Is anyone having their first baby but it's their partners second?

[Mummy_to_be87]

I totally agree...I dont like her one bit, she looks the spit image of my ex's new woman, maybe thats why I dislike her so much You will start to feel better real soon, I was about 14 weeks before I felt normal again

 

[Reno]

The title of the thread caught my eye! Sorry to hear you ladies have such a tough time with your OH LO's, and indeed your OH's! My DH's daughter is 3, but she is a real cutie! Before we started dating he told me that his daughter was the most important thing in the world to him and he wanted someone who would be a part of it! so I knew how involved she would be in our relationship and I knew what I was getting in to!

I was concerned at first, that it might be a constant comparison, so I chose a different hospital to where his DD was born, even though it is a bit further away, but so it would be new to him too!

I am glad he has got a bit of previous experience as I have no clue about baby items, and he knows all the stuff we need to get! he never mentions his ex like one of you said, that would make me really upset if I felt I had to prove I was better all the time!

When all is said and done though I hope we can have a son, even though I have a strong suspicion this LO is a girl, I know he would love a son! so that will hopefully be a new experience for him too!

I'm sure it's really hard to feel compared all the time, ask you OH's not to mention their ex's as any comments aren't relevant!

Haven't really got any advice but wishing a happy and healthy pregnancy to you both!

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

Thank you for your positive experience with your OH LO, I have considered going to another hospital but in the end the closest one is the same hospital my OH ex went to, I have got over that now. I just hope I will feel differently when I become a mother and realise how strong the bond between a parent and child is, it might make me understand my OH situation a little bit better, also I have never met his child, I am not involved in her life at all so when my OH goes to the centre to see her with his mum I feel really excluded and it makes the experience harder to deal with.

I hope you have a good pregnancy and enjoy your little bundle

 

[whyjobya]

I just wish he would give her up for me and this baby but I know that would never happen grrr!!

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

I just wish he would give her up for me and this baby but I know that would never happen grrr!!

I understand totally how you feel, I have found myself crying every fortnight when he leaves me to go and see his daughter and I have considered leaving him on more than one occasion, I just want him to realise that Im having a baby with him and we will be a family and he wont need her, I think my OH has caught on that I dont like her as he tries saying that Im having his number 1 baby....BUT IM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrr it sooooooooo annoys me!!!

what age is the baby in your case?

 

[jambermush]

I know exactly where you are all coming from!

I have recently split from my baby's father partly due to his constant comparing me to his ex's (he has 2 daughters by 2 different women)

First time he compared me was when I was struggling loads with ms and fatigue, and not really being able to do much, he says "Tracy was still laying paving slabs up to a week before giving birth" well good for her, but other than that being really dangerous and irresponsible in my eyes, every pregnancy is different!

I always REALLY made the effort with his Daughters, and to be fair one is fantastic. The other really got on well with me, and I faked it with her, but she is a real little brat. Nearly 3, always gets her own way, is VERY rude, swears, bites, really nice.

I even made the effort to get on with his ex's - even after one sent me constant death threats for the 1st 4 months we were together.

Finally finished with FOB after it turned out he was still allowing his ex access to his bank accounts and paying her phone bills, ringing and texting her constantly, to the point that she actually sent me a message on facebook asking me to get him to leave her alone!

Didn't help that 4 months into our relationship, I found out he had been ringing etc begging for her back (he left her for me) and then tried making out it was all a ruse so as he could carry on seeing his daughter!

So much better off without him!

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

I know exactly where you are all coming from!

I have recently split from my baby's father partly due to his constant comparing me to his ex's (he has 2 daughters by 2 different women)

First time he compared me was when I was struggling loads with ms and fatigue, and not really being able to do much, he says "Tracy was still laying paving slabs up to a week before giving birth" well good for her, but other than that being really dangerous and irresponsible in my eyes, every pregnancy is different!

I always REALLY made the effort with his Daughters, and to be fair one is fantastic. The other really got on well with me, and I faked it with her, but she is a real little brat. Nearly 3, always gets her own way, is VERY rude, swears, bites, really nice.

I even made the effort to get on with his ex's - even after one sent me constant death threats for the 1st 4 months we were together.

Finally finished with FOB after it turned out he was still allowing his ex access to his bank accounts and paying her phone bills, ringing and texting her constantly, to the point that she actually sent me a message on facebook asking me to get him to leave her alone!

Didn't help that 4 months into our relationship, I found out he had been ringing etc begging for her back (he left her for me) and then tried making out it was all a ruse so as he could carry on seeing his daughter!

So much better off without him!

It seems that you are soo much better off without him, you dont need to be going through that nonsense when you are having your LO, I found myself so stressed out this pregnancy completely worried Id have a c-section like his ex did! We dont care about what they did!! Your ex had no right to be ringing and texting her behind your back, thats disgusting, im sure if he wanted to see his daughter there is ways and means! My OH goes to see his this saturday and im in early labour, I wonder who will get priority!!

I will always be here to talk to, I know how it feels and I wont judge you in any way, I feel for you! I always want to leave my OH

 

[jambermush]

I know exactly where you are all coming from!

I have recently split from my baby's father partly due to his constant comparing me to his ex's (he has 2 daughters by 2 different women)

First time he compared me was when I was struggling loads with ms and fatigue, and not really being able to do much, he says "Tracy was still laying paving slabs up to a week before giving birth" well good for her, but other than that being really dangerous and irresponsible in my eyes, every pregnancy is different!

I always REALLY made the effort with his Daughters, and to be fair one is fantastic. The other really got on well with me, and I faked it with her, but she is a real little brat. Nearly 3, always gets her own way, is VERY rude, swears, bites, really nice.

I even made the effort to get on with his ex's - even after one sent me constant death threats for the 1st 4 months we were together.

Finally finished with FOB after it turned out he was still allowing his ex access to his bank accounts and paying her phone bills, ringing and texting her constantly, to the point that she actually sent me a message on facebook asking me to get him to leave her alone!

Didn't help that 4 months into our relationship, I found out he had been ringing etc begging for her back (he left her for me) and then tried making out it was all a ruse so as he could carry on seeing his daughter!

So much better off without him!

It seems that you are soo much better off without him, you dont need to be going through that nonsense when you are having your LO, I found myself so stressed out this pregnancy completely worried Id have a c-section like his ex did! We dont care about what they did!! Your ex had no right to be ringing and texting her behind your back, thats disgusting, im sure if he wanted to see his daughter there is ways and means! My OH goes to see his this saturday and im in early labour, I wonder who will get priority!!

I will always be here to talk to, I know how it feels and I wont judge you in any way, I feel for you! I always want to leave my OH

Bless you I really appreciate you being there. The nightmare is, really, that he still wants me back after all of this! To the extent that I had to get the police involved after he wouldn't leave my parents alone (I already had to change my mobile number)

The latest was a text to my Mum yesterday as it was his Birthday, saying "Did I really mean that little to her that she doesn't even say Happy Birthday to me?" REALLY, like I'M the one to blame for all of this!