Infedelity and TTC

[ashleyalw]

So I dont know where to post this. We found out we were pregnant on 3-14 after ttc for 22 months. I thought everything was good between us but I guess I was wrong. On 3-26 I found my husband making out with another woman. I lost my baby the next day. We are trying to work it out but I cant get the cheating out of my head. And he has a whole list of things hes unhappy with in our relationship. Anyway.... we both have fertility issues and go to see a specialist on 4-20. My window to have kids is closing quickly. If it were you would you start ttc with him again?
We did know the other woman. We actually met her as a couple in October and our husbands work together. We live in a small town and have already run into her once. It kills me to see her. I just dont know what to do. I love my husband and daughter so much and dont want to lose our family but how do I trust him again?

 

[mammag]

I didn't want to read and run, but these situations are so so complicated and no advice I can give will be any better than whatever your heart is telling you to do. I'm so sorry to hear about what is happening.

 

[tiffy0485]

My husband did the same thing in January. I caught him kissing my best friend when her husband and I were upstairs playing video games. Yeah, her husband was his best friend too. It was a roller coaster for me the first couple of weeks, whenever I looked at him I saw that image in my head. In my honest opinion give it a little bit of time. I know that wanting a child is so much in your mind right now but you need to hold off on that and work on each other. Trying for a baby just adds even more uneeded stress. My husband asked me, well more like begged me to start trying again a couple weeks ago. I was hesitant but TTC at that time was the furthest from my mind. Get back to were you used to be and fight for each other again. It will be worth it in the end. If your marriage and love for one another is strong you will get through this.

 

[PrayinForBaby]

Maybe I'm the crazy one...but I would definitely NOT! I believe in working through just about everything as a couple, especially being married, but fidelity is not something taken lightly and is very much a deal breaker for me. But thats just me. You have to do what is right for you and your family.

 

[baby_hopes23]

Hey hun...so sorry to hear about your situation, I know everyone is different in terms of what they will tolerate in a relationship, but I agree with PrayinForBaby, infidelity is just not acceptable to me and once that trust is broken, I cannot imagine being able to regain it fully, I would ALWAYS wonder what my DH is up to and if he's being truthful with me etc. I absolutely don't judge people who stay with their spouses after things like this happen because some people find a way to make it work, so definitely follow your heart and know that whatever choice you do make, it will be one that takes a lot of strength and hard work, either to make the relationship better, or to move on and be happy without him.

I wish you luck and happiness with whatever you decide!

 

[Lisa2701]

Hey honey, I didnt' want to read and run. I don't really want to give too much advice as I think everyone is different and every situation needs looking at differently but I wish you all the best and hope that things work out for you one way or another. Personally I think you need to heal your relationship before TTC again.

I will say, that talking from experience, a relationship can heal after someone breaks the trust and in my case our relationship is stronger and more trusting now that it ever was before but we have had countless marriage counselling sessions....highly recommended. Good luck honey x x x

 

[Angel baby]

Wow, the feelings I had many years ago re-surfaced reading this! Give it time! It takes a lot to push me over and really hard for me to forgive and forget that resulted in my divorce 9 years ago. We had 3 children together! I have mixed emotions when couples try to work it out after that, if you can get past it, that is great for the kids but if you can't it's time to move on! Depends on what type of person you are and how strong you are! I was young and not very strong person at the time! I don't regret it, I do regret getting my tubes tied that resulted in me reversing them last month because I re-married my high school sweet heart! I definately know how you feel not to stop thinking about it or even seeing her! Mine was my best friend and after the divorce I heard many more! You are in a very emotional state right now to make big decisions! Time heals all, it's the wait of time that sucks but it does come! Keep your chin up!

 

[Yogibear0]

Hi hun... I completely get where you are coming from! My OH cheated 3 yrs ago, we broke up for a short time but got back together again and managed to work it out... I too live in a small town and bump into the b**ch every other day! It's horrible, I would love to punch her lights out  but that wont get me very far unfortunately! Its very hard but if u and OH love each other it's easy to work things out... Follow ur heart, it will lead u in the right direction! Xxx