Is a curfew really too strict??

[seoj]

NO! lol- seriously though, kids need boundaries and rules- if not, they would run rampid all over doing god knows what with god knows who?! Of course they don't WANT rules- but they do need them, and, on a certain level- it's how they know you care. It may seem fun at first- but if we just let them do whatever they wanted, in time they would not feel loved. My SD (who's also 16) is very respectful of me and her Dad- we have her full time. And we have always had stricter rules that most of her friends - although not as much as some. She earns that level of trust through her actions and behavior. It is EARNED though- not just given. We show her respect- and we can talk through certain situtations and come to a compromise... but, overall, we set the rules and she follows them. We are raising a productive member of society here- lol- and I want her to go out in the world one day self assured and strong- but caring of others and herself.

Don't get me wrong- there have been times (over the years) she pushed hard to get her way-- that is usually when we cracked down more. I tell her she is like a balloon- if we just let all the air out at once, she'll go spittering all over... but if we let it out a little at a time (give a little more and more etc... as earned)- then she will be more even

 

[wamommy]

Well said, Seoj! I couldn't have put it better myself

 

[SerenityNow]

I don't think your rules are too strict at all. However, teens are so inclined toward feeling that their parents are unfair I think framing it in a way other that "7 pm curfew" would probably be better. Maybe give her a choice between doing homework first and staying out until 9 or coming home at dinner and doing homework in the evening.