Infertility in Sex Ed.

[tamithomas]

I got into a deep thinking mode trying to find the root to my problem as to who IF really digs at me so much and I found the problem. Here in Canada Sex Ed. is very normal in grade 11, you find out about the ovaries, sperm the 9 months you name it. How to prevent BFP, how BFP happens. But you never hear about IF. We are taught so much that it's easy as 1,2,3 to get BFP and that one small amount of sperm gets in you that's it you're done. I realized that had I been broken into IF and taught about it, I wouldn't have such a horrible sense of betrayal right now, like I had been lied to all of my life.

 

[Bugbabe77]

i know the feeling - i have to teach sex-ed and i wanna scream about how it's NOT so easy to get pregnant - and i have to stop myself from getting too involved with explaining the SME scenarios - and what could go wrong.

Life is just not fair!!!!

 

[Kimiw]

I got into a deep thinking mode trying to find the root to my problem as to who IF really digs at me so much and I found the problem. Here in Canada Sex Ed. is very normal in grade 11, you find out about the ovaries, sperm the 9 months you name it. How to prevent BFP, how BFP happens. But you never hear about IF. We are taught so much that it's easy as 1,2,3 to get BFP and that one small amount of sperm gets in you that's it you're done. I realized that had I been broken into IF and taught about it, I wouldn't have such a horrible sense of betrayal right now, like I had been lied to all of my life.

I believe you are on to something. I think that IF should be taught in Sex Ed at some point in school for the simple fact that it would raise awarness of IF. When me and DH started trying, all we did was stop using BC and condoms and thought that was all it was going to take, have sex with no protection and BAM preggo! No....that is NOT what happend. DH and I were so under educated when it came to IF it never came to mind that we were dealing with it. I didn't even see a doctor until we were trying for 2 1/2 years. And that is when I learned that I had PCOS and was not Oing on my own.

On another note, I saw on one of your other posts that you are finally going to take your first round of Clomid!!! Yay for you!!!

I did not respond to the Clomid 3 years ago, so after trying different treatments for 6 months me and DH needed a break. We were not trying not preventing for a couple of years and still no BFP (I don't believe in not trying and it will happen, cuz we were NOT trying). In Feburary 2012 we decide to try again, saw a new RE and he ran a bunch of tests on me including having a surgery to fix a septate uterus I did not know I had. Finally this month, he wanted me to try Clomid again this time on a high dose of it and I responded! I am currently in the TWW now so here is to hoping! Good luck to you! I hope that you finally get your BFP soon! I am keeping my fingers crossed for myself, 6 years trying for our first baby has been soooooooooo hard!

 

[RKW]

Totally agree, we are told all the way through school, how unprotected sex = baby. No ifs no buts. This is simply not true. I would not har left it so late if I knew how long it would take. I would have come off the pill So much earlier and used condoms. I also feel really lied to. Particularly by my 'I was on the pill but I got pregnant' friends. I mean, really! Who honestly believes that!!! Knowing the likelihood of getting pregnant if you are taking you pull even remotely properly I just don't believe so many people fall pregnant on it!

Argh rant over! C

 

[CherryChops]

Totally agree, we are told all the way through school, how unprotected sex = baby. No ifs no buts. This is simply not true. I would not har left it so late if I knew how long it would take. I would have come off the pill So much earlier and used condoms. I also feel really lied to. Particularly by my 'I was on the pill but I got pregnant' friends. I mean, really! Who honestly believes that!!! Knowing the likelihood of getting pregnant if you are taking you pull even remotely properly I just don't believe so many people fall pregnant on it!

Argh rant over! C

RKW, your post made me smile I have a friend who 'accidently' got pregnant on the pill too. I do wonder sometimes...... she swears blind it was an accident though

 

[tamithomas]

KiwiM: I'm not going on Clomid just yet, gonna give OPK's and vitamin B6 a shot. Already have been on prenanatal for a month a half now. Also gave up redbull and all those energy drink garbage which I've seen a drastic change in my cycles since I've given those up, they're actually regular again. With redbull and monster, my cycles went from being 28 days, next month 39, then 29 .. it was horrible. They really should add to their warning labels along side with their no kids or pregnant ladies, also no TTC'ers!

RKW: so true. Although my ex boyfriend is a result of BFP on the pill so I do know it does happen. But alot rarer then people might think. I also know of a case of my SIL faking to still be on the pill but wasn't so she could get a BFP without his consent.. needless to say, took her only 2 months from when she stopped to get a BFP grrrrrr

 

[readyformore]

Unfortunately, for most people, they do stop taking bcp, and bam they get pregnant. It's just a fact of life.

I'm an OB nurse. Everyday I discharge patients and warn them of their fertility like it's a scary disease. "Don't have sex, you could get pregnant!" Seriously, you would not believe the number of women that come in pregnant saying, "I had a 4 month old baby, I didn't think I could get pregnant." So, it's my job to warn them of how fertile they are......it's really bizarre.

I will absolutely educate my children about how unprotected sex one time can result in a pregnancy. It was always that way for my mom, so why not my children? Now, when they are married, I will be the obnoxious woman hollering at them about how they need to get going and start ttc because it might take years! But, I think that for the majority of the population, they are really fortunate and don't need to worry about infertility.

 

[tamithomas]

Unfortunately, for most people, they do stop taking bcp, and bam they get pregnant. It's just a fact of life.

I'm an OB nurse. Everyday I discharge patients and warn them of their fertility like it's a scary disease. "Don't have sex, you could get pregnant!" Seriously, you would not believe the number of women that come in pregnant saying, "I had a 4 month old baby, I didn't think I could get pregnant." So, it's my job to warn them of how fertile they are......it's really bizarre.

I will absolutely educate my children about how unprotected sex one time can result in a pregnancy. It was always that way for my mom, so why not my children? Now, when they are married, I will be the obnoxious woman hollering at them about how they need to get going and start ttc because it might take years! But, I think that for the majority of the population, they are really fortunate and don't need to worry about infertility.

I understand, I'm all for encouraging to prevent BFP and to take care but at the same time, it's setting people up for major dissapointment for those who are gonna face it..it's a statistic that every one out of seven couples will deal with infertility and it's only setting up for pure heart ache if we are taught that infertility is non existant. Basically, just like every other subject over the years infertility should stop being a taboo subject and just be brought out already. in high school throw in a little " Although some do deal with infertility and not able conceive, it's still important to try and prevent until you're ready," something as simple as that could make the world of a difference. Not the "everyone can fall pregnant in a snap of a finger" mentality.

 

[Armywife84]

Maybe why it's not taught is that it would send a mixed message to teens?

"If I have sex, I will end up pregnant. However, there is that chance that I could be infertile and not have to worry about BCP." Then they would end up chancing it, thinking they're invincible as always!

On the other hand, I do feel a bit cheated as to not knowing about infertility. Although my no one in my family suffers from it, thus there's not a person to educate me on the subject. I guess that's where the teachers in Health class would come in.

If I ever have children, I'll explain the possibility of infertility..but also emphasize the importance of birth control.

 

[PocoHR]

I have to say, I think it might be dangerous and not super useful to teach IF to teens. Like ArmyWife mentioned, it could send mixed messages. Its hard enough to get kids to be responsible when you are straightforward about the risks with them. Then, also, IF only effects about 15% of people (and I bet that number is even smaller amongst teenage girls). Its also a lot more complicated and technical than explaining regular conception, and I honestly wouldn't want to put that burden on health teachers. Plus, they can't be expected to explain every possible complication related to IF, so would they have to pick and choose? I don't think that is wise.

I think you would feel just as disappointed about your IF regardless of what you were taught in high school. No one expects to have trouble getting pregnant, and when you do, its very difficult (regardless of knowing that it should be easy, which is true, it should be). I don't know, but I wouldn't want anyone telling my 15/16 year old girl "well, you should be careful while having sex, but then again maybe you are infertile... so being careful might not be useful for you". It just leaves doubt in a place where you don't want doubt! Even if I have a daughter with fertility problems, I don't want her to be unsafe, and I also wouldn't want her to start worrying about IF before that worry is justified.

 

[tamithomas]

I have to say, I think it might be dangerous and not super useful to teach IF to teens. Like ArmyWife mentioned, it could send mixed messages. Its hard enough to get kids to be responsible when you are straightforward about the risks with them. Then, also, IF only effects about 15% of people (and I bet that number is even smaller amongst teenage girls). Its also a lot more complicated and technical than explaining regular conception, and I honestly wouldn't want to put that burden on health teachers. Plus, they can't be expected to explain every possible complication related to IF, so would they have to pick and choose? I don't think that is wise.

I think you would feel just as disappointed about your IF regardless of what you were taught in high school. No one expects to have trouble getting pregnant, and when you do, its very difficult (regardless of knowing that it should be easy, which is true, it should be). I don't know, but I wouldn't want anyone telling my 15/16 year old girl "well, you should be careful while having sex, but then again maybe you are infertile... so being careful might not be useful for you". It just leaves doubt in a place where you don't want doubt! Even if I have a daughter with fertility problems, I don't want her to be unsafe, and I also wouldn't want her to start worrying about IF before that worry is justified.

you make a valid point. Maybe sex ed. in high school wouldn't be such a good place to teach them, but at least have sort of way to know it exists out there to not feel like a sudden punch in the face. Being told all of my life that I'm gonna be a great mother, it only takes one time and you're done for ect I bought it all and expected it to be true because I trusted what I was being told. I just feel betrayed sorta speak as odd as it may sound even though I know I wasn't because the information was true...for other people. I believed them all,every single person that told me that "lie"... I'm just hopeful that in the future, Infertility won't be such a hush hush subject. It's my brain trying to figure out who to blame for leading me on so badly and not breaking me into the subject of infertility instead of having to find out the hard way.

 

[readyformore]

It's my brain trying to figure out who to blame for leading me on so badly and not breaking me into the subject of infertility instead of having to find out the hard way.

There really is nobody you can blame your infertility on. Not even yourself or your partner. That's what's so hard about it.

Even if you had been told it was a possibility, you probably would have hoped for the best. I can tell you from my personal experience that I went through infertility and multiple failed fertility treatments to have my first child. Never in a million years did I ever expect to go through it again. Even having been there and done that, I still didn't expect it. Yet here I am. There is nobody I can blame. Even I didn't see it coming.