Im so confused :(

[Lilly12]

Sometimes my husband confuses me soo much
He wants to dtd now without a condom, using the withdrawal method..
He KNOWS that alot of women do get pregnant while practising this method.

Then today I got a lil sad (supposed to start AF yesterday, usually before my period I want a baby soo bad)... I said something to my husband as to when he wants to have a baby and then hes like "some day" ...

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS!!!

He does want to have sex with me without a condom, and he knows precum has sperm in it too, and he knows this is not a safe way to prevent pregnancy..YET he says he wants a child SOME DAY..

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

 

[DJ987]

Aww hun men can be so confusing! They just don't see things the way we do and they don't realise how a few words can make us think so much! I hope things work out for you the way you want them to, hang on in there xxx

 

[dj's_wife]

Give it time. I know that's an answer that gets so old but it's true.

I've been with my husband for 10yrs, married for 5 1/2 years and in November he finally was okay with me not being on birth control anymore, and has been pretty lax about being careful. I chart so I know my cycles, and he is finally at the point of saying "I can't wait, I'm ready for a little one".

I personally think that it's a scary thing for men to openly say that they are ready and want a child. Us women have our own fears but our desire overrides those fears. For men it just seams different.

Give him some time. I'm sure him being okay with not using a condom is his way of warming up to the idea and letting you know that without directly saying it.

 

[Lilly12]

Thanks ladies.
Yeah he used to get pissed at me for even talking about wanting a child.
It has gotten alot better, although sometimes when he's in a pissy mood it still annoys him.

Then when he told me about a week ago that we could stop using condoms (im not on any form of bc either) , my jaw must have dropped to the ground..I couldn't believe it..thought it was just a spur in the moment saying.. but we did dtd alot last week with pulling out...
One time he even said we should write it on the calender when we dtd so we know whenever I get pregnant, when we conceived..If that's not being ready than what is?!
He OBVIOUSLY knows the possibility of pregnancy since I don't even chart (yet), he's not even that interested in me charting, he seems to not care about that and he told me not to worry so much.
What the hell DOES he want???????

Whenever I do talk about it too much, he shuts down.. So I try not to talk about it too much.
I know I should be really happy with this improvement on his side...and I am!!!
But then he replies to my "when do you want to have a baby?" saying "some day" .............?????

AAHH, it just drives me nuts sometimes..sorry for whining

 

[Rei]

it sounds to me that he doesn't know what he wants so he decided the "not prevent but not try" method and just what happens happen......if that makes sense.......

 

[Lilly12]

Update:

Well I just talked to him, I'm a talker and he's not, I can't live in insecurity.

So I told him he confuses me, explained how I felt.

He said this is his/our way of NTNP, although he IS kinda preventing by pulling out, in his eyes that's not really preventing because he used to be sooo uptight about protecting (condoms).
He says if it happens , it happens , he says he doesn't feel it's that nescesary to talk because he knows I'll be in no matter what.

He says for his feeling he doesn't want to actively try for a baby for about a year, but if it happens it happens and he'd be happy.

He told me not to worry and that he's just going with the flow kind of.
I asked him if he's ready for a baby and he said Yeah I guess.

So thats a HUGE step for him!!!!

It's going in the good direction!