irrantional broody thoughts. i need help!

[HelpConfused]

I am 27, been with partner for 4 years. Our relationship is stable, and we have discussed marriage etc. We have a house, good jobs and have finished school etc too. We are currently financially stable; I wouldn't go as far to say we can afford the finer luxuries, but then, I wouldn't know if we ever would!
I have been feeling uncontrollably broody for two years now. This came out of the blue, and was not like me at all (initially in the relationship he would have been keener on marriage and kids than me). At its worst it was like an obsession. I felt depressed, sad and had this huge longing for a child. I spoke to my bf about it, and although we both want children , we should wait until our 30s. The overwhelming feeling passed, but now it is back with a vengeance and i don't know what to do! I think my bf is currently going through what I call his mid-late 20's life crisis (i.e., he feels he needs one more holiday with "the boys" etc), but every minute or every day all i think of is having a baby. I know its completely irrational, and the thought of having an accident on purpose horrifies me, but i am constantly thinking, would ti be so wrong? I wouldn't say I would go and try and try and try to get pregnant, but if it happened, it happened? Obviously, I would need to stop taking the pill for this to occur. This is just not something I ever thought I would consider. I need help!

 

[Sazaroo]

Aw hun, I know exactly how you feel and the thoughts of it happening 'accidentally' passed my mind too. I understand the overwhelming physical ache you get when wanting to start a family. And no one else seems to understand. But WE on bnb understand so you're not alone.
I found I brought up babies so much in front of my hubby that it really started to affect the quality of our relationship so try not to pester him too much. Instead vent to us or a close friend.
I also found that watching videos on youtube of women telling their partners they were pregnant helped me enormously - some of the men were so happy they cried. Its so important to me that that is how my husband will react that its worth waiting a bit longer for.

Maybe you could discuss a date? It always helps to have a ticker to see the time going down

Xxx

 

[phoenixm]

Hi Guys

I have been feeling broody for months. My partner and I have discussed kids and he's not ready. I know what you mean about it putting a strain on the relationship. He hates me mentioning kids or my broodiness and I resent him for not giving me what I want. I went to see the nurse for a non-baby related item today, not realising it was the baby clinic at my local GP. It was full of pregnant women and babies, I couldn't stop staring at them (they probably think I'm nuts) and I feel so depressed now.

Can't talk to the partner cos he doesn't understand.

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

You're not alone here hun, it becomes somewhat of an obsession for me too, and the only people that seem to understand are the lovely ladies on here!

Some days I barely think about it, but others I literally ache for a baby and want to be pregnant more than anything in the world that I could burst into tears. It's got worse since OH expressed that he really wanted children too. The only thing that is stopping us is the financial side so we're really working on that so we can throw the birth control pills away and jump into bed, lol.

I completely know how you feel! No matter how hard you try, you can't stop thinking about it. It's our natural instincts kicking in.

 

[phoenixm]

I just don't understand why he is so set against it. He says he wants kids, just not yet. I've heard the excuses about wanting to "live a little" first but it just doesn't register. I am being completely irrational but I just can't help it. I want to be a Mum so much.

 

[HelpConfused]

You sound just like me! Realistically, my bf isn't going to go one more lads holiday - they are all in relationships and have children already! Ideally I would like to get married etc first but with that exception i don't see what is stopping us? we are not going to leave everything and travel the world and live a bit - we've too many commitments! I hate the thoughts that go through my mind about stopping the pill without telling him, but the feeling just doesn't go away!

 

[phoenixm]

It's so good to talk to someone who understands. Our friends are married or hooked up in committed relationships. Some are arranging their TTC dates already. We have discussed trying next year, but in my heart I just don't trust that he won't change his mind by then. We aren't travelling anywhere either, we've both got jobs and are living together; committments like you say. I'd be quite happy with a NTNP compromise but he sees that as actively trying for a baby. I don't want to hate him cos I know its not his fault, but I want a baby so much it hurts inside. I can't think of anything to compare it to so that he really understands the longing I have.