Is anyone even going to care?

[babycrazy11]

Hey ladies... DH and I have been ttc for just a few about 21-22 months now... Almost at the two year mark in may. This is a big month for us as we have our first FS appointment which we have been waiting for since August, ugh. Lately I have been a little down because through all this it's no secret among my family that is have had a very difficult time. Dealing with sister and SIL having three babies between the two of them I feel like I've been robbed of this whole experience. Such an exciting part of all this was being able to tell my parents and my sister that I am pregnant (whenever it happens) and now I feel like they won't care. There were issues when my sister got pregnant, I just needed time to deal with it but it was blown way out of proportion. I no longer even want to tell my sister when I d become pregnant and I am starting to feel like I don't about telling my parents either. I feel like they are all just going to be relieved because now I won't be depressed, they won't have to watch everything they say and so on.... The excitement is gone. I still am so excited for DH and me but feel like part of the whole experience is now tainted.

Is this terribly stupid or have any of you have these feelings? I wish I could go back to a time when no one knew... It got to a point where it felt good to get it off my chest so I spoke about it a little more freely... Now seems it was a huge mistake.

 

[ilovegoob]

I feel like people wont care either. Im 33 this year, my sis has two kids already (younger than me) and my brother may get married this year. I feel like the excitement of me being pregnant has worn off before it even happens.

 

[xxshellsxx]

You might be surprised by how much they actually want this for you too x

My mum never really talks about it unless i bring it up, she knows what i'm going through, she's been supportive, she's said some things that made it worse (without realising - she was trying to be comforting). But i KNOW that despite having 2 grandsons and 4 step grandchildren.... If and when i finally have one she is going to be more excited than with any of the others. She has already bought the wool for a shawl... She wants this just as much as i do x

 

[Molae06]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I can't speak for your family but at the same time as maybe feeling relieved, probably more so for you than for themselves, they might suprise you and be genuinely estatic.

Although you might feel like a pregnancy on your part would just come as a huge relief to them, they might not feel it that way.

Not knowing your family I can't speak for them, but as for parents I hope they would be excited and estatic for your family. As for siblings go, I don't really even feel like telling my sister either...although I know when the time comes I wont be able to keep the news in, but there has been a lot of sibling rivalry between me and my sister. She is ALWAYS trying to one up me, and I guess I do it to her, but not on purpose. Our lives have led different dirctions, but still. I remember and will ALWAYS remember on my wedding day that my sister announced to my mom that she was pregnant with my neice. Could have killed her. (DH and I had already been trying for sometime so I was depressed all day/night).

Best of luck, I hope you are blown away (in a good way) by your familys reactions when the time comes. And if not, I know you and your dh will have enough excitement for the two of you and both sides of your family combined.

 

[babycrazy11]

Wow, thanks ladies. Great responses And deep down I know you are all right. Just extra sensitive right now. My sister just had a baby and my parents are visiting her. Because of the huge time difference, skyping has been a nuisance but truth be told... I am holding back a little because my mother keeps putting the camera on the baby for the entire conversation! I love my new niece and want to see her but need them to still be sensitive to my situation and not make me stare at her while telling me what they did all day. I got called out on the lack of skyping today and tried to just say I have been busy. Kinda believe my sister is just pissed because she had a new baby and I am not taking every chance I can to see her. I can only imagine what she is saying to my parents. Guess if this hadn't happened I wouldn't be feeling so bad. Just seems like everything gets blown up and no one is sensitive to what I am going through.
I just vented again didn't I? Sorry guys... Your responses really did help me, thanks.

 

[blackclayrose]

i am in a similar situation. In April will will be entering 2 years of TTC. My younger brother announced at start of February his GF of 8 months was 5-6 weeks pregnant and my OH sister is in due with no.2 in April. While i am extremly happy for them and I will love both baby with every bit of my heart, i am also extremly devestated for OH and myself.

I had a bit of a breakdown when i heard about my brothers news and now everytime I am feeling down about anything (not even TTC or their pregnancy), I am told why arent you happy for them or whats your problem with us. So I have decided when I am pregnant I am only telling OH Mum, Dad and my older brother (the only family of mine I can talk to this about) and everyone else can find out when I can not hide it any more.

I am heartbroken because it has been so hard for us (never had to POAS) and my brothers GF & OH Sister fell pregnant with out any struggles.

But I do believe OH and I will receive our little blessing and our baby with loved and treasured.

 

[babycrazy11]

Wow, Blackclayrose... Sorry to hear about your situation. It definatly does sound familiar. If our families could just step back from their own lives long enough to try and understand our feelings things would so much easier. We have enough stress without the added pressure of "faking it" everywhere we go. Let us have our space when we need it without taking away the care and concern. Family? Uh.

 

[CaliDreaming]

babycrazy,

I actually think your experience is going to cause your parents to be even more excited about your future pregnancy than they would have been if you had gotten pregnant easily. Most people take for granted that they can get pregnant whenever they want, so when someone has to struggle for it, I find that people are genuinely over-the top happy for that person.

Babies born to women with IF issues are some of the luckiest children in the world. All mothers love their babies, but women who have had to struggle to bring them in the world truly cherish their children in a way that other people don't. I don't mean to diminish the love that fertile women have for their children, but when you've been through IF you take nothing for granted. Everyone loves a happy story so when people know of your struggles, they are going to bend over backwards to show you how happy they are for you.

 

[rainski]

I understand. We've only been trying a year.. But my fiance is the youngest of 5.. And since then his older sister had her fourth, and other sister found out she is pregnant with her second. I just don't feel like anyone will care, and I have even told him, I will most likely not tell your parents, because I feel like their reactions will just be upsetting.