I'm not ready to hear this. It's only been 3 days.

[kellze]

I started bleeding 3 days ago and have not had the full loss yet. I am going to the Dr today. But I know I have lost this baby

My best friend in the UK sent me this message....

Right lady. It hurts I know (more than most, I know) But you will get through this. You have 3 beautiful children. You are so blessed. I know that does not ease the pain of loosing a child, but some of us can't even have one to full term!

I am so not ready to hear that I should just be grateful for what I have. This is my second loss in 4 months and I am in pain, upset and scared. I did not need this. I haven't been flaunting my loss or sadness, just keeping quiet and staying out of things. For 3 days!

 

[SoBlessedMama]

I am so, so sorry for your losses. It's horrible to go through a loss, and it hurts when (even well meaning) people say the wrong thing. I'm sorry, mama. Big hugs!!!

 

[Destiny08]

I'm sorry for your loss I had mine on the 8th of April (Fri) and had to wait until the 12th to have it confirmed. The waiting was worse than the bad news.

It doesn't make it OK that you already have children - I have a beautiful daughter, but it didn't stop me loving my second child from the moment I found out.

 

[cupcake23]

I'm so sorry kell, you don't need to hear that! I have 2 incredible kids, but it doesn't diminish the sadness I have gone through with my mc, you are allowed to be sad and to take time coping with your loss.

I would tell your friend that her comments were badly timed and not appreciated.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I have 3 children. Definitely didnt plan my pregnancy, nor will we be ttc at all, infact he is getting snip, BUT we are till devastated.

 

[Kiwiberry]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling them they can't be happy because others have it better.

 

[lxb]

right on!

Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling them they can't be happy because others have it better.

 

[lesondemavie]

People say all sorts of horrible things that don't help at all. It's hard to know what to say or do. The important thing is that they're there and trying. I doubt your friend meant that you can't feel sad because others have it worse. I think people react to grief by trying to cheer you up and get you to look at the bright side or to look hopefully toward the future. They mean well, but really all we usually need them to do is be there and let us be sad or angry or whatever it is we're feeling. Miscarriage is devastating no matter when it happens or what your situation. I've tried many times to count my blessings. Even though I do not have any living children I still have a pretty amazing, wonderful life. It doesn't stop the sadness though. I think that will be there in my heart, in my core for a long while to come. I'm getting to a place now though where pain doesn't take away from the rest of it, and the good things in my life are shining brighter once again. Having children doesn't make it any easier to go through a miscarriage, but maybe just maybe you'll get to place where thinking of them and the other good, amazing things in your life will shine bright enough to warm your grieving heart. I think maybe that's what she would have said if she could, if she knew this sadness herself (which we would never wish upon anyone).

 

[Truckingmama]

I believe you're allowed to grieve the loss of a child, weather she has had the good fortune to carry a child or not! It's not fair for her to say basically that you're not allowed to grieve or feel sad because you already have children! Grieve and pamper yourself! You need it!