Increased NT

[cnote]

I had my 12 week scan on Wednesday and my husband and I were told the baby had a 3.5 -3.7 NT. My bloods were fine, but I guess based on my age (almost 34) they gave us a 20% chance of chromosomal abnormalities and a 10% chance of a heart defect. Upon further research online, I've discovered that some studies have shown the risk to be even higher than this. I have a CVS scheduled for next Tuesday, but I would like to just terminate regardless. I do not want a baby with a lifelong disorder of any kind. I do not think my baby is "special"; I think it's a product of biology and if I have the ability to prevent pain and suffering, I should. Call me cold-hearted, but that's just who I am - or rather what I've become after a life of personal challenges. However, my husband wants to wait for testing results. We are newlyweds and I'm afraid to rock the marriage by insisting upon termination. I just don't really know what to do.

 

[Willow01]

Is it just heart breaking when this happens. I will not judge you in any way I promise, I was in a similar situation to you last year. My NT level came back high (3) and correlating that along with my age (35) I was given a 1-300 chance of my baby having DS. We had already discussed before I fell pregnant that we felt it best to not carry on with the pregnancy if we were ever told this news. Everyone kept telling me this was still good odds and it would be ok but I just didn't want to take the chance so paid £500 for the Harmony test. It gives you a 99.5% result to tell whether your baby has a deformality or not, have you heard of this? Could you look into it or other similar tests, nifty for example? After 12 weeks your babies blood begins to mix with yours and so these tests split your blood from babies and from there can tell exactly what is happening. This also removes the need for the CVS which is invasive and carries its own risks. I hope you read this and have a chat to your partner about possibly taking one of these tests so you know for sure. My results took 9 days to come back, longest 9 days ever but I knew for sure what was going on and could relax. Please don't feel bad about how you are feeling either, as I said I felt the same way too and if it wasn't for these tests I wouldn't have my 8 month old lying beside me now. Please feel free to pm me if you want someone to chat to about thisx

 

[cnote]

Hi Willow, thanks for your reply and for being so non-judgmental. We were given the option for the blood test (non-invasive) but we were advised toward the CVS test because our risk is so high they want to be able to examine the actual chromosomes and provide a definitive answer. I'm seriously just spent though; I feel like I can't deal with this. Even if test results come back negative, then I have to wait until 20 weeks to check the heart and other organs. So at 20 weeks I might still need to terminate. I would honestly rather terminate now, wait a few months, and try again. Why risk having to terminate a baby at 15-20 weeks? It's like saying, there's a 30% risk if I get on that plane that it will crash today. Would I do it? Hell no! How is this different?

I do worry that I would regret it though, and wonder if everything would have been okay. I don't know, I just want to go back in time and have my hubby put on a condom. I know I sound cold, but I'm not afraid of real talk.

 

[Willow01]

I personally think I would want to do the same and terminate now rather than at 20 weeks. It's so different for you than your husband, the baby is growing inside you and say you have to wait until 20 weeks by then you will be feeling flutters, maybe movements and it will be so hard not to try to fall in love with the baby just incase you have to terminate. This is such a hard decision. If you do terminate now there will always be the what if question in your mind but I think the way I would deal with that is to just keep thinking there was something wrong and that it is for the best, if you think the other way you will always beat yourself up. Is it worthwhile trying to sit your partner down again and have another chat about this? I understand your fear of rocking the marriage but it sounds like he isn't fully understanding your concerns, it must be hard for him too though but it sounds like he is hoping in his mind it will be ok after the tests but is he thinking ahead to 20 weeks and what could happen then? This is such a hard situation for you, I am thinking of youx

 

[cnote]

Thanks Willow...I spoke with a genetic counselor yesterday (one from the hospital I go to) and she said my chances are not all that bad, and that she's seen a lot of good outcomes from babies with similar NT measurements. She strongly advised me to do the CVS and wait for test results before terminating. To respect my husband's wishes, I will do that, but I don't have high hopes. In the pit of my stomach, something always felt off about this pregnancy. My husband is alarmed because he says I have no regard for human life and it seems like I don't love the baby, but it's not that at all. I just tend to see things in black and white and if something isn't working, I don't like to drag it out....but I do worry maybe I'm not cut out to be a mom if I think like this. But I would do anything for the people I love, I would die for them. But I guess I don't love something I never got to know, or something that only causes me misery. Anyway Willow, thanks for the support. Have a great weekend.

 

[britt0285]

Hi Cnote,

I'm sorry you are going through this my husband and I had a similar experience just over the past two weeks. Our NT measurement varied from 2.6mm - 3.1mm. I'm 31 and my OB didnt even do the Quad screening this time, which Im a little confused about because I dont remember turning it down. I had the progenity (similar to the maternity21, etc). It was agonizing because I also was not sure what the best option would be if something was wrong. I have a terrible genetic disorder in my family and I would not want to bring someone into this world only to suffer. I don't think that's fair either. But I think your chances are really good.

 

[cnote]

Thanks for the positive thoughts, Britt. I don't know if you're in the U.S., but at my hospital here in California (Kaiser), your NT measurements are considered normal. In fact, we were told that had our NT measurement been below 3.5, our risk level would have gone down dramatically. So being on the "cusp" so to speak makes us feel a little more hopeful. But I'm no fool and won't let hope make me delusional. I'm sorry you're going through this as well, but hopefully it will make you feel better to know that my doctor would have considered your scan normal. Maybe it ranges from country to country, state to state. I understand the worry though. Any chance of the baby being abnormal is shocking. It's just one of those things that feels so f**ked up and unfair. Especially if you're healthy and the odds of it happening are so slim to start with.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, but I think you will find yourself feeling much better after you get your results.

 

[britt0285]

I am in Texas actually. And I did read that it varies from hospital to hospital. I have already gotten my results back and they were negative and we found out we are having a little boy. I would do the blood test its an awful, sucky wait but I feel a lot better now. Sorry I missed the part about the CVS. It should give you closure on whatever decision you make. I also read an opinion a cardiologist had written regarding this measurement saying, it was hard to be exact because you are measuring fluid with sound waves. Also depending on how the baby's neck is postured it can effect the measurement, and a millimeter is so small. Take care of yourself.

 

[MoBaby]

I'm the same age as you. 34 this week actually. We were given a 1:18 chance for downs after my NT scan and bloodwork. The measurement was 2.97-3.1mm and the cut off was 3mm where I'm at. But my bloodwork was off, my hcg levels were super high for gestation. My Ob was on the fence as to if we would have abnormal results and she said that women in my shoes do sometimes choose to terminate. I chose to do the harmony and if it was abnormal I would do the aminocentesis. I've gone through countless rounds of ivf and miscarriage after miscarriage so I actually valued my pregnancy from the point of knowing I was pregnant. There was no way i was going to terminate unless something completely and horrible was wrong. There is a living being inside you. It is something special to be valued. But I guess if you've never struggled to conceive and it's easy to get pregnant and you've never suffered the heart ache of a loss you would feel the way you do. Not being judge mental at all because I would not want to have a child with a serious medical condition and one that would have a poor quality of life. We did a fetal echo at 19 weeks and it was completely normal. I spent countless hours of research, reading journal after journal and I had assumed the worse. But everything came back normal and has continued to be normal and there is nothing wrong with the baby. I think you should wait for the results of the cvs before making any decisions. I don't think it's fair to the baby to just terminate based on some stupid screening tests that has a high false positive rate. I think it would rock your marriage for sure because your husband seems as he is in love with this baby already and is wanting to keep it until you know. If the cvs is normal and you're still not convinced you can do an amino at 14 weeks I believe. And if that is normal you can be assured genetically the baby is fine. Most cardiac defects come with a much much higher nt measurement than yours. I think you need to have a long discussion with your husband. I wouldn't let some dumb screening test make you think something is wrong because you don't know. It's a screening test only. Please get more conclusive results before terminating this baby's life. The baby is more than likely completely normal. You should get results the day after the cvs so it won't cause much of a delay in things. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[cnote]

Thanks MoBabyfor your suggestions, you make totally reasonable points. We have the CVS scheduled for Tuesday, and we're going to wait for results from there. Unfortunately, we have to wait 2 weeks because my hospital doesn't do FISH. I think that's what's hardest about this right now...I haven't told my employer or any friends about the pregnancy because I was waiting for the 12 week scan and now I have to go on hiding it longer. I'm starting to show a little as well so it's getting a bit awkward walking around at work, sucking in my stomach and trying to wear long sweaters in the California summer heat.

I think what disturbs me most of all is my reaction to this. I'm clearly messed up and have some sort of psychological issue, like maybe I'm a sociopath now or am so severely depressed I can't access empathy anymore. I just feel nothing but fear and regret for getting pregnant. Even after the 12 week ultrasound and seeing the baby move, I didn't feel anything but numb. I have gone through some horrid things in this life and never sought counseling since I figured it was all common sense crap anyhow, but I'm starting to realize I may have ptsd or something and it's causing me to detach severely from other people including the baby. Like the thought of anything being wrong with the baby just makes me want to wipe the slate clean and I know most mothers don't feel that way and it's unnatural. I have scheduled a session with a counselor next Thursday. If the results come back positive for a defect and we do terminate, I've decided I need to address this issue before we try again.

 

[britt0285]

I think fear and regret are very normal reactions, because I felt this also. Because it is also in my nature to assume the worse outcome. It is a terrible feeling to always be dreading, or waiting for the next thing to drop. The numb feeling is probably shock. I know when they were telling me something could be wrong I was just completely zone out and I just kept thinking, "please stop talking". I think counseling is always a good idea, for everyone. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I hope you are able to get some peace. I am sorry you have to wait the full two weeks.

 

[MoBaby]

I'm sorry you have to wait such a long time for results. Wonder why they won't do fish with final results pending.
I think how you are feeling is completely normal in a way. If you detach from something then you can't be upset if you have to make a decision is how I'm seeing it. But if you've had a pretty bad life otherwise and never really dealt with it I think the counseler is a good idea. He/she can help you sort through some of the emotional issues underlying. Use your husband for emotional support. Don't be afraid to let your guard up and tell him how terrified you are. Cry if you need to. He is supposed to be there for you and I'm sure he will be. Remember he is fighting this too. He is terrified as well. His baby is affected just as much as your baby is. You guys need each other. It's terrifying to be in your situation. It really is. I didn't tell my coworkers (except the few who had to know right away as I work in radiation) until after 14 weeks, until after the harmony test came back. And still then I was terrified something was wrong or would go wrong. It's hard not to be in control. I totally get it. Pregnancy is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. But it's also the best thing I've ever done. I have 36 days left and can't wait for it to be over. We are all here to support you the best we can. I know we aren't around physically but we can talk whenever you need to.

 

[Septie]

Can't you insist on FISH to get preliminary relief or confirmation of some of the major concerns? If you pay for it yourself? A 20% of a chromosomal issue is quite large, so it is not surprising that you have detached from this pregnancy.
On the other hand, some heart defects are actually not such doom and gloom and can be fixed relatively easily (and remember, even a baby that looks perfectly healthy in utero can still have some things wrong, or get sick later in life, so don't outright doom the baby for some fixable issues that are not a major concern for his/her or your quality of life). If the cvs comes back clean, they can probably even give you an early scan to check for some major heart defects at 16 weeks or so, and then check for the more minor ones at the 20 week scan plus echo.

 

[shellshocked]

I think there are plenty of women who would react as you have. Often it is a protective mechanism. Distancing yourself and your unborn child from heartache, pain and sadness. Sometimes you just have to be brutal in your feelings and you're entitled to them. I would never judge in this situation. Life is hard enough without knowingly bringing a life into this world that would be in pain or have life limiting conditions. Nobody wants their child to suffer or to have a serious medical condition often people who have babies with genetic issues didn't know of them before hand and love them regardless and adjust their lives and feelings to do the best that they can. However, as others have suggested I really would wait for more conclusive test results. The screening tests only give a risk they cannot tell whether there is an abnormality or not. Whatever your outcome or your decision I would probably talk through my feelings with a counsellor, even if its just that they tell you everything you are feeling is normal. I hope the next few weeks pass quickly. Pregnancy is full of so many unknowns it really is a stressful time, I hope you get the results that you hope for.

 

[tag74]

You can get an amnio at 15 weeks now. I did with my son who I lost to Trisomy 18. I received my FISH results within 24 hours and then sadly had to terminate a week later due to Full T18. I would do the Amnio over the CVS - it's more accurate and less risky.

 

[cnote]

Thanks everyone for your responses, thoughtful comments and advice. I had the CVS this morning. It was not as bad as I had envisioned. I read some major horror stories online about the pain, pressure, etc. but it was sort of meh. Not quite as simple as a blood draw, but not as bad as a shot. Anyway, the NT was the same, 3.7 - no change, but the doc who performed the procedure said we should try and remain optimistic because most of the time things are okay. So now we wait to see what happens. At least now if we get bad news in 2 weeks, we can terminate knowing it truly was the right choice. Will keep everyone posted.

 

[MoBaby]

Will keep everything crossed all is okay!!

 

[Cowgirl07]

I hope all is okay!

 

[tag74]

FX!

 

[MoBaby]

Hope your doing okay!! Been thinking about you. Not much longer to wait