Introducing want/need/wear/read?

[shambaby]

Hi, I’ve been thinking of doing this, for various reasons (reducing income soon with change of job, kids already have a million toys they can’t even remember owning, they place far too much value on having things) and was wondering if there’s anyone who actually does it? And I mean really does it, not saying you’re doing it, then getting carried away and saying you’ll do it next year 😂. If I did I think I would replace something to wear with something to play (board game / video game / music etc) as frankly for an 8 year old boy clothes are not the best present and if we’re reducing the number I’d rather they were things they really want.

My concern is how they will feel, suddenly having their presents reduced after being used to getting more. Has anyone done this? Did it bother the kids? Did you explain it first, or just hope they’d be too distracted by the excitement of the day to notice the number of presents?

This is probably all irrelevant anyway, as my hubby would no doubt ignore the idea and just buy them all the things anyway 🙄

 

[Twag]

I am introducing this this year my son is 4 and my daughter will be 3 with birthdays in November & February and a BIG family they get so much so I am wanting to minimise what I get them but make it more special

I figured the something to read could also be something to watch or play
Both my children seem to love new shoes or clothes or PJs so the something to wear isn't an issue

I am also doing a stocking with fun bits in (I loved my stocking as a child) and they are getting 1 Santa Gift which will be whatever they put on their Christmas list to Santa

Good luck

 

[wildflower79]

I'm thinking about doing this this year too. I think Twags idea of doing a santa gift also, is a good one, so I'll probably include that too. I also do stockings so will fit some small gifts in there.

I'm not sure what dd1 will make of it as she's nearly 7, but dd2 is too young to be bothered!

 

[krissie328]

I do it along with something to share (board games right now) I also plan to do a Christmas eve box with pjs, treat, and a movie.

I tend to let other people (grandparents and aunts and uncles) get some of the wishlist items.

 

[shambaby]

See, mine will be 8 and 5.5, and I’m sure would notice the difference. We dont have a lot of other people buying them presents, maybe 3 or 4, plus a little money from MIL and FIL. But I do think our habit of getting them more or less everything they ask for has had a negative effect. For example, we needed to go to Sainsbury’s after school today, and as soon as they knew they immediately asked if they could get a toy. And sulked when I said no. And asked to look at the toys for ideas for Christmas / birthday lists. And wanted everything they saw. And still tried to get me to buy something - there wasn’t any specific thing they wanted, they just seemed to be asking for everything in the hope that eventually I would say yes. They are lucky enough to have a playroom and it is constantly a mess, they don’t look after their things, and don’t tidy up. I know we have created these issues, and wonder if this might be a solution- if they know they will only be getting a few things, maybe they will think more carefully about what to ask for, and appreciate what they do have more. And focus more on the more important things, like family time and experiences. I hate that Christmas is so much all about the presents.

 

[annio84]

I would say if you feel like that about it then give it a try. I don't follow this in particular but my DD has always had 1 main thing (santa present) and then maybe 4 or 5 smaller stocking presents and sweets from us but obviously that's always been her expectation.

Where do the presents come from in your house? By that I mean what is from father christmas and what is from you? If a lot comes from you then i would just do it, I probably wouldn't say much about it before hand even because I think on christmas morning they'll be excited about what they have got, whereas if you bring it up before they'll be thinking about what they're not getting.

 

[Missbb2591]

We are starting this this year, ours are 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 and 1. They will still get an Xmas eve box and a stocking too. 4 of them have birthdays in nov/dec and the other two are my OHs kids so we only have them part time. We want to teach them the value of things and also they get so much from friends and family that most years they almost get overwhelmed by it all and don’t even play with half of it so I’m hoping this will stop that.

 

[pinkstarbinks]

I like this concept. Ds1 is getting a hoverboard will get a need wear read, ds2 is getting a wiggle board will get a need wear read and ds3 im not sure yet he would like a doctors case maybe that will be his want then a need wear read after. Im pregnant but only just, may still get a want need wear read for them too x

 

[c1403]

I also like this concept but not sure I'd be able to stick to it.

My two both have birthdays in September and already have everything they need.
I think they are probably used to what they get each year (small stocking, sack and main presents/Santa gifts).
They also get loads from my parents and sister and it's very overwhelming.
I do need to budget this year so maybe I'll have a think similar to everyone else on here and come up with something....

Something to Wear (Pretty Dress or maybe dressing up costume)
Something to Read (book)
Something they need (hmm there isn't much)
Something to play (board game)
Something they want (this would be their santa gift).

I could then so their sack/stocking with small items like craft bits and pieces (I've already got some bits from the works like make your own magnets etc).

 

[Scout]

I didn't do the need, want...., but I did cut back last year. I planned on 6 from Santa and one from me, but I went over by 1 gift. This year, I'm doing 5 from Santa and 1 from me. Then she usually gets 2 or 3 gifts from my parents (usually one toy and a couple outfits) and one from my sister later in the day on Christmas and that's it. I think that's plenty as she has so much.

I don't think she noticed last year that it was cut back. She was 4, so that helped.

I think having more than one child would make it less noticeable?? maybe?? Since you'll be buying for two there will still be a lot of gifts. I don't think I'd explain upfront. I'd just do it and then if something gets said, explain. Kids are so excited Christmas morning they may not even realize.

 

[Beckettshades]

We do something she wants, needs, will wear, can read a board game. Then something from Santa and a stocking.
It’s a nice amount under the tree and works for us!

 

[Bevziibubble]

This is a great idea. I need to do something like this!

 

[shambaby]

hmm, there is no way we are doing this! It’s Hayden’s birthday soon and he wants a tablet. We have told him if he has that he will only get a few other things and he is fine with that. He understands the cost etc. So he has a modest list of toys he’d like, I ordered a couple, and hubby says I’ve already got him some things. He shows me this box full of about 6 transformers, a Disney infinity starter pack (second hand, but not the point), a couple of extra figures for it, 2 DVDs and a set of Captain Underpants books! Out of all that the only thing he has asked for is one of the transformers! So we’ll keep some of it back for Christmas but then there’s not much room for the things he actually wants! And then hubby starts talking about ‘if he wants a Nintendo Switch...’. I thought we’d made it clear it was not on the cards if he got a tablet. I despair, I really do. He says he understands we need to cut back, but his actions suggest otherwise!

 

[george83]

We don’t do this but last year we did cut down the amount of presents the kids have. We cheated a little by really spacing out what they did have so they took up the same space on the carpet and we also brought their big presents into the front room where as in previous years we’ve left outside until later. My oldest who I thought would be gutted about the lack of presents didn’t even notice