is depression the reason I dunno what I want

[Melissa93]

Hi i broke up with my partner of 18 months on 30th of January after he squared up to me in an argument screaming in my face in front of my 2 year old and again when I was holding her, I ended up lockin myself and my daughter in bathroom rang my mom in tears she could hear him shouting and banging on door and my step dad rang police, he left before they got there and when I came out bathroom found he punched a hole in the bathroom door and another in the kitchen door, he was arrested and been charged for criminal damage which he has denied so its going to court 6th may and I have to give evidence, he has bail conditions not to contact me or come to my house which he broke a couple weeks ago I opened my door one night thinking it was friend to find him and I couldnt get door shut, luckily after few minute's when I was in tears freakin out my daughter had been woken his friend appeared and dragged him away, hes also wrote things on fb and twitter about me saying im a slag, a cheat, sleeping with everyone in town I live, even to point of textin my friend askin was I good, its all complete rubbish im not like that and never cheated on anyone, but yeah since all this I have really bad anxiety ive had couple panic attacks and really fed up lost all motivation dont want to get out of bed im going to college but dont want to be there anymore. I went doctors Thursday and been put on antidepressants she said I scored high on their chart aswell, just wondering is this the reason my head feels so mashed atm, one min I wanna give up college focus on me and my daughter get driving and get a job, next im considering giving things another go with her dad (not the ex who was arrested) and wanting another baby, then im thinking need to be on my own going to get on with college and carry on next year, I really dont know what I want feel like im losing the plot, sorry for the long post

 

[Tasha]

it could be the depression but it sounds more like you have been through a massively traumatic time and your head is all over the place.

Dont make any huge decisions right now, as you may regret them.

Is the doctor going to get you some counselling?

 

[Melissa93]

Yeah tryin to avoid making any big decisions as head is all over the place atm, saw the advance nurse practitioner she just gave me prescription for antidepressants and said to come back in couple weeks

 

[supertabby]

The reason I quit college at 19 years old was because I was depressed. I'm 37 now and I still regret it.

Depression can make you run away from things, it can also mess with your life decisions. During my depression I would go from feeling totally apathetic about everything to the point of being near suicidal, to making big plans to change my life (which I never acted on, it was always big ideas that I gave up on).

I would say wait until your tablets kick in and you start feeling more grounded and yourself. Don't make any major decisions in the meantime and don't throw away your education. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Yo_Yo]

it could be the depression but it sounds more like you have been through a massively traumatic time and your head is all over the place.

Dont make any huge decisions right now, as you may regret them.

Is the doctor going to get you some counselling?

This. Don't make any big decisions right now lovely. Your head is quite understandably all over the place. Your a bit emotionally vulnerable right now. I wouldn't say it's the depression necessarily, just overload of stress and upset. I think your reaction is normal.
So sorry about the nasty behaviour of your ex. He sounds horrible and your well rid of him.

 

[Melissa93]

Thanks, im trying to stick with college but finding it so hard atm I think ppl think I just cba but its not that, yeah he is scum really shown his true colours thinks hes a big man squaring up to a woman who had kidney removed 2 months before so still recovering and while holding a 2 year old, I hate him for what hes done

 

[Melissa93]

Thanks, im trying to stick with college but finding it so hard atm I think ppl think I just cba but its not that, yeah he is scum really shown his true colours thinks hes a big man squaring up to a woman who had kidney removed 2 months before so still recovering and while holding a 2 year old, I hate him for what hes done