I'm having the worst day ever

[bunnyblonde]

I can't stop crying and I called my baby's father and he didn't like that too much. Then he yelled at me and made me feel even worse. Now I'm stuck at work till 8 and I wish I just never left the house

 

[jenmcn1]

Oh I'm so sorry those days are really really hard!! I say treat yourself to a nice treat, and listen to some Christmas music. I know none of that will actually change anything....but might help lift your spirits.
Or have a chat with a close friend or relative. Big hugs!!!

 

[KimmieHawkins]

that's terrible. I'm sorry that you have this added stress.

 

[Qmama79]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Hormones are wreacking havoc in your body right now. Tell your hubby tonight to be patient with you as over the next few weeks, you might not quite feel like yourself... This will pass! Get a hot chocolate & treat yourself!

 

[bunnyblonde]

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and I hate that I'm doing this all alone. It didn't help that the guy was telling me I'm already acting crazy and he can't deal with it and that I'm being selfish.

 

[bunnyblonde]

It'd be so much easier if I had a husband but the father doesn't want to be involved and it doesn't help that he'll tell me I'm not alone and then tell me he wants no part in it. It's all so stressful

 

[Rhiannon137]

Have you told anyone else close to you about the pregnancy? A friend or family member you could lean on for some support? It sucks that the baby's father isn't stepping up, but it's not right for you to have to go through these ups and downs on your own. Even under the best of circumstances, pregnancy is a physically challenging, hormonally overloaded, emotional time.

Sometimes it really.can help to vent to someone. Otherwise, just try to be kind to yourself, and have faith that things will work out the way they are meant to be.

 

[bunnyblonde]

A few friends know. I'm not close with my family. My mom and I just fight so I don't want to tell her till I'm showing

 

[Rhiannon137]

I know you've posted previously about some drama with the baby's dad and, honestly, I'd freeze his loser ass out for the next few weeks. Make no mistake - from a behavior point of view, he is 137% in the wrong for not being more supportive. However, you can't force that, and continuing to ask and hope for it right now will likely make you feel worse.

Give it a few weeks, and lean on your friends in the meantime. Going forward, there will obviously be financial and legal responsibility matters to get sorted out, but you don't need to do that right now. Again, PLEASE don't think I am condoning his behavior, but the one.thing you can control right now is how much it impacts your day to day life. It might just be that a week or so of wondering what's going on motivates him to take an interest.

If you can stomach it, Ben and Jerry's Hazed and Confused is a pretty good short-term remedy for most drama.

 

[bunnyblonde]

He's already told me not to contact him again till mid January unless there's an emergency. He's acting like I'm ruining his life. He told me on the phone I'm being selfish when in reality he's the one being selfish. When I spoke to him last week he told me he's lost 10lbs and isn't sleeping and I've actually been worried about him and he thinks I don't care what's going on with him at all. I mean I don't but I am worrying about his health, but I have someone else more important to worry about that has no one else to worry about them other than me

 

[minties]

I wouldn't not contact him, at all, ever again. He sounds like he's taking this whole situation and making it about him. You and the baby and the most important things here - a real man would realise this.

Let him worry about his own health. What kind of cold, cruel person talks to a woman carrying their baby like this?

My partner wasn't exactly pleased about this pregnancy and was happy with 2 kids as it was, but he's extremely supportive and caring, no matter how much this is changing his life.

 

[bunnyblonde]

He just keeps saying that he didn't consent to having a baby with me. But it was fine for him to not use a condom. And I can't even imagine considering any other options. I'm even scared to have a miscarriage. He's not understanding how I'm feeling. He told me on the phone that I've never said anything nice to him. Like what? Really? Does he need me to compliment him so that he can feel good about himself? I reminded him that I've constantly told him he's good looking but all he could recall was me telling him he looks like Chris pine. Seriously what's wrong with him? I barely know him and he's upset I don't say nice things to him when I see him. What is that even about. He told me I'm going batshit but I think he's the one that's going crazy. He started yelling something about how he's going to be living under a bridge in a few years and I wouldn't even care. He's the man that gave my child life, my child is half him, how could I not have some concern for him.

 

[bunnyblonde]

The whole situation just sucks so bad

 

[minties]

It does, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. How old is he? To be honest he sounds like he's acting like a petulant child.

 

[bunnyblonde]

He's 38 but he refers to himself as 40. Today he told me his iq number because he's apparently very smart. I want to laugh at him so badly but then I remember my situation and it just makes me more upset

 

[babydustcass]

Seriously I wouldn't be contacting this looser guy again. He's clearly not interested and for the sake of your child it's not worth forcing thay for him/her to have a drip of a father who decides if and when he wants to step up. You should be enjoying your pregnancy and whilst the situation isn't ideal, it doesn't need to have this added stress. If he doesn't want to be involved then he doesn't want to be involved, but I suspect his lip service is confusing the situation further.
Take care of you and don't give him a second thought, show him you can do it with his help or without and leave him to stew in his selfishNess. He may realise soon enough that the reality is that he does want to be a father but sounds like you shouldn't be holding your breath for him to change.

Take care of you and your baby and all will work out in the end.

 

[bunnyblonde]

It's just so hard because I feel so alone and I also really just want my life to be normal

 

[babydustcass]

But don't give up hope your certainly not alone. Many women go through the same thing, my sister just gave birth to her gorgeous first born a daughter and her 'new normal' is the best thing that ever happened to her. It's hard to explain because right now I'm sure all your feeling is stress and worry. It would be a good idea to perhaps reach out to some pregnancy groups or yoga near you to meet other mums ect. It'll put you in touch with other mummies preparing for their new arrivals and give you some people to talk. I've made lots of mummy friends with my pregnancies and we still meet up now the children are in school.
Its not the situation you want but I believe your never handed more than you have the inner strength to handle. Keep positive and I hope soon you can start to enjoy that little miracle growing inside you

 

[Nibblenic]

I thought you were talking about some teenage boy not a almost 40 year old man. He behaviour is ridiculous and i would leave him to get on with his life.

 

[bunnyblonde]

no hes a grown man, but he's acting like a teenager