Im feeling really low and dont know what to do

[mummymurray74]

Hi ladies,

Im 37, dh 43, have 4 children...18,13,11,2 and we want to have one last baby, we have been trying since last december and still nothing. Ive never had any trouble before with the longest taking 3months. Its now been 10months and i am so worried something is wrong and im never going to have another baby. I love my kids and im happy with what i have but we have this yearning for one more( it will be our second together) my others were from a previous marriage.

I have my appointment next tuesday at the fertility clinic and im sooooo scared. Things started off fine when i came off the pill, ovulating on day 14/15 and a luteal phase of 16days. This then changed after 3 months to ovulating on day 20/21 and same luteal phase so i knew i was 'back to normal'. But the past month i had spotting when i was supposed to ovulate and then i didnt ovulate till day 32! then i spotted for 3 days before my period was due too, and i dont know whats happened? i did go on holiday last month and it was a 4hour flight home 1 day before i was due to ovulate, so i dont know if that had anything to do with it?.

Ive tried opk's, temping and cm watching etc to not doing anything because it was too much and relaxing and forgetting about it and nothing happened still?? I am now worried my eggs are crap and thats why im having spotting etc or something else is wrong with me maybe i have an infection?? but i have no symptoms of infection. I feel so tired with it all, the temping the feeling that im 'on alert' all the time for cm/pains etc. My hubby is so dissapointed every month and im starting to feel so low, everyone i see is pregnant, thats what it feels like!! And im so jealous, and i dont like feeling like that. My sister and i havent spoken for 5 months because she got pregnant with another after 'not trying' and she kept telling me i needed to relax!!!! We dont have the best relationship anyway as she is a bit of a snob and married a stockbroker and lives in a rich area, anyway!!! thats beside the point!

I feel like i am going to burst into tears all the time, i so want a little sister (or even another brother!!)if possible (i have boys) for our son as he has nobody to grow up with, as there is such a big age gap. I am having reflexology for the first time on thursday as ive been thinjing about it for months and now id like to see if it will help? We did a home sperm test and that came back perfect, so i know deep down its me and i just want it to be something that can be cured, im getting myself into such a state that they are going to tell me i cant have anymore because my eggs are no good or worse! Yet i know people older than me that are having more babies, and women have them older these days anyway dont they?.

I am slowly losing my mind and i would love to hear from anyone in the same boat or that had a happy ending and panicked just like i am.

Good luck to everyone trying, if its no 1 or no 10!!!! Its dosent matter, if you want a baby so much then the feeling is the same no matter how many you have.

 

[Jodes2011]

I am in the same position as you! I have 4 boys (2 from my previous marriage and 2 with this marriage) and really would love one more baby. I am however happy with the children i have but deep down i would love a girl. I have also never had problems becoming pregnant or keeping the sticky bean. I have also been ttc since December 2010 and in that time i've had 3 mc's I'm approaching 37 in November and i feel something isn't right?! I am trying acupunture had my 1st appointment last week and i've noticed a big difference in my cm (it's been mostly fertile since my AF stopped). I believe it can help with fertility and mc's so i thought i would give it a shot. For me to see a difference i think i would need another few sessions. I go once a week at the moment. Also try some Apimist it's royal jelly and it improves egg quality i've heard very good reviews from it.

 

[Tnkzmom]

to both of you ladies! I too have been trying since December and it's driving me crazy My OH never had any kids, i myself have 2 awesome kids, but want to have one w/ him, and it just hasn't been happening. I'm at 13 DPO and i feel the witch sneaking up on me. I haven't tried any other stuff, then just the good ol BD. I wanna wish you ladies good Luck as well and lots and lots of

 

[Indigo77]

Good luck to everyone trying, if its no 1 or no 10!!!! Its dosent matter, if you want a baby so much then the feeling is the same no matter how many you have.

I think the feeling is similar, but perhaps more intense for those that don't have any children.
Imagine how disappointed those husbands are!

Good luck on your journey...

 

[mummymurray74]

I am in the same position as you! I have 4 boys (2 from my previous marriage and 2 with this marriage) and really would love one more baby. I am however happy with the children i have but deep down i would love a girl. I have also never had problems becoming pregnant or keeping the sticky bean. I have also been ttc since December 2010 and in that time i've had 3 mc's I'm approaching 37 in November and i feel something isn't right?! I am trying acupunture had my 1st appointment last week and i've noticed a big difference in my cm (it's been mostly fertile since my AF stopped). I believe it can help with fertility and mc's so i thought i would give it a shot. For me to see a difference i think i would need another few sessions. I go once a week at the moment. Also try some Apimist it's royal jelly and it improves egg quality i've heard very good reviews from it.

Hi jodes! Have you been to your doctor at all? Id love to stay in touch, we have a lot in common! Ive heard that about accupuncture and cm, how much does it cost you? Im having reflexology on thursday but thats £30!!! hope i dont have to have that every week that could be expensive!!! Especially along with the ov tests etc every month, oh why cant it be simple So sorry about your losses, we lost one before our son was born at 13weeks into the pregnancy and i always think that was a girl??? We will never know and we love our 2 year old to death, its so hard though, ive been so patient and im kind of angry for waiting now as we originally planned them quite close but waited because we were moving to a bigger house etc * we only lived in a 3 bed!!! and we moved to a 6 bed in october, so that was the go ahead really to have the baby we wanted as we now had room. Now we cant get pregnant!!!! I will try the apimist if i can, it cant hurt? Have you tried it? do you notice any difference at all? x

 

[Tnkzmom]

Good luck to everyone trying, if its no 1 or no 10!!!! Its dosent matter, if you want a baby so much then the feeling is the same no matter how many you have.

I think the feeling is similar, but perhaps a bit more intense for those that don't have any children. Imagine how disappointed those husbands are!

Good luck on your journey...

I TOTALLY Agree w/ you Indigo, I feel bad for the women and men My BF wants one and we have had no luck and he is VERY good w/ MY kids, but I know he wants one of his own. I couldn't imagine not being able to have one, it hurts not being able to have one now and i couldn't imagine never having one, so my heart goes out to those women and men, I understand when Family members become surrogates, because I would do the same, well if i was able to get prego as easily as I used to when I was younger..Grrr getting older.But i'm happy i'm lucky enough to grow older.. good luck and lots of Love to everyone! It will happen..

 

[mummymurray74]

Good luck to everyone trying, if its no 1 or no 10!!!! Its dosent matter, if you want a baby so much then the feeling is the same no matter how many you have.

I think the feeling is similar, but perhaps more intense for those that don't have any children.
Imagine how disappointed those husbands are!

Good luck on your journey...

Oh of course!! Definately and my heart goes out to those people,But my mum says well you have four why on earth would you want any more, you are probably too old!!!! (my mum has never been broody, and went through her change at 37 due to Cervical cancer cell removal) Its sad remembering how my other 3 used to play in the garden together and splash around in the paddling pool together and my little boy hasnt got that, hes all alone and its like having an only child, the others go off and do their own thing and hes left on his own. We have an urge for one more child together, we would love a little girl together if possible, we arent on benefits and my husband works hard as a PE teacher and im a stay at home mum, so if we want another why do people feel the need to comment, my sister actually said to me, oh but your 37 now what if you have a downs baby!!!!! But her friend is my age and is only on baby no1 and planning more but she would never say that to her!!! And when i asked why.......because she has only got one and its natural to want another if you only have 1!!!! So insensitive!!!!

 

[readyformore]

I belong here with you.

I've been ttc #4 for 15 cycles now. Perfectly normal cycles, perfect ewcm, perfect timing, etc. I have come to the realization that sex isn't going to get me pregnant. It's obviously not working.

Our children are 8, 6, and 2 (in Nov they all have birthdays and will be 9, 7, and 3).

I did have unexplained infertility while ttc #1. Now, I'm in the same boat. I'm back to the RE and doing IUI again.

My feelings are so mixed. I feel so fortunate to have my 3 children (especially after #1 was AR). But, it just seems unfair to have to go through infertility twice. I feel like I'm being punished for having 3 kids. The feelings/emotions of infertility with #1 and #4 are so similar that it's unbelievable. The biggest differnce I've noticed is that when you are struggling to conceive and it's not your first, you have virtually no support from anyone. It's very lonely. I often say that "I'm on my own private island." I don't know anyone personally that struggles with conception. My friends that have large families didn't struggle. My friends with smaller families think I'm crazy for wanting another. At least with my first, everyone cheered me on and cried with me.

And let's just do away with "I do love my children that I currently have." That goes without saying. And honestly, I'm tired of validating that. So don't feel you have to validate or explain yourself to me (us). Obviously we love our children or we wouldn't be so depressed at our failure to conceive them.

 

[arlosmama]

I am so sorry...I know how stressful it can be. It is so good you are going to the doctor and taking care of it now...I don't know what else to say but good luck and sticky baby dust...try not to stress until you talk to someone...and keep us all posted on what your doc says. Sending lots of dust your way....good luck!

 

[Jodes2011]

Good luck to everyone trying, if its no 1 or no 10!!!! Its dosent matter, if you want a baby so much then the feeling is the same no matter how many you have.

I think the feeling is similar, but perhaps more intense for those that don't have any children.
Imagine how disappointed those husbands are!

Good luck on your journey...

 

[Jodes2011]

I am in the same position as you! I have 4 boys (2 from my previous marriage and 2 with this marriage) and really would love one more baby. I am however happy with the children i have but deep down i would love a girl. I have also never had problems becoming pregnant or keeping the sticky bean. I have also been ttc since December 2010 and in that time i've had 3 mc's I'm approaching 37 in November and i feel something isn't right?! I am trying acupunture had my 1st appointment last week and i've noticed a big difference in my cm (it's been mostly fertile since my AF stopped). I believe it can help with fertility and mc's so i thought i would give it a shot. For me to see a difference i think i would need another few sessions. I go once a week at the moment. Also try some Apimist it's royal jelly and it improves egg quality i've heard very good reviews from it.

Hi jodes! Have you been to your doctor at all? Id love to stay in touch, we have a lot in common! Ive heard that about accupuncture and cm, how much does it cost you? Im having reflexology on thursday but thats £30!!! hope i dont have to have that every week that could be expensive!!! Especially along with the ov tests etc every month, oh why cant it be simple So sorry about your losses, we lost one before our son was born at 13weeks into the pregnancy and i always think that was a girl??? We will never know and we love our 2 year old to death, its so hard though, ive been so patient and im kind of angry for waiting now as we originally planned them quite close but waited because we were moving to a bigger house etc * we only lived in a 3 bed!!! and we moved to a 6 bed in october, so that was the go ahead really to have the baby we wanted as we now had room. Now we cant get pregnant!!!! I will try the apimist if i can, it cant hurt? Have you tried it? do you notice any difference at all? x

Yeah i been to the doctors and because i didn't go to EPAU with all 3 MC's they won't refer me for any tests (unless i go privately) I'm giving myself another 8 months and then i will review the situation. Acupunture costs £35.00 per session and i'm having weekly sessions for the 1st 8 weeks and then once a month thereafter. Sorry to hear of your loss

I haven't tried the apimist yet but i'm planning to buy some if i'm unsuccessful this cycle. It's pricey at around £16+ and tastes like honey (this is what other ladies have told me) and is like a paste. Give it a go it can't hurt.

Of course i will stay in touch keep going it will happen

 

[Jodes2011]

Good luck to everyone trying, if its no 1 or no 10!!!! Its dosent matter, if you want a baby so much then the feeling is the same no matter how many you have.

I think the feeling is similar, but perhaps more intense for those that don't have any children.
Imagine how disappointed those husbands are!

Good luck on your journey...

Oh of course!! Definately and my heart goes out to those people,But my mum says well you have four why on earth would you want any more, you are probably too old!!!! (my mum has never been broody, and went through her change at 37 due to Cervical cancer cell removal) Its sad remembering how my other 3 used to play in the garden together and splash around in the paddling pool together and my little boy hasnt got that, hes all alone and its like having an only child, the others go off and do their own thing and hes left on his own. We have an urge for one more child together, we would love a little girl together if possible, we arent on benefits and my husband works hard as a PE teacher and im a stay at home mum, so if we want another why do people feel the need to comment, my sister actually said to me, oh but your 37 now what if you have a downs baby!!!!! But her friend is my age and is only on baby no1 and planning more but she would never say that to her!!! And when i asked why.......because she has only got one and its natural to want another if you only have 1!!!! So insensitive!!!!

I know this feeling only too well my family/friends are saying the same things i.e 'why do you want another child?' 'another child will be expensive and do you have the room?' 'don't you think your too old now?' blah blah blah!!!!! So i've decided not to tell a sole this time because it justs makes me angry. I am like you a stay at home mum and my husband is self-employed and we've never been on benefits and the boys get all the love and support they need. They certainly never go without.

 

[Jodes2011]

I belong here with you.

I've been ttc #4 for 15 cycles now. Perfectly normal cycles, perfect ewcm, perfect timing, etc. I have come to the realization that sex isn't going to get me pregnant. It's obviously not working.

Our children are 8, 6, and 2 (in Nov they all have birthdays and will be 9, 7, and 3).

I did have unexplained infertility while ttc #1. Now, I'm in the same boat. I'm back to the RE and doing IUI again.

My feelings are so mixed. I feel so fortunate to have my 3 children (especially after #1 was AR). But, it just seems unfair to have to go through infertility twice. I feel like I'm being punished for having 3 kids. The feelings/emotions of infertility with #1 and #4 are so similar that it's unbelievable. The biggest differnce I've noticed is that when you are struggling to conceive and it's not your first, you have virtually no support from anyone. It's very lonely. I often say that "I'm on my own private island." I don't know anyone personally that struggles with conception. My friends that have large families didn't struggle. My friends with smaller families think I'm crazy for wanting another. At least with my first, everyone cheered me on and cried with me.

And let's just do away with "I do love my children that I currently have." That goes without saying. And honestly, I'm tired of validating that. So don't feel you have to validate or explain yourself to me (us). Obviously we love our children or we wouldn't be so depressed at our failure to conceive them.

I don't know why i do this and your right there's no need to validate the love i have for my 4 children. They are the most amazing people in my life and i love them so much. I think it's because when people ask me why do you want another baby? and aren't you happy with the four you have? i feel the need to validate it for those reasons.

 

[mummymurray74]

Ladies you are so right! why do we do it? I agree jodes2011 its because people question us all the time, cant believe they wont refer you for that reason, i thought after 3 misscarriages you automatically got referred even if you didnt go to the EPAU! How far into your cycle are you this month? I soooo need this month to go right! My GP told me although he was referring me that i wouldnt need to be seen because i would be pregnant he was sure of it! He told me to recite" kun fayya koon" whenever i went to bed as i was dropping off to sleep to repeat it over and over and he Guaranteed me it works!!!!!!MMMMM hasnt worked so far, but if i could manage to get pregnant this month i would be over the moon!!

 

[readyformore]

My GP told me although he was referring me that i wouldnt need to be seen because i would be pregnant he was sure of it!

Yep, my ob/gyn told me this as well.
Now I'm on to cycle #15.

 

[mummymurray74]

I belong here with you.

I've been ttc #4 for 15 cycles now. Perfectly normal cycles, perfect ewcm, perfect timing, etc. I have come to the realization that sex isn't going to get me pregnant. It's obviously not working.

Our children are 8, 6, and 2 (in Nov they all have birthdays and will be 9, 7, and 3).

I did have unexplained infertility while ttc #1. Now, I'm in the same boat. I'm back to the RE and doing IUI again.

My feelings are so mixed. I feel so fortunate to have my 3 children (especially after #1 was AR). But, it just seems unfair to have to go through infertility twice. I feel like I'm being punished for having 3 kids. The feelings/emotions of infertility with #1 and #4 are so similar that it's unbelievable. The biggest differnce I've noticed is that when you are struggling to conceive and it's not your first, you have virtually no support from anyone. It's very lonely. I often say that "I'm on my own private island." I don't know anyone personally that struggles with conception. My friends that have large families didn't struggle. My friends with smaller families think I'm crazy for wanting another. At least with my first, everyone cheered me on and cried with me.

And let's just do away with "I do love my children that I currently have." That goes without saying. And honestly, I'm tired of validating that. So don't feel you have to validate or explain yourself to me (us). Obviously we love our children or we wouldn't be so depressed at our failure to conceive them.

Welcome and thank you!! You are more than welcome to Join us here! The more support for us all the better!!!! I completely agree with you theres no support and its VERY lonely and you are right its the people with small families that think you are mad, both my sisters included!

I have nobody to talk to about it, my hubby obviously but he dosent understand it all even though i explain it over and over to him, bless, he says " we have sex everyday anyway, so why isnt it happening, we have the ovulation day covered" its true, i do wonder....are we fertilising the egg but its not implanting? are the sperm getting there? Is there something wrong with the lining of my womb??? the questions are endless and everytime i see someone pregnant it hurts so much. Good luck to everyone and thank you for all your replies, it really helps knowing there are other people xxxx

 

[Desperado167]

Hi Hun,I am a 44 mum of four desperate for another l.o ,I have had ten losses in the last five years and no- one can tell me why I want another one so much it hurts and my family and friends think I am crazy so I know just how u feel ,hope we can support you and help u through Good luck with the apt

 

[mummymurray74]

Hi Hun,I am a 44 mum of four desperate for another l.o ,I have had ten losses in the last five years and no- one can tell me why I want another one so much it hurts and my family and friends think I am crazy so I know just how u feel ,hope we can support you and help u through Good luck with the apt

awwww thank you! I havent been on this site for a month or so because
i have been so down, but i decided today to come on here, i dont know why?....But now i do! Its because of all you ladies on here, supporting and caring, ive missed you girls! and im here for you too!!!!! We need as many friends as we can get because nobody else understands what its like I just wish we could all meet up in person x

 

[Desperado167]

Hope we can cheer u up lovely,by the way u are beautiful,xxx

 

[sarahincanada]

TTCing is sooooo hard dont feel bad that its taking longer, they do say fertility can decline quite quickly as we age (and things could have changed with your body a bit in the 3 years since you last got pregnant) but I think it just means its going to take more TIME, not that its not going to happen!

Im completely unexplained infertility trying for #1, sometimes I wish there was a reason as its hard when all your tests are good and nothing is happening my fsh, estrogen and base follicle count is all good, tubes and uterus clear etc, but its not happening.

I cant believe people judge people on how many kids they want its up to the mother if she has 1 or 10 kids (as long as she can look after them obviously!). whenever someone is TTCing and its not happening that is hard, regardless of if they have kids or not. Those people who judge can f off