Inappropriate Facebook sharing?

[Eternal]

What is ok and not ok to discuss in Facebook?

A friend shared she felt depressed and she has support and encouragement given from some of is, but one woman repeatedly told her, it's not right to share that on Facebook, you should text a family member or close friend about it not share it on Facebook.

Anyway, I strongly disagree with her, although I must admit some people over sharing does get annoying, but I very much disagreed in this case. Opinions? And what is ok or not in your opinion?

 

[staralfur]

Sharing intimate details about relationships, family conflicts, etc. is not okay in my opinion. My DH has a few friends who post things like "my husband is such an asshole..." and then go on to explain why. Not everyone needs or wants to know the gory details of your relationship problems.

Basically, if you were in a room with everyone on your friends list and would feel uncomfortable saying it to them in person, it's probably inappropriate to post.

 

[Eternal]

Sharing intimate details about relationships, family conflicts, etc. is not okay in my opinion. My DH has a few friends who post things like "my husband is such an asshole..." and then go on to explain why. Not everyone needs or wants to know the gory details of your relationship problems.

Basically, if you were in a room with everyone on your friends list and would feel uncomfortable saying it to them in person, it's probably inappropriate to post.

Very true,I hate it when people do that. My half sister (who I've never hard any relationship with other than Facebook) does that like every week, and then they split up and I think, yeah, if leave too if anyone did that to me.

What goes in between hubby and me stays between us, not that we really argue much, but there is no way either of us would right anything I condemning about each other or even say them to other people.

I do sometimes write, "my husband is amazing, he took half day at work so I could go to bed as I was ill" type comments (note this has never happened) which I know some people find annoying

 

[Sarahkka]

I am a VERY cautious Facebook user. Not to sound too paranoid, but I have heard of far too many people doing themselves some real damage career-wise by being indiscreet on social media. So that element of caution is always governing what I post. In that light, I would be very careful posting about mental health stuff on my wall. I would create a private group with those who supported me and use that. Not because I would be ashamed, but because that would offer me the privacy to vent and share.
On just a personal level, that kind of relationship oversharing (the my husband is an asshole kind of stuff) definitely makes me cringe. It's really nasty and disrespectful to call out your partner like that and most of the time it seems to be over something so petty. I hate that kind of bitchy drama. I usually wind up quietly unfriending repeat offenders. It makes me feel very uncomfortable to have someone's argument shoved inmy face like that.

 

[catty]

I think anything you wouldnt tell people if you seen this is to in depth for facebook.
I hate when people write how much they hate there boyfriend then the next day they say there our for a nice romantic meal I find it quite cringeworthy tbh.
I sometimes find it a bit irritating when people write every single detail about there children but then I dont thjnk thats wrong.

 

[lhancock90]

I refuse to share relationship worries or family dramas.

 

[BigLegEmma]

Anything you don't want stored on the CIA database for the foreseeable future is probably TMI sharing; the existence of this data can come back to bite you.

 

[emyandpotato]

I think you can share what you like on your own Facebook, so long as it's personal to you and not to someone else. Sadly, for many people it's their only social outlet and the only real way they feel they can get support.

 

[katherinegrey]

My SIL shares what medication she's on and the doses It drives me mad, she over shares wayy too much, and she posts about my brother when he's annoyed her, despite having his two sisters and his mother on facebook! We don't need to see every intimate detail of your relationship. I hate seeing battles for children played out over facebook too, I just think, can't you even be civil on here where you have hundreds of friends who can see you arguing, let alone in front of your children?

 

[Bevziibubble]

I think some people put far too much on Facebook. One of my Old mates on Facebook put loads of posts about how her husband had cheated on her when she was pregnant with their baby. Lots of people were telling her that it was too much information to put on Facebook, but I did understand how upset she was and it was probably her way of dealing with it. However, she then posted a picture of her ex-husbands underwear that she had found in the house after he had left, covered in skidmarks. THIS was too much. There is posting too much information, but this was something entirely different altogether!

 

[JASMAK]

I think there shouldn't be ANY shame in sharing depression. People share that they are vomitting, or sick with a cold. Is depression not just the same. Oh right...there is the social stigma with mental illnesses. Good grief ladies...what is the difference? Why should this person NOT get support. If you find someone 'overshares' keep scrolling, delete them, or don't be so judgey. Honestly, I don't think it's this ladies issue that is the problem, but the other people who SHOULD be her friends, who instead, are probably making her feel worse. They really should delete themselves.

 

[Eternal]

I think there shouldn't be ANY shame in sharing depression. People share that they are vomitting, or sick with a cold. Is depression not just the same. Oh right...there is the social stigma with mental illnesses. Good grief ladies...what is the difference? Why should this person NOT get support. If you find someone 'overshares' keep scrolling, delete them, or don't be so judgey. Honestly, I don't think it's this ladies issue that is the problem, but the other people who SHOULD be her friends, who instead, are probably making her feel worse. They really should delete themselves.

your post was fairly word for word my response.

I said, "so if ----- had diabeties and write sometime like 'annoyed this having to increase my insulin again' would you react the same? " because frankly I see no difference.

So sick of social stigma associated with mental illness, she went on to say, it's not right, someone could read it wrong and call social service and her kids could be taken, and you think, what? Yes we hear horror stories, but you should never be afraid of admitting mental illness because you need help, you wouldn't ignore cancer, why would you ignore mental illness?

Imagine how hard the world is more less well known mental health issues like schizophrenia? Bi polar, etc etc.

I have severe depression several years ago but never shared anyone publicly but that's because it's not my thing, but I think a lot of people who admit they have a problem. We all need a little help and encouragement every now and then.

 

[JASMAK]

I think there shouldn't be ANY shame in sharing depression. People share that they are vomitting, or sick with a cold. Is depression not just the same. Oh right...there is the social stigma with mental illnesses. Good grief ladies...what is the difference? Why should this person NOT get support. If you find someone 'overshares' keep scrolling, delete them, or don't be so judgey. Honestly, I don't think it's this ladies issue that is the problem, but the other people who SHOULD be her friends, who instead, are probably making her feel worse. They really should delete themselves.

your post was fairly word for word my response.

I said, "so if ----- had diabeties and write sometime like 'annoyed this having to increase my insulin again' would you react the same? " because frankly I see no difference.

So sick of social stigma associated with mental illness, she went on to say, it's not right, someone could read it wrong and call social service and her kids could be taken, and you think, what? Yes we hear horror stories, but you should never be afraid of admitting mental illness because you need help, you wouldn't ignore cancer, why would you ignore mental illness?

Imagine how hard the world is more less well known mental health issues like schizophrenia? Bi polar, etc etc.

I have severe depression several years ago but never shared anyone publicly but that's because it's not my thing, but I think a lot of people who admit they have a problem. We all need a little help and encouragement every now and then.

Exactly!!! She is probably having a tough go, and these people who are on her 'friends list' are being anything but a friend telling her that. I feel sorry for her and I don't even know her. I am glad you said something. We all need to realise that this is an illness, just as much as strep throat.

 

[catty]

I think there shouldn't be ANY shame in sharing depression. People share that they are vomitting, or sick with a cold. Is depression not just the same. Oh right...there is the social stigma with mental illnesses. Good grief ladies...what is the difference? Why should this person NOT get support. If you find someone 'overshares' keep scrolling, delete them, or don't be so judgey. Honestly, I don't think it's this ladies issue that is the problem, but the other people who SHOULD be her friends, who instead, are probably making her feel worse. They really should delete themselves.

I dont think anyone that commented said anything about the depression part of the question? We mainly said we think people overshare about relationships. Someone stated a person on yheir fb shares what medication they are on which is possibly not neccessary for fb but noone said they arent allowed to share they are depressed. I personally wouldnt however

 

[Sarahkka]

I don't think there is any shame in sharing mental illness, just as I don't think there is any shame in sharing any other health issue. But posting it on to a FB wall opens that information up to everyone included in your privacy settings. I have no problem discussing my health with close friends, but I would never share personal health issues of any kind with many of my FB friends in real life.
People can be very nasty on the internet, so for any disease, I would be cautious about opening myself up to public comment (which you are doing whenever you post something). For mental illness, in particular, I would be very selective about who I let be my support group. The people in that group would be those I trusted to understand my illness and what kind of support I need. If I were suffering from depression and needed to vent something about that, I would not want less than sensitive responses which could potentially make me feel worse or frustrate me.
And while I agree that there is nothing to be ashamed of, a public posting about a health status absolutely has the potential to be detrimental in a professional sense. A prospective employer, for example, may not hire someone because their FB check showed lots of posts of that person talking about how much they have been struggling with their depression lately. Is it right or fair or even legal for a potential employer to discriminate in this way? No, but who'd be the wiser? If that information is out there, it can be used in a negative way. I think it's important to be aware of that.

 

[JASMAK]

While that may be true ^^ people can use absolutely anything 'against' you if they so choose. Being sick with colds too much, too whiney, too many children, too committed to other things, sexual orientation, being manrried, being not married and having children, cancer, the list go on. If someone is really trying to discriminate, they will. I honestly dont think its ANY different. I really dont. I think its sad people still feel this way.

 

[TriChick]

I try to keep FB statuses light-hearted and drama-free for the most part, although if a friend posted about depression I would be proud if them for seeking help and making the condition known.


On the other hand, I am FB friends with a family friend of my OH. She has a supposed stomach condition (I say supposed because the details regarding her diagnosis vary depending on who you ask). She posts about vomiting and other issues about 5 times a day, everyday (including "checking in" to a restaurant only to comment that she vomited there). At that point I feel it's attention-seeking, which drives me crazy. I feel as though keeping a tally on FB of how many times you vomited that day is oversharing.

Lol rant/tangent over.

 

[Eternal]

I try to keep FB statuses light-hearted and drama-free for the most part, although if a friend posted about depression I would be proud if them for seeking help and making the condition known.


On the other hand, I am FB friends with a family friend of my OH. She has a supposed stomach condition (I say supposed because the details regarding her diagnosis vary depending on who you ask). She posts about vomiting and other issues about 5 times a day, everyday (including "checking in" to a restaurant only to comment that she vomited there). At that point I feel it's attention-seeking, which drives me crazy. I feel as though keeping a tally on FB of how many times you vomited that day is oversharing.

Lol rant/tangent over.

Yeah, Facebook opens a lot of doors to the attention seekers, lol. What sad lives they lead.

 

[JASMAK]

I try to keep FB statuses light-hearted and drama-free for the most part, although if a friend posted about depression I would be proud if them for seeking help and making the condition known.


On the other hand, I am FB friends with a family friend of my OH. She has a supposed stomach condition (I say supposed because the details regarding her diagnosis vary depending on who you ask). She posts about vomiting and other issues about 5 times a day, everyday (including "checking in" to a restaurant only to comment that she vomited there). At that point I feel it's attention-seeking, which drives me crazy. I feel as though keeping a tally on FB of how many times you vomited that day is oversharing.

Lol rant/tangent over.

Yeah, Facebook opens a lot of doors to the attention seekers, lol. What sad lives they lead.

Oh I agree...there is definitely the attention seekers. I have one who loves to go on and on about her miserable life, but then scolds people for not being thankful for their good lives

I went through some things in life that are personal and I would never share on FB. But, no one should be criticized for WHAT they are sharing so long as it is theirs for sharing. This was her way of reaching out, maybe in a very dark moment. No one bats an eye when a post says "sick with the flu", but "in bed with depression" springs people into action that it is too personal.

But...the people who go on and on about their medical issues...puleeeeze...enough already. I have this one lady who blogs her everyday illnesses. Seriously.

 

[Bex84]

I don't think depression is any thing to be ashamed of however I would not have shared it on facebook when I was going through it myself. To be honest the ones that irritate me are the people who write a leading status such as 'urgh I hate my life' and then wait for the people to say whats wrong, if you want to share, share by all means but the manipulating people to say oh gosh whats wrong, though even that if you want to do it fine. I know people who do the talking to partner on statuses while sitting next to each other. I don't share much, its usually positive I do and maybe once every couple of months and a few photos. If I need support I would rather keep it private but then as they say I don't like airing dirty washing in public. If that's the way you get support then fine. It amazes me how many people seem to be sick every week though