I'm just back form my 12 week scan and have miscarried

[Ivoryapril]

Had my scan at 10.30 this morning and was told that the baby stopped growing at about 6-7 weeks. I'm devastated and so angry that we decided to tell our family at christmas, now they all need to know. I don't know what will happen next, i don't want a D&C but don't know if i can face bleeing. I'm so upset, this was our first baby and wanted so much

 

[MUMMYALLY08]

hi i am so sorry for your loss, i cant imagin how you are feeling right now, did they say you will deffinatly need a d&c? If not then ive heard they can give you a tablet to help things along(not sure how you would feel about that either though). My thoughts are with you hunni, take care.
xxxxx

 

[Orange lady]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Same happened to me in December, my first pregnancy too. We had decided not to tell everyone, but ironically told them after we had D&C. It really helped me having family around to support. You have to remember that you've done nothing wrong.
I really am so very sorry.

 

[bump#3]

oh sweetie. I know how devastated you must be feeling right now! You need to put your feet up and get lots of TLC from your OH. It will get easier. Lots of Hugs being sent your way!

 

[baboo]

I'm so sorry for your loss!
xx

 

[Ivoryapril]

Thank you, i just feel so angry and like less of a woman somehow that my body didn't do it's job, or maybe it did, maybe there was somehting wrong with the baby, i just feel so cheated. OH isn't home til late tonight, had to go for scan on my own which was awful.

 

[becky77]

oh i am so sorry for your loss, the exact same thing happened to me ,you go through so many emotions. i started to bleed 2 weeks later had what i thought was a complete m/c only to be told 7 weks later that i had not so the had an erpc(d&c). the erpc was very quick , painless and i was home 3 hours after. for me i wish they had done the erpc straight away as i found there where to many unknown things witha natural m/c or the tablet.
hope this gives you some more information to help you make such a difficult choice.

i am truly sorry for you loss nobody should have to go through this.
pm me if you need to chat .

 

[becky77]

i felt the same thing like why did my body not miscarry, but there is no point thinking like that,maybe your lo was just so happy and comfy they did not want to go.
this is not your fault and you are no less of a woman ,you will get through this but time is the only healer here.
look after yourself hun.
we are here if you need us and please feel free to pm me

 

[colsy]

Oh you poor, poor sweetie. Take some time to get used to the news before you tell everyone else. And remember too to take the time to look after yourself during this difficult time. xx

 

[susan_1981]

I'm so sorry. The exact same thing happened to me. Went for my 12 week scan and found out the baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. It was absolutely awful. Found out on 23 December, needless to say I had the worst xmas ever. I was planning on showing all my family and friends the scan picture on xmas day which obviously didn't happen (and like you, I had told most people). I also felt like you, angry at my body for not doing it's job properly. The fact that this went on for 5 weeks unnoticed and just thinking that if this had happened at 7 weeks, as opposed to 12, I could be well on my way to trying again. I think it's completely natural to feel a whole load of different emotions.

I opted for ERPC (same as D&C). I really think it is the best option (for me at least). I had the choice of taking tablets which would make me miscarry but I would have to had gone back 2 weeks later to check everything was removed. I couldn't bare the thought of having another scan to see an empty stomach. Or they said I could wait to let it happen naturally, but as it hadn't happened for 5 weeks, then it was unlikely it was going to happen any time soon. And to miscarry naturally I've heard can be quite painful. I didn't get much bleeding from my op. Bled quite a bit the first day (just like a heavy period, nothing too drastic) and then it was just spotting for about 10 days after.

It really is awful and if you want to talk, please feel free to PM me. I just found that the support I had from my friends and family was just what I needed and, in a way, I was glad I told them.

It's just awful to go for a scan and find this out, especially when you haven't had any symptoms to indicate a miscarriage.

I hope you get through this ok and go on to have a happy healthy 9 months soon xxx

 

[jonnanne3]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[leeanne]

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[buffycat]

oh hun, i really wish you weren't going through this.....

for my first pregnancy, we told close family and then had to tell them all that it was no more.......it was soo emotionally painful

for my second, we decided not to tell anyone until after 12 weeks.....we miscarried at 8.....even without telling people, we ended up putting a front on and praying that we didn't break down in front of people......


i'm still not sure what the best way is.....all i do know is that if you are close to your family, then i am sure that they will help you through this difficult time as much as possible....

take care....and i'm here to talk to if you need someone....

luv & hugs

 

[DiddyDons]

so sorry hun xxx

 

[honey08]

hiya hun, same thing happened to me aswell last march was also my first pregnancy, i started spottin at 11wk,went for scan and baby was only 5/6wk in size i had a dnc mainly cos the wk i waited for a dnc,i was bleeding loads and thought everything had cum away,when i went bk only a little of the sac came away and they said they was still lots to cum away
so i had a dnc, it was ok,i bled heavy for 2days then on and off spotting for few wks, we were totally devastated hun, i felt empty,so sad and just like the end of the world ..... but time IS a healer uknow, we started ttc again when my af came bk properly in may, and i was more determined than ever aswell to get pg, im now 13wk5days hun, ive had 2scans and babys growin lovely, belive it or not within time u will cum to accept this, also with a lot of 1st pg ur body can reject the baby to get ready for another pregnancy, ur body thinks of it as a foriegn body , this is wot ive read.
im truley sorry for ur loss hun,i know wot ur feeling and going thro, let ur OH how ur feeling and ask him aswell,cos ur in pain he will be extremly upset aswell

i wish u and OH all the best for the future

 

[lola]

so sorry to hear of your loss just make sure you take proper care of yourself and do whatever you feel comfortable with. Thinking of you and your family

 

[jen1604]

I am so sorry darling.sending you massive massive hugs.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Ivoryapril]

Thank you all for your lovely messages, this site is a great source of support. I'm finding it hard because i know we'll need time before TTC again but my hubby goes away in Feb until May, which seems a long way off and too long for me, think i'd rather try again fairly soon. Obviously for the minute i'm just hoping nature will run its course soon and that i won't need a D&C x

 

[Wishfull]

Im so sorry sweetie. Its is such a terrible thing to happen and i dont know why m/c ever really happen. Just do what feels right for you. And the grieving process will bring out loads of emotions but let them all out. So sorry for your loss. I know know it hurts your heart so so much. But in time your heart will repair.

My thoughts are with you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[TTC LADY]

Really sorry for your loss hun, it's absoluty devastating I cant imagine how you are feeling.

Did you not have a scan at 8 weeks though when all was developing well ?