in it and sleep perfectly fine for hours, he always wants a sippy when he wakes and cries, which is fine, ill happily give it but im just at my wits end with getting no sleep! Im dying to have another baby soon (ive had 2 mcs since he was born) but the way he is at night just makes me never want another baby ever again its so bad, i feel guilty because i find myself hating him for doing this to me even though i know its not his fault, something is wrong because hes usually such a good sleeper. Also he does not listen at all, he doesnt hit or bite or act aggressively but the tantrums sometimes and i can tell him a million times not to touch/do something and he just acts like im not there ugh! He does any sign language i ask him to do and he even sits and lays down when i tell him, he will get into his bed if i ask him to but why wont he listen when i say dont touch the computer? ahh i need advice but this was also a nice vent I love my son more than words could ever explain but gosh toddlers are so frustrating sometimes lol heres some pics of the little guy ( he looks cute and innocent right?)

 

[RachA]

I can't help with what to do as we just got up and settled them both back down. But what i will say is that it will end.


My son woke up about 3 or 4 times every night and it would drive me crazy - i was feeding my daughter every four hours so between the two i wasn't getting much sleep. Then all of a sudden without us doing anything he stopped waking up and has been fine since. However that was only 9 months ago when he was 3 & 5months.

Re the tantrums etc - he's hit that age when he won't listen to you. Find a method of discipline you are happy with and try it - it will take time and effort but is worth it

 

[sexxy_jessi09]

See my son did that some at 3-5 months too but usually slept through the night until he hit 1 year old then he quit sleeping good. I think in january when we move house i will be getting him a twin or full bed with a mattress like mine to see if its a comfort issue, if not then i guess he will still have a comfy bed lol. I just really want another baby now and with him acting like this at night i dont think i cant handle it, well, i probably could but i dont want to if i dont have to.

 

[RachA]

Sorry i was meaning 3 years and 5 months.

Can you not change the mattress on his bed and see if that helps. Probably a better option than getting a much bigger bed.

 

[sexxy_jessi09]

I really wanted to do that but all the toddler bed mattresses ive found are really firm and not comfortable at all for him i might get a memory foam topper to put on top to see if it would help first but ill do anything to get mysleep back so if it means a bigger bed for the mattress ill go for it, probably just a twin size though. ** Ahh sorry i should have gotten that lol 3 yrs 5 months, im tired, forgive me I am deff NOT willing to wait until hes that age to grow out of this though lol The way my house is set up there is one bedroom upstairs and one bedroom downstairs so i have no choice but to have him room with me and his dad, in his own bed but in our room until we get another house with more than one bedroom on each floor so he wont be so far away. Its not something i want to do but i dont trust this neighborhood much and dont want him sleeping a whole floor from me till hes older, i keep thinking maybe he would get out of be and fall down the stairs or something, scares me so i cant switch rooms yet

 

[Isla]

Do you think it could be his teeth? Even if he's not acting like he's in pain, his mouth could still be uncomfortable and not allowing him to sleep.

Do you pick him up every time he wakes up? If you do, don't. You can go soothe him, rub his back, etc but don't pick him up. He could be getting into a habit of waking and then he'll expect you to come and interact with him. Also, do you go into his room as soon as he wakes? I'm not suggesting you let him cry it out if that's not for you, but maybe he needs a few minutes and will learn to soothe himself back to sleep? I do this with my son. Unless it is an urgent "I need you right now" cry, I give him a few minutes and most of the time he will fall back asleep on his own. If he doesn't, then I will go in but not pick him up and interact with him minimally. My son is an excellent sleeper and I feel like this method has been a part of his good sleep habits.

Just a few thoughts for you.

 

[sexxy_jessi09]

Um it very well could be his teeth, he only has 6 right now, 4 top 2 bottom. i always check to see if new ones are coming in but i never feel nor see anything.
NO deff not picking him up, ive stopped myself from doing that since we have no other choice but to share a room at the moment his bed is close to mine and when he wakes he will roll and cry for about 5 minutes until he wakes himself up enough to get out of bed and whine at the side of my bed, ill give him a few snuggles and tell him i love him and its bedtime then tell him to get back into his bed, half the time he listens and goes back to bed but still whines and it only gets worse. The other half when i tell him to get back into bed he throws himself on the floor screaming like ive beat him or something. His father gets up every morning at 6am to go to work and is developing a huge attitude with me and our son because hes not getting sleep but also i am not getting sleep, granted i do not go out and work all day like him as im a full time sahm, BUT i do run after a toddler all day and its physically and mentally draining most days, his work consists of sitting at a desk all day typing and such, boring yes but not physically strenuous so thats where we butt heads, i need to find a solution to my sons sleep habits, im willing to try almost anything! I am all for CIO but i get severe migranes very easily and when he cries for more than 5 minutes im ready to kill someone because of the pain so CIO is only gonna work if im far away and not the one to go in every so often to soothe him, he prefers me over dh too so i feel so lost.

 

[RachA]

Hmmm - my suggestion would be to put him in another room as he's getting used to you being there with him. But obviously you've said you're not happy doing that because of where you live. If you did do that you could put a stair gate across his bedroom door or at the top of the stairs. We did that with our eldest to stop him wandering around in the night.

If you can't do that is it possible to section off part of your room so that its almost like he's in his own room?

 

[Peardrop]

Is it worth trying a dose of baby painkillers before he goes to bed and/or some topical gels etc to rule out teeth. He could have several coming up and they could be grumbling him/his ears at night. I think they can cause discomfort ages before we can see or feel them.

Can your OH sleep in another room until this passes so at least one of you is not running on empty. My OH and I bicker if we are both sleep deprived but at least one if us can be adults if we're not both tired. (I am convinced men take tiredness less well - it's probably an evolutionary thing!)

 

[BabyJ'sMummy]

My guess would be teething too, it's around this age that they get their molars in and for a lot of children they can be really painful. Rhys is teething really badly at the moment and has been up through the night, he has his molars but I think it's his canines this time. It could also explain the tantrums - Rhys has been playing up a lot, just generally grumpy for the past few days and it seems to all be linked to his teething. xx

 

[sexxy_jessi09]

Thanks guys so much, i will deff check into remedies for teething and sectioning off the room is very possible, i would just have to get creative As ive said i just cant imagine my baby boy being a whole floor away from me right now so since i have only one bedroom upstairs and one down its not going to work for him having his own room yet, when I move in january he will have his own room. Plus it would just be a hassle putting him that far away from me and having to go up and down the stairs multiple times a night when he does this night waking, id be worse off than i am now.

*** Last night was some what of a success!! He cried and whined for me to hold him for about 20 minutes so just for a night or two until i figure out whats going on i moved his toddler bed to the side of my bed so that i can easily see him and reach over and sooth him so hes wont have to get out of bed and throw a fit. He went down a lot faster than usual, he was asleep at 10:50 then at 11:58 he woke back up doing the whine/cry thing and wanted snuggled for a minute, after that i put him back in bed and as far as i know he didnt get up any more until 10 this morning! Think of his bed being set up like a playard beside your bed like cosleeping with a newborn, as i did with him. Is this arrangement going to make him more attatched to me and make things harder or should i keep his bed there for a while?

 

[Bexx]

Hi hun, I think you should stick with whatever sleep arrangement suits you all best. You're not going to develop attachment issues because he's closer to your bed, in fact he will probably feel more secure being nearer and so more likely to sleep better.

My son was the reverse and was a terrible sleeper until 13 months. Now he stays in his cot for approx 10hrs, then I nurse him and he goes back down for another hour or two. He still likes to fuss when being put down though, it's taken a long time for me to stop rushing in to tend to him within 5 seconds. But if I give him a few minutes, he does self-settle.

BTW, my little guy is called Zachary too and he is only one day older than your LO.