Is childbirth THAT bad?

[mamaxo]

I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts!

 

[solitaire89]

I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts!

Psssttt... Don't TRY to think positive thoughts, practice thinking positive thoughts . You'll be amazed how quickly you pick it up, and it will become second nature.

 

[mamaxo]

I need you here during my labor! Lmao Talk me through it!

 

[solitaire89]

I need you here during my labor! Lmao Talk me through it!

Haha - would love to, but its a little far for me to travel And, just so you're aware, that has just made me snort gin martini all over my laptop!

 

[mamaxo]

Lol Glad to have made you snort gin martini all over the place !

 

[solitaire89]

Lol Glad to have made you snort gin martini all over the place !

I'm not, its a waste of good gin!

Enough of the hijacking of the thread with spilt gin... If you need more positive thinking, feel free to shout me

 

[Dtswife]

I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin has tons of amazing, POSITIVE birth stories complete with how they got through it and how they faced and defeated their fears. It's AWESOME!

I love Ina May.

 

[lizardbreath]

Can no longer have posts here

 

[jozylynn896]

I'm going to be induced most likely, so it makes me extra nervous!

 

[XJessicaX]

My second labour was really easy, barely painful at all until 30 minutes before I needed to push. The PAIN that kicks in is nothing like you can prepare for. Its just such a concentrated pain in one tiny area. Each contraction makes you slightly delirious, body shakes under the force of them, you cant focus on anything except you want it to stop, that you are not sure how you will cope with the next one but you know you are close to meeting your baby. A few seconds of complete relief in-between contractions and your heart is pounding and you try desperately to calm yourself with deep breathing because its remarkably difficult to breathe when in pain! My instinct is to hold my breath!
I was pretty quiet for all of my labour. Some of that was pride though...I am sure that if in a sound proofed room or in the middle of a jungle I would have probably screamed every last breath out of my lungs!
Pushing is something I hadnt had any experience of. My first labour I was numbed and my daughter was suckered out of me. 2nd delivery I was using nothing but my TENS machine and baby was in the perfect position for delivery. I found pushing to be scary, I was completely out of control. Granted my 2nd stage was recorded as 2 minutes but those 2 minutes seemed a lot longer! Whole body takes over, you have NO control over it. I made a weird guttural noise that I hadnt consciously made, I think it was from the all the air out of my lungs being forced out by every muscle in my body tensing. Its a bizarre sensation! Didnt have much in the way of crowing sensation though.

To adequately explain the pain childbirth inflicts on a mother....one of my friends did her labour and delivery on G&A, she suffered a 4th degree tear whilst pushing. So her perineum ripped through entirely to her rectum. She said she didn't notice it specifically!

 

[greenpear]

uuuhhhh yeah - it's painful as hell but nothing you can't survive otherwise we'd be dead long time ago I had drug free natural birth and it was no picnic (i had 2nd degree tears too because LO was coming out so fast) but I'm not scared of doing it again.

One word of advice - have a bucket ready nearby. I was puking everywhere. It was pretty gross

xJessicax - I admire you for being quiet. I screamed like someone was murdering me! I don't remember much of it though because by the end of it I was just so numb from pain my brain went kinda fuzzy

 

[mamaxo]

I really appreciate it, solitaire! I'm going to try my hardest to think positive thoughts!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin has tons of amazing, POSITIVE birth stories complete with how they got through it and how they faced and defeated their fears. It's AWESOME!

I love Ina May.

Thank you so much. I am looking into it right now!

 

[londonangel]

I think it depends! I found it very painful but the worst thing wasn't the pain itself, it was that not knowing how long I was going to be in pain for. I remember pretty much arguing with the midwife as when she said 'you're probably 10cm dilated' I replied something along the lines of 'but the other midwife said that if I dilated half a cm in an hour then they'd think that was good and as I started at 3cm when they broke my waters I've still got about two hours to go!' I had an epidural because I had to have a syntocinon drip (baby 12 days overdue) and was told they didn't think I'd cope with the pain of suddenly having full on contractions but by the time I was 10cm the epidural didn't seem to be working and it really hurt! That said, it hasn't put me off having another one if we are able to and can afford it one day. The worst thing for me was having a retained placenta - I won't tell you about how they tried to remove it before taking me to theatre over three hours later. That was the WORST bit!

 

[jozylynn896]

Ouch!
I hope my labor goes well!

 

[andyjewell]

it hurts alot for me. ALOT. i sobbed through my last birth. although i am planning my 3rd drug free birth i had a epi the first time and didn't like it so i'd rather have a few hours of pain and be up and about right after giving birth

 

[hanelei]

I was actually in more pain after the birth than during it- and I had no epidural, no gas and air, nothing. My LO got a bit stuck so after pushing for 4 hours I had a triple episiotomy and a ventouse extraction, and for me the most painful thing was being sewn back up and then trying to move around the first two days or so after LO was born.

I didn't find the contractions that painful at any point to be honest, like really bad period cramps at their worst, but I have a background in yoga and meditation so found I was able to relax through contractions quite easily. Unfortunately things got a bit derailed with LO getting stuck and I was exhausted after hours of pushing so don't remember much about LO coming out other than the crowning which was definitely painful!

Hoping not to have to push for so long next time, and not to need the ventouse or such an extreme episiotomy, I'm sure the recovery would be a lot easier without so many stitches!

 

[ParisJeTadore]

Well...If you labour for 36 hours with only back labour and no drugs then, yes it is the most unbearably painful thing I have ever experienced and I definitely wish not to repeat it. Personally I think I did fantastically well up until 8 cm when things kicked into high gear. Getting close to transition felt like hot searing knives in my tailbone while a car tried to come out my rear

 

[Stellae]

Delivery is rough, but you know it's going to end with something wonderful. Honestly the worst part is the recovery!

 

[Feronia]

Everyone is going to experience pain differently, and I truly believe that your state of mind heavily influences your experience. If you go into labour with fear and the expectation that labour will be incredibly painful, then you're probably going to experience it that way. Pop culture portrays labour and birth as THE most painful experience of a woman's life, so it's no surprise that so many people are afraid of it.

I spent some time prior to my birth rewiring my expectations of labour and birth. I started thinking of it as natural and not necessarily painful; any pain you experience from labour itself is for a purpose, it doesn't mean something is wrong with your body like if you broke your leg. I also practised a bit of hypnobirthing beforehand for the relaxation.

I had a completely unmedicated birth 3 weeks ago and it honestly wasn't very painful to me (and I was in labour for 56 hours). Staying calm and not screaming helped; there were times I could have given in to the sensations and I KNEW it would make them worse, but being calm and breathing through them helped tremendously! I don't know what transition is, but I don't think I experienced it. I also didn't feel a 'ring of fire' or anything like that, and pushing wasn't painful at all, just exhausting. I didn't tear at all so I was back on my feet right away.

Besides being calm, breathing, and not expecting terrible pain, the other things that helped were being able to change my position whenever I wanted and labouring in a comfortable place for me (at home). At least for me, setting made a huge amount of difference, and I bet I would have experienced pain differently in a hospital since I'm not comfortable in hospitals. (If you are, then it probably won't affect you.)

Best of luck -- you can totally do it!

 

[fides]

I mean I know its no walk in the park, but everytime I hear about it its described as the most painful experience in the whole world. As an unbearable pain?
Any opinions?

for me, yes, it was - mostly the ring of fire and nearing the end that felt unbearable, but you don't have a choice - you do bear it! it is manageable to begin with, and you know there is an end in sight, so once it is over, there is tremendous relief.

a lot of women don't think of it as unbearable, though, and describe it as intense pressure - wasn't that way for me, but hopefully will be fore you.

I used to find it hard to believe that you could forget about the pain of birth after but it is so true

ha ha - i remember saying for weeks, they're liars! i haven't forgotten any of the pain!