I'm so upset today.

[cooch]

Just a vent so you don't need to post. I've been feeling so emotional since my lap on Wednesday. I just feel completely helpless. Which is a cheek as I have my 2nd NHS specialist appointment this Tuesday, when they will decide what happens next.

I just feel as if it's hurdle after hurdle. First of all crap hormones (which are still not fixed, still trying to get the correct dosage and I've had to pay privately for it), now I have a completely blocked right tube (the side which was giving good ovulation) and they found a small bit of endo- but they did zap it.

I know there are people in a much worse situation but I have seriously had enough. I can't get over just how unfair it is. My b*tch of a sil got 'accidently' pregnant. Thankfully I live no where near hear but I am so resentful of her, I totally grudge it of her. I have tried telling myself that she can have as many as she likes as it doesn't have an impact on whether or not I get mine, but I just can't deal with it.

Since we started ttc everyone has fallen pregnant and had babies. Even those not in the position to do so. I am now of the opinion that God has nothing at all to do with it as he gives babies to murderers, abusers and addicts, so I'm not going to blame him any longer.

Sorry for the vent- but its a bad day.

 

[wannabemummyb]

to you hun, we all have bad days, venting truly helps! I concur that it is all totally unfair and there is no justice in the world. I am still trying to hold onto the faith that it will happen for us to you

 

[cooch]

Awe thanks. I'm already feeling better, lol. I have been so emotional the last couple of days, and maybe afterall being strong isn't my strongest point.

 

[Sizzles]

((Cooch)) It's rough LTTTC isn't it?!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Awe thanks. I'm already feeling better, lol. I have been so emotional the last couple of days, and maybe afterall being strong isn't my strongest point.

I disagree, i think part of being strong is knowing that you need to vent at times!

 

[Hays :)]

hugs chick, its only big long arse journey, so dont feel bad for feeling shite, xx

 

[wonderstars]

We need the venting days to keep our sanity. Vent away.

 

[NavyWife84]

Vent away...that's what we're here for. If I didn't have my girls on b&b to vent to I would go absolutely crazy!!!

 

[a1b2c3]

Vent away cooch. We all do it! Glad your feeling better though x

 

[Lily7]

totally agree with everything you have just said and most of it, I could have written myself x

 

[PrincessTaz]

Everybody needs to vent sometimes otherwise you'd completely lose the plot and here your surrounded by women that totally understand what you're going through and I personally think it massively helps.

 

[dodgercpkl]

Vent away! We all have those days. *hugs*

 

[Armywife84]

SILs, don't even get me started .

I feel that I don't need/want anymore nieces or nephews at the moment...I want/need my first baby!! Don't get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephew, but it's just bad timing for anyone else in the family to get pregnant.

You haven't given up on LTTC..so you're stronger than you think. Everyone keeps telling us to never give up, so I think we should keep on trying. It's all we can do.

 

[ANC]

you know, I've been an emotional CRAZY person since my lap. Like, 3 total evenings of crying. I've heard it can be from being put under or from the hormones or whatever.

I felt a lot of anger I think..like 'I am in all this pain recovering from this procedure just to see what is wrong with me, and I may not get pregnant and other people are just popping them out right and left around me lately. It's like a pregnant person a day.

Feel free to vent. I personally like hearing that I'm not alone in my crazy. Other people do cry alone in their bathrooms for almost no reason...right?

 

[wonderstars]

Feel free to vent. I personally like hearing that I'm not alone in my crazy. Other people do cry alone in their bathrooms for almost no reason...right?

I do tend to in the shower where no one can hear me over the water.....

It's one of those days for me where all my pregnant patients (I'm an RN) are needing management. At the time I'm always professional and really do care but at the end of the day I am emotionally exhausted, come home and then realize I helped everyone else and I'm still barren.

Okay, I'll stop highjacking the thread now that my rant is done.

 

[cooch]

you know, I've been an emotional CRAZY person since my lap. Like, 3 total evenings of crying. I've heard it can be from being put under or from the hormones or whatever.

I felt a lot of anger I think..like 'I am in all this pain recovering from this procedure just to see what is wrong with me, and I may not get pregnant and other people are just popping them out right and left around me lately. It's like a pregnant person a day.

Feel free to vent. I personally like hearing that I'm not alone in my crazy. Other people do cry alone in their bathrooms for almost no reason...right?

Yeah, I totally agree. It has been like everyone has gotten pregnant and I know that's an exaggeration- but only very slightly. Been told now I should be trying to get an HSG with tubal catheterisation, urgh. No doubt the NHS will not fund it and a lady on another post gave me a rough figure of £1800 for private. There's not even anesthetic- suppose they can charge what they like.

But I have been mega upset and teary- no tantrums but tears.

 

[Evon47]

Hi Cooch, I totally understand what you are feeling. I was in bits after the lap also. All my friends too are pregnant, or having their second. And to top it off, my SIL is about to pop her no 4 (3 of which are accidents). I am dreading Christmas now as I am not sure whether I can cope with my own emotion seeing her playing with her baby..............

 

[Armywife84]

you know, I've been an emotional CRAZY person since my lap. Like, 3 total evenings of crying. I've heard it can be from being put under or from the hormones or whatever.

I felt a lot of anger I think..like 'I am in all this pain recovering from this procedure just to see what is wrong with me, and I may not get pregnant and other people are just popping them out right and left around me lately. It's like a pregnant person a day.

Feel free to vent. I personally like hearing that I'm not alone in my crazy. Other people do cry alone in their bathrooms for almost no reason...right?

Yeah, I totally agree. It has been like everyone has gotten pregnant and I know that's an exaggeration- but only very slightly. Been told now I should be trying to get an HSG with tubal catheterisation, urgh. No doubt the NHS will not fund it and a lady on another post gave me a rough figure of £1800 for private. There's not even anesthetic- suppose they can charge what they like.

But I have been mega upset and teary- no tantrums but tears.

I don't know too much about NHS since I'm across the pond, but you would think that NHS would cover it since it's part of the norm fertility testing? Sorry to hear that, it's completely unfair!

 

[cooch]

I don't know too much about NHS since I'm across the pond, but you would think that NHS would cover it since it's part of the norm fertility testing? Sorry to hear that, it's completely unfair![/QUOTE]

I called the clinic and its £377- big difference eh?? Anywayt he NHS professor advised not to have it done as It can damage the good tube. The Napro doc thinks I should have it done and all research I have done online - not one thing mentions a possible damage to the other tube!! Anywya without it getting done our natural conception for the next yr is sitting at just 12% of a chance. So think I might stick with the advice of the Napro doc, lol. xx