Im horrible

[Foogirl]

I was getting rather cross about that.

On the one hand they were all saying we were all being insensitive and unsupportive then in the next breath our experiences were belittled and the op was told to ignore us.

Hopefully they'll never have to find out how it feels to go through it.

 

[alibaba24]

Iv not been back on bnb since i posted this how lovely to see all your support! Iv not even looked at the original thread again i dont even know if i want to thankfully its locked then cause i think id have plenty to say if they were be littling what we have all been through

xx

 

[Laura2919]

Iv not been back on bnb since i posted this how lovely to see all your support! Iv not even looked at the original thread again i dont even know if i want to thankfully its locked then cause i think id have plenty to say if they were be littling what we have all been through

xx

I was getting a bit angry myself! I couldnt believe that people were telling her we were insensitive?? What's really insensitive is how she offended all the preemie mums by saying she wanted her baby here purely for reasons that I think are terrible.

May they never ever experience the pain we went through in NNU and what some are still going through, Just because they were lucky to have their little healthy bundles of joy!

 

[alibaba24]

I just had a look at the thread......god surely if ANYTHING due to the fact she has alot going on she would want her baby to stay exactly where it is!!!! I think she has been totally naive and i dont have sympathy for what was said due to the fact she came back and basically admitted she wanted her baby out now WHY WHY WHY would that help her cause at all? so she can start spending what shes saved early? i cant believe money was even mentioned! I know how lucky i have been with Rosalie as a 34 weeker...but oooh im too annoyed to make sense at the mo! i just want to forget her silly idea and hope shes seen sense xxxxx

 

[Laura2919]

I think a few see our point and agreed but others were just completely denying us the right to have our opinion. Just ignore them one put. Well why?? If you had a prem baby would be ignore you over at Premature babies forum! Please!!! Its a joke!

 

[alibaba24]

Yeah i picked up on that too! and then everyone who got involved about the age thing too i personally dont think saying"showing your age" is the same as "18 year olds are silly" which is how they took it! and i dont think it was meant like that at all alot of ppl were forgetting what she had actually said that she wanted her baby here now! How they can overlook that is beyond me, I glad its locked though she didnt come back to defend herself much so i hope shes realised how completly crazy it was to even suggest having her baby now surely she knows about development at 34 weeks....and thats it done not yet!!!!

 

[Laura2919]

Lol, I wouldnt mind but I didnt say she would be a bad parent! I just said she showed her age and she did. 18 year olds are still teenagers however many children they have! She showed how immature an 18 yr old can be! I am not saying all 18 yr olds are immature but they certainly dont have as much life experience!

I am only 23 myself so I surely cannot be made out to be a teenager-hater lol!!

At the end of the day what she said was wrong, She would be willing to put her childs health at risk because of a job and had she had been 28 or 38 I'd have said exactly the same thing! That she would be stupid to even think about that at 34 weeks!

 

[Foogirl]

I think she was definitely showing her age. Sure there are some very mature 18 year olds who make very good parents. And some 30 year olds that don't. But on balance, by the time you are 30, you have had many more life lessons than you had when you were 18. That doesn't make you immature or foolish, it just means you are inexperienced at life. The question that she asked and the reasoning she gave, IMO was that of a young person who hadn't experienced life. The "defensive at all costs" attitude was that of a young person who knew it all and was much the same attitude I had at 18.

I thought I knew everything at 18. I was extremely level headed and mature and knew a great deal about life. 18 years later I know a whole lot more. I would have made a good enough job of being a parent at 18. As a (nearly) 36 year old, I know I have more patience, more understanding and certainly more money than I had. It doesn't make me a better parent but it certainly makes it easier for me to be a parent. Most women, no matter what their age, do their absolute best for their children. That is what makes a good parent.

Certainly if I had fallen pregnant at 18, I would know by 34 weeks what my situation was with maternity leave and what help was available.

What makes me laugh is when we are told age doesn't make a difference and yet this is always followed by "I'm a better parent than most 30 year olds." So age does matter then?

 

[Laura2919]

Yes Foogirl I think your right. So why say you make a better parent than most 30 yr olds?? I havent thought of it like that!!

Well she clearly would be more concerned about her job and her status than anything else.

 

[Lexi mummy]

oh hun you are far too lovely to be a horrible person you also have a lot on your plate right now and a lot of worry but there was nothing wrong with your response at all.

to be honest part of me is quite pleased that the mums in the premmie section said something, purely for my own selfish reasons and i will explain.

as my daughter was stillborn i do have a high chance of possibly having my baby early. my consultant said "well if you get to between 32-34 weeks i'll be happy" so all through this pregnancy i have been thinking "if i can make it past 30 weeks im ok" which is not always the case and doesnt mean baby will be fine.

i now know a lot of the risks involved with having a premature baby. although i would rather lexi was born with some problems then be dead (i mean if i had to choose between what happened to her and what could of happen if you get what i mean).i would still much rather this one stayed in my tummy until 37 weeks. i do not want to have my baby earlier than 37 weeks thats for sure! thank you for your advice ladies and giving some us the cold reality of the situation

 

[Laura2919]

I think your situation is completely different. You lost your child at 33 weeks and you were one week away from what she is! Its not just insensitive you us but to women and men on here who have lost children at 33 and above weeks. She wants to put her child at risk when you would of most likely given your right arm to know your child you be born alive and well!
Its a completely selfish post and she didnt expect the replies she got. It wasnt a case of ganging up on her, It was us showing her how we felt. I was a very very very lucky preemie mummy, My girls were born at 29 weeks with hardly any problems but it still didnt stop me sitting there and wondering just how much I would have done to keep them in a bit longer, the blame that you put on yourself and the what ifs, People who have full term babies havent got this experience! Its certainly something I wouldnt want to happen again if I could help it! But you are different you dont have your child and I do! I think you dont need to explain your reasons as to why you are glad we posted!

I think its completely ridiculous how she got told to ignore us! Like I said lots of times before, I wouldnt want them to go through what I did, or the other preemie mummies.

She is just selfish and completely naive to believe that her baby would be OK! Only God knows that answer!

WIshing you the best for the next few weeks and if you do become a preemie mummy we are all here for help and support.. xxx

 

[Lexi mummy]

I think your situation is completely different. You lost your child at 33 weeks and you were one week away from what she is! Its not just insensitive you us but to women and men on here who have lost children at 33 and above weeks. She wants to put her child at risk when you would of most likely given your right arm to know your child you be born alive and well!
Its a completely selfish post and she didnt expect the replies she got. It wasnt a case of ganging up on her, It was us showing her how we felt. I was a very very very lucky preemie mummy, My girls were born at 29 weeks with hardly any problems but it still didnt stop me sitting there and wondering just how much I would have done to keep them in a bit longer, the blame that you put on yourself and the what ifs, People who have full term babies havent got this experience! Its certainly something I wouldnt want to happen again if I could help it! But you are different you dont have your child and I do! I think you dont need to explain your reasons as to why you are glad we posted!

I think its completely ridiculous how she got told to ignore us! Like I said lots of times before, I wouldnt want them to go through what I did, or the other preemie mummies.

She is just selfish and completely naive to believe that her baby would be OK! Only God knows that answer!

WIshing you the best for the next few weeks and if you do become a preemie mummy we are all here for help and support.. xxx

thanks hun i agree. there is a reason pregnancy is roughly 40 weeks and its not for the fun of it if you get what i mean.

34 weeks is too early and i hope for her sake her baby isnt born before 37/38 weeks xx

 

[Laura2919]

I dont think she cared! She just wanted something that makes the baby come. I hope she goes to 42 weeks now!

 

[~KACI~]

Ladies seeing as the other thread was locked i think its best that this one is as well as it is only encouraging the discussion to continue