I'm really angry at a nurse who 'helped' deliver Joseph

[Jody R]

I agree, inappropriate for you BUT I understand why they do it. Getting baby out in their #1 priority, not your feelings IYKWIM?

I was just going to say that, but was plucking up the courage
Logans birth was not straightforward and could have ended up in a c-section, but in the end he was gotten out with forceps as he was facing his side. The doctor told me what was going to happen, and that it might end up in c-section, but I didnt care as long as Logan was out of there happy and healthy. And he was, I would not have changed anything about his birth What the midwives said may have seemed rude but they are thinking of the baby's health, Blah11 is right, your feelings dont come in to it and nor should they

I didn't care what they physically did to me in order to get Joseph out safely.

I was just minutes away from going for a c-section when they decided to try the episiotomy and forceps instead.

But I think you are wrong when you say my feelings should not have been taken into account. In the space of eleven months I gave birth to a stillborn son and a daughter who died two hours after her birth.

Surely anyone with a bit of a brain and a hint of compassion would try to make the birth of my next child a bit less stressful and upsetting for me, especially since I was so confused and trying to explain to her that could not tell anymore if I was pushing or not

As I said, the implication from anyone that I didn't want the best for Joseph or that I put my own feelings first is upsetting and untrue, but shouting at a woman in labour does not help and in fact I believe it hindered his delivery and put him at risk.

And there is no justification for her attitude and the thing she said after his birth.

 

[Logan's Mum]

I agree, inappropriate for you BUT I understand why they do it. Getting baby out in their #1 priority, not your feelings IYKWIM?

I was just going to say that, but was plucking up the courage
Logans birth was not straightforward and could have ended up in a c-section, but in the end he was gotten out with forceps as he was facing his side. The doctor told me what was going to happen, and that it might end up in c-section, but I didnt care as long as Logan was out of there happy and healthy. And he was, I would not have changed anything about his birth What the midwives said may have seemed rude but they are thinking of the baby's health, Blah11 is right, your feelings dont come in to it and nor should they

I didn't care what they physically did to me in order to get Joseph out safely.

I was just minutes away from going for a c-section when they decided to try the episiotomy and forceps instead.

But I think you are wrong when you say my feelings should not have been taken into account. In the space of eleven months I gave birth to a stillborn son and a daughter who died two hours after her birth.

Surely anyone with a bit of a brain and a hint of compassion would try to make the birth of my next child a bit less stressful and upsetting for me, especially since I was so confused and trying to explain to her that could not tell anymore if I was pushing or not

As I said, the implication from anyone that I didn't want the best for Joseph or that I put my own feelings first is upsetting and untrue, but shouting at a woman in labour does not help and in fact I believe it hindered his delivery and put him at risk.

And there is no justification for her attitude and the thing she said after his birth.

I didnt say that you were not trying hard enough, its just the midwives did not think you were. Plus, what the midwife said to your mum after his birth was awful. I watched an episode of "One born every minute" and saw a woman told similar to you, that she wasnt trying hard enough, and I think it was just to motivate her to push Maybe if the midwife had known your situation she may have not said it. Either way Im sorry if it appeared I said you were not helping in Josephs delivery, I know you would have been trying your hardest

 

[Blah11]

I agree, inappropriate for you BUT I understand why they do it. Getting baby out in their #1 priority, not your feelings IYKWIM?

I do see what you mean, it was my priority too. But still, once he was out why be so rude? I think most people want to know their baby is okay and a simple "he's fine" would have been so much better than a nasty and sarcastic comment.

Yeah, they sound like they were being rude to you, I was meaning in more general terms. Was very inappropriate for you anyway since you had already had a baby born sleeping.