Irrational thoughts?

[Brambletess]

MY DH told me just as i was going off to sleep that his friends wife has just had a BFP after their first go on IVF. I expected to feel elated for them as they have had a difficult journey going down the donor sperm route and some failed IUI's first but i found myself feeling sad and emotional and couldn't sleep for hours. I know it sounds nuts but I feel like as it has happened for them it won't for me (I found out recently i can only conceive through IVF as my tubes are blocked). There is a one in three chance and they are the one in three...I won't be. Its so irrational and i know that it should give me hope but for some strange reason it doesn't. I don't know if i can face a negative IVF on top of the two and a half years of negative results each month. I will still go for it though.

Maybe its just a rubbish day.

 

[fairy1984]

I can see your logic for thinking this way but ultimatly you know that the chances are the same regardless of what has happened with your friends.

I think TTC takes its toll on our emotions and makes us think these things

all the luck in the world for your IVF and FX you are the 1 in 3 in your first attempt

 

[Nathyrra]

oh chick

I understand what you mean, I think it's completely natural to feel like this. The longer we stay on this journey, and the more desperate for some type of good news-everything gets on top of you. Everything can be perceived as a potentual threat to our own success!

I know myself, just finishing my Clomid cycles with no effect, and hearing the success stories on it, and feeling like I'm the % statistic that it just doesn't work for makes me feel like crap. Make's me feel like a failure too. so all I can say chick is that you aren't alone.

 

[Trying4ever]

Aww bless. Dont beat yourself up over it. I know exactly how you feel though. When I first started on this TTC road, after a year of trying my SIL told me she was expecting after trying first time. I couldnt stop crying I was sooo depressed. It still makes me feel shit when I think about it. But I pray it passes for you and you just concentrate on yourself from now on. Big HUGS xx (My laptop wont let me use the fancy icons)

 

[chefamy1122]

I think we all have thoughts like this sometimes.

 

[Mynxie]

Sweetie, it sounds like you really are happy for them, but you're scared for you and your OH - which is totally natural!

The 1 in 3 thing doesn't mean that it won't happen for you too huni

Thinking of you xx

 

[Brambletess]

Thank you lovely girls.

I am over the 1 in 3 thing now. I think we all have those days. I am now very happy for our friends and not toooo jealous now, they are one of us anyway -and now a success story. I think I am going to talk to my DH this weekend about adopting if we are unsuccessful. I have to have long term plans. I don't want to feel like that is it if the IVF fails. I am not a see what happens sort of person, I have a strong element of control freak in me

I am also going to apply for a new job I have seen. I can't put my life on hold anymore. I have wanted a new job for ages but have put it off as expecting to get pregnant any minute. The IVF journey may well take months, years even so need to get on with life.

 

[Aria]

Try being in the boat where you were positive the first time, lost them, and now thinking that cycle 2 won't work because you used up your one in three.