Is childbirth THAT bad?

[solitaire89]

I dont hold out hope for finding help here, or the money for it. They kinda ignore all your birth plan here and even laughed at my last one, 2cm dilated and I was in agony. I defo need some form of pain management that wont be spinals again.

your doula WILL help you. And as for your birth plan, that's part of your doulas job, to ensure that your plan is taken seriously. It may be worth you doing a hypnosis release session if they were so unhelpful last time. The fact that they laughed at you would have done nothing to relax you, which would have made you tense, and therefore contribute to your experience being painful. If money is seriously tight I know that natal hypnotherapy used to take used cds back to give to women who are in financial difficulty, but you'll have to contact them direct to find out if that scheme still exists and how to access it.
HTH a bit

 

[Dragonfly]

I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.

 

[solitaire89]

I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.

do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too

 

[meandu]

No it's not that bad but I was lucky & had no stitches both times. Just when I thought I couldn't cope on just gas & air both times, I got the urge to push and lo was here. I was induced by drip with 1 & had waters popped with 2

 

[NaturalMomma]

Not for me. Childbirth was not the most painful thing in the world, and for 98% of labor it wasn't more than menstrual cramp feeling. Only transition for me was intense, not really painful though, but intense. Transition is at the end and can last anywhere from a few minutes to around 2 hours. Pushing didn't hurt either, and I had no ring of fire. I also went unmedicated, so I felt everything, and I'm looking forward to another unmedicated birth.

 

[Dragonfly]

I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.

do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too

Where can I do it myself and what do I need? after the two horrid births I have I have some fear. And I would like to experience this nice birth I hear about.

 

[solitaire89]

I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.

do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too

Where can I do it myself and what do I need? after the two horrid births I have I have some fear. And I would like to experience this nice birth I hear about.

*runs off to find the thread where she posted instructions for a fear release session... Back in a mo...*

 

[Indi84]

For me it was agony, and u have a very high pain threshold, I didn't take any pain relief because I'm stubbon, but I cried and cried lol.
Still ten weeks later I don't sit around thinking of the pain, I hold my little boy tight! I went in with a positive attitude and even though my birth plan went tits up, nothing like I wanted, I look back fondly, have made it into a funny story to tell my friends. No point worrying!

 

[henrysmumkaz]

Yes.

You don't really forget it but it sort of fades into insignificance not long afterwards. Few weeks later and I would've been happy to do it all over again.

 

[Numero_uno]

It is very painful, I was induced with the hormone drip, which was VERY intense but survived with a dose of diamorphine, couldn't get my head round gas and air as made me feel sick, so at the end when diamorphine wore off i did it with nothing, as time goes on you do forget about the pain though!

 

[Seity]

Yes, it was absolute agony with no breaks at all between contractions. I decided f' it and asked for the drugs. I got the intrathecal and then labor was great! Would never consider natural after how brilliant the drugs worked.
I've had a kidney stone and I honestly can say that labor was on par with that, just different.
I don't understand how anyone can forget the pain.

 

[solitaire89]

I looked it up in my area and one is a chinese man who is to dear and far away from me as I contacted him about other stuff a while ago and the other is a man I know his son and do not want to come in contact with him. I will ask my doula, I did ask her on my choices and she said they have a birthing pool now in hospital. I will be using her to speak up for me as some rude stuff was said to me in labour.

do you mean the blokes are the hypnotherapists? You don't need a hypnotherapist to do a fear release session. You can do it yourself and it sounds like your doula has her head screwed on properly and will support you fully in labour, so that's positive too

Where can I do it myself and what do I need? after the two horrid births I have I have some fear. And I would like to experience this nice birth I hear about.

*runs off to find the thread where she posted instructions for a fear release session... Back in a mo...*

Ok - sorry it took so long, had to eat in the middle of the search

Linkey here to the idea of whats involved with a fear release session. I am aware that it talks about putting yourself into a relaxed/hypnotic state, which if you've not done it before, can come across as a little daunting. its not! First, (after making sure telephone is off and you're not going to be disturbed, and getting comfy!) concentrate all of your attention on your breathing, then, after a little while, move from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, relaxing every little muscle in your body in turn. When you've done this, then imagine you are walking somewhere peaceful that reminds you of calm, so a forest/mountain/beach etc. Let your mind really create the scene, with smells, touch, taste etc, and make it as rich as you can. Then go for the fear release as described above. When you're done, let yourself slowly come back to, counting from 1 to 5 often helps to come back slowly. If you've not done this before, it can take a few times practice to get the relaxation down, so don't panic if you just sit/lie there thinking about all the jobs that aren't getting done!

HTH

 

[jozylynn896]

Thanks ladies!
I plan on having a completely natural birth withno epidural. But I may have to be induced.

 

[amjon]

Certainly FAR from the most painful thing I've ever had. I had NO idea I was even in active labor (and I don't think the nurse did either). It was a bit uncomfortable and tiring, but not really all that painful. (Toothaches are WAY worse than anything I had in labor.) (And I was induced which is supposed to be "worse".)

 

[leelee]

Yes - it is extremely painful but it depends on the labour as to whether it is manageable or not.

I had no break in contractions for my first labour, so couldn't manage without pain relief at the end. For my 2nd labour although it was long enough (9 hours from 5cm-10cm) I had a break in contractions and could manage the pain.

I am with solitaire. Hypnobirthing is amazing!

Dragonfly - your Doula should be able to recommend some hypnobirthing classes nearby.

With both my labours the midwife only really got involved every few hours to check me, so your Doula can ensure that happens. Both read my birth plans and went with what I wanted. Your Doula will advocate for you.

 

[summer rain]

For me it wasn't the pain but the crushing pressure which was the worst, when it came to the actual pain I have had worst from constipation but the feeling you're going to either be crushed or torn in two is pretty bad, not completely unbearable and unmanageable though and I've never felt the need to go for anything stronger than gas and air xx

 

[Leids]

I so wish we had gas and air in the US.

It depends on the person I think. My broken foot hurt worse than labor, but labor was much more drawn out and longer obviously as with my foot all I had to do was not stand on it. At 5cm (after they started pitocin and broke my water) I requested an epidural. It was great, but honestly the epidural really hurt for me where it doesn't for many others.

When I was 9cm they turned off my epidural, and it was about an hour from then until I delivered. The pain was pretty agonizing, but I got through it and that's all that counts. The delivery was relief for me, I would rather be pushing than not because pushing through contractions made me feel better. I delivered him in 9 minutes with a 2nd degree tear, and never felt crowning - he came out head and body in all with one huge push.

I would do it again with no problems, but while you're in the moment it's really like 'eff my life' - it passes. I don't forget the pain, but I do know I felt 110% better after he was delivered!

I know others that have had a more difficult time, and that's understandable. Not only does pain tolerance vary, but our sizes vary - our bone structure, the birth canal, our bodies in general. Some may be better built for child birth, but you can never really tell. Our bodies can react differently to labor, which can make it easier or harder. I don't think any woman labors the same as another, and I think it varies between babies too!

 

[Babybonn]

Best way i can describe my labour contraction pains?...it felt like a table vice was cracking apart my pelvic area inch by inch... it hurt so bad!!!

After 48 hours of this, I asked for epidural and it worked.

But later, the pushing phase was beyond agony, again. What happened? i needed stronger pain meds dosage for what it turned out was a torn cervix and placenta splitting into 2 pieces due to 'low-lying placenta'. I seriously thought 'I am gonna go into shock right now and DIE.' No joke!!!

Then, pushing the baby out was super quick, only a few minutes. After 3 days of labor, that was the easy part!

Endorphins kicked in big time when baby was finally out. That was fantastic feeling.

 

[mamaxo]

I have no experience. I am scared. I get anxiety easily so I know it will be hard for me to relax. I just hope when I get into the situation, it just goes the way it is planned!

 

[solitaire89]

I have no experience. I am scared. I get anxiety easily so I know it will be hard for me to relax. I just hope when I get into the situation, it just goes the way it is planned!

please don't be scared. There are things that you can do to help keep yourself relaxed, like the natal hypnotherapy I mentioned above. I've said it before, and no doubt will say it again, I was so scared about labour and birth that I sat in my doctors surgery and cried my eyes out... And this was before even ttc!
Look into the positive things that YOU can do to help your labour go smoothly, like keeping upright, moving about, making sure you get decent energy on board, it will help you to take ownership of your experience, rather than being a passive observer of what is happening to your body. This should help you to relax a little. And, hard as it sounds, try to avoid the horror stories about birth if you know you suffer from anxiety. Just load yourself up with the positives
HTH