I'm pregnant with some issues, help?

[shadowsilk]

I'm sorry that this thread has confused quite a few people, and caused a bit of chaos? It's alright now and it's going to be good from now on, so Im wondering.. how do you delete a thread thats no longer needed?

 

[Samo]

I really don't have any advice for you, sorry hun, not sure how social service and what not works. From your last post, i know you were afraid of telling your dad...but i think that is probably the best way to find out how things will work out. That or calling and asking the social services how they handle this sort of thing.

And if you and your DH don't have jobs...i would suggest atleast he find one. Even if it's just a short term job. How do you guys cope now without one? Do you live with family? Ah well, good luck to you, but definitely look into job ads or something. Any little bit can help.

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I used to work for Social Services and supervised contacts between children and their families. One of my friends children (who i met through social services) had her son taken into care at 8 months when she found out she was pregnant again. Obviously there was other history going on there too but once she had her daughter her family (husband & DS) moved into an assessment centre for a few months. She is now back home again with her two children. Is an assessment centre possible for you? They offer so much support.

 

[shadowsilk]

I really don't have any advice for you, sorry hun, not sure how social service and what not works. From your last post, i know you were afraid of telling your dad...but i think that is probably the best way to find out how things will work out. That or calling and asking the social services how they handle this sort of thing.

And if you and your DH don't have jobs...i would suggest atleast he find one. Even if it's just a short term job. How do you guys cope now without one? Do you live with family? Ah well, good luck to you, but definitely look into job ads or something. Any little bit can help.

we actually are on welfare; and we have low income housing 3 bedroom townhouse

 

[shadowsilk]

I used to work for Social Services and supervised contacts between children and their families. One of my friends children (who i met through social services) had her son taken into care at 8 months when she found out she was pregnant again. Obviously there was other history going on there too but once she had her daughter her family (husband & DS) moved into an assessment centre for a few months. She is now back home again with her two children. Is an assessment centre possible for you? They offer so much support.

the social service worker here, stephanie, was one who liked to lie and twist words. No word of lie. Ask anyone who has had her.


she could twist ANYTHING and make it look bad, she told me she was going to ask for a section 54 without telling me what section 54 really was, she said it was like a psycho-analasis or w/e but it's actually to see if they can get the situation elevated to crown ward and adopt the kids out.

 

[doctordeesmrs]

Is there any way to put in a complaint. My mum is also a social worker and recently she had to take over a case from a co- worker as there were a number of complaints against that particular person. I really hope you get something sorted. I know its not easy.

 

[shadowsilk]

see, all the other workers I had said I was putting good effort in to straighten things out, and things were going well. But this particular worker didnt show up for HER OWN appointments with me, and blamed me for them.

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I would seriously consider putting in a complaint. You don't deserve to be treated like that. They should be able to refer you to someone else if it came to it.

 

[shadowsilk]

I would seriously consider putting in a complaint. You don't deserve to be treated like that. They should be able to refer you to someone else if it came to it.

tried they said no... the complaints im definately gonna file if they try and give me the same worker ever again!

 

[Ann-Marie]

sorry...I'm a bit confused... I thought you said in another post that you're married and live with your husband and 2 kids ????

 

[salmynka]

I'm not familiar with the social system over there but i am a mental health worker with some experience in situations similar to yours. Obviously i don't know all the details so i can't help massively.

I do know however that over here each pregnancy/birth would be assessed individually and the child wouldn't be taken away if there was any chance of supporting the two of you and keeping the baby with it's mother.

You were very young when you had your other children and it would appear that your situation has improved since then so I would try not to judge this pregnancy with the last two and try to be positive and fight your corner. You need to get an advocate which should be provided either by social services or by a charity. Your GP may be able to help point you in the right direction?

Try to keep positive and remember that you are in a different place this time mentally and emotionally.

xxx

 

[shadowsilk]

sorry...I'm a bit confused... I thought you said in another post that you're married and live with your husband and 2 kids ????

I am married and have 2 kids. I don't live with the kids??? I dont recall saying that...

 

[shadowsilk]

I'm not familiar with the social system over there but i am a mental health worker with some experience in situations similar to yours. Obviously i don't know all the details so i can't help massively.

I do know however that over here each pregnancy/birth would be assessed individually and the child wouldn't be taken away if there was any chance of supporting the two of you and keeping the baby with it's mother.

You were very young when you had your other children and it would appear that your situation has improved since then so I would try not to judge this pregnancy with the last two and try to be positive and fight your corner. You need to get an advocate which should be provided either by social services or by a charity. Your GP may be able to help point you in the right direction?

Try to keep positive and remember that you are in a different place this time mentally and emotionally.

xxx

Thank you,

 

[Tam]

Good Luck hun! I hope it all works out for you! x

 

[coccyx]

Think Ann Marie is referring to post where you said your father had your 2 kids.

 

[leeanne]

Think Ann Marie is referring to post where you said your father had your 2 kids.

I am confused as well. Here you said you lived with your husband and kids https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnan...96-just-found-out-my-father-wont-pleased.html and now you say your father has custody.

It's just a bit confusing.

In summary though, I hope that everything turns out well for you.

 

[Uvlollypop]

id complain and fight tooth an nail hun, if you are ok no there is no real reason why you cant fight to keep+get your other kids back.

just be aware that if you do fight it might bring up memorys for you and you need to make sure you and your husband are fully ready to take that on.


i hope it works out for you
x

 

[shadowsilk]

I am confused as well. Here you said you lived with your husband and kids https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnan...96-just-found-out-my-father-wont-pleased.html and now you say your father has custody.

It's just a bit confusing.

In summary though, I hope that everything turns out well for you.

Oh well yeah I was sorta not thinking when I wrote im sorry the correct way of what I emant to say was" Im married, I have two kids" not Married living with 2 kids and hubby.. sorry

 

[anita665]

Hey.

I'm really sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment.

My step sister is in a similar situation to you, only maybe worse as she has 4 kids who were taken by social services and adopted to she can't even see them & has no chance of getting them back.

That was a year ago & she's now pregnant again (due 3 weeks after me). She's facing the possibility of them taking her baby as soon as she's born and if not then, possibly when she's a toddler. The whole family was really angry at her for getting pregnant again so soon after her kids were taken, not to be nasty but because they cared about her and knew how painful it would be to see her have to go through that again.

Just remember that however your dad reacts, it's only going to be because he's concerned for you and the baby. In this country I think that at times social services can be to hard on people but at the same time they can be really blind to situaltions where there help is really needed.

Like my step sister, all you can do is do your best to prove to them that you can care for you baby. I really hope it works out well for you and you have some support. Try not to let the situation bring you down too much or your just playing into their hands.

 

[shadowsilk]

Hey.

I'm really sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment.

My step sister is in a similar situation to you, only maybe worse as she has 4 kids who were taken by social services and adopted to she can't even see them & has no chance of getting them back.

That was a year ago & she's now pregnant again (due 3 weeks after me). She's facing the possibility of them taking her baby as soon as she's born and if not then, possibly when she's a toddler. The whole family was really angry at her for getting pregnant again so soon after her kids were taken, not to be nasty but because they cared about her and knew how painful it would be to see her have to go through that again.

Just remember that however your dad reacts, it's only going to be because he's concerned for you and the baby. In this country I think that at times social services can be to hard on people but at the same time they can be really blind to situaltions where there help is really needed.

Like my step sister, all you can do is do your best to prove to them that you can care for you baby. I really hope it works out well for you and you have some support. Try not to let the situation bring you down too much or your just playing into their hands.

Your;e right. tho the kids were taken almost a year ago
i hope i can cope, my father knows now and he took it okay, so hes not mad. and my husbands slowly easing up.