Is honestly and integrity important anymore?

[Eternal]

I was always raised to be honest in all my dealings and kind of always assumed everyone else was honest too. But it seems I am on my own in this, people lying seems part of normal day life, so many people say, oh say this or say that, or do this.

We had a car accident back in 2009, the guy hit us! he told the insurance company it was our fault, and changed his story 3 times surley that shows how dishonest he was, but No the accident went 50/50.

Then quite a few people when I was in first trimester would say, if you want an early scan then call EPU and say your bleeding to me its wrong, if something isnt true then you shouldnt say it or do it. As someone who has experinced bleeding and losses its terrible to think people might be doubting me.

Anyway, enough of me.

What do you think? Is honestly an old concept? Do you or would you lie? Do you think being dishonest is ok or ok in some circumstances? etc

 

[xemmax]

I agree with you, though I'm not sure it's a new thing. I'm sure people have always told what they consider to be 'white lies'.

I was brought up to believe that you can tempt fate, so I would never, ever, ever say that I was bleeding for an extra scan, or that Oli was ill if I didn't want to go somewhere, or that something terrible had happened if I needed an excuse not to be somewhere. I know that some people do this and while it doesn't directly hurt anyone, it's just poor taste in my opinion.

However in the case of lying to an insurance company, that's just immoral, and people (yourself - as you found out) do lose out from it. That is just wrong. As I said, I don't think it is a new thing, however with the amount of claims that there now are due to the fact we have become a society obsessed with compensation, I'm sure it is probably more frequent. Everyone feels like they are 'owed' something if anything happens which I believe is wrong, but I suppose that's another debate for another time!

 

[xAmberLFCx]

I agree with you hun!
As for some people saying 'if u want an early scan say ur bleeding' angers me! .. I dont get why people have to lie about that..when there are genuinly women who are having bleeds & are getting told they have to wait a few days before they can get a scan
xx

 

[Eternal]

I know, when I lost my baby all the EPUs expect one (which was way out of the area) had waiting lists for scans of 4 - 7 days!

After I got the scan I called the orginal EPU we had the appt with and cancelled the appt saying, we dont need the scan, we have lost the baby and Im having an D&C tomorrow, but i didnt want the appt to be wasted, they were shocked, she said no one ever does that, but thanks for letting them know so they can use my appt. lol!

So yeah it shocks me that someone would lie for an extra scan, i know we are all scared when we are pregnant and would love extra scans but to me its just wrong.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Some people just seem to have no conscience? The early scan thing is so horrible! I can't believe people would do that, how selfish!
I've told a few white lies but nothing major or that would hurt anyone, either emotionally, physically or financially.

 

[tallybee]

Unfortunately I am an old cynic and none of those things surprise me at all Too many people are just plain selfish... I agree Emma about the entitlement people seem to feel, like the world owes them everything. It's crap.

All we can do is bring up our children teaching them right from wrong, and feel satisfied that we are living our lives honestly. Those who bullshit their way through life may well just realise one day how much of a prat they've been and it'll be too late.

xx

 

[Blah11]

I tell some white lies (mainly to amelie bad mummy) but wouldnt do either of the things you mentioned. I have a friend at work who goes to asda and gets her LO clothes and scans one and misses one

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Yeah I know all sorts of scams people do with the self checkouts at supermarkets.....they think it doesn't hurt anyone, supermarkets are big greedy corporations blah blah blah but they make the prices higher for everyone else and possibly get employees into trouble...

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I do love seeing someone get caught bang to rights though....e.g fined for having no ticket on the train!

 

[vaniilla]

lying is one of the oldest art forms around, its probably older than telling the truth, I always try to tell the truth and if some reason I can't I prefer to say nothing at at ll or prove indifferent, with light hearted things like giving an opinion on a friends shirt then I might say its okay if I know they really like it but with serious things I would never do it because I know I wouldn't want someone to do it to me

 

[Eternal]

I tell some white lies (mainly to amelie bad mummy) but wouldnt do either of the things you mentioned. I have a friend at work who goes to asda and gets her LO clothes and scans one and misses one

LOL, I am sure Ill tell Sam some white lies when he is older, like Santa, lol, but even though some people would see that as being dishonest to kids, I dont really see it that way. Maybe im a hyprocite.

But If Sam asks me when he is 4 how babies are born or what makes a baby, I doubt Ill go into the whole birds and bees right there and then. Ill prob tell him to ask his dad though lol!

Someone else said about someone saying does this look nice, and i guess i try to be indifferent too, i would doubt i would say no, i would prob say "its not really my taste" or "its ok, i love that one though" or something else so im not directly saying, "no its horrible"

 

[smelly07]

i'm honest and i just cant lie,
i would feel too gulity, for example in town today my LO picked up a ribbon which you put on a gift it was 30p, i bought some bits and bobs walked out the shops and realised 5 mins later what she had in her hands, i had to take it back to the shop!!!!! well infact i bought it for her as she came attached to it


as for the scan thing i think thats disgusting

 

[Lightworker]

I think sadly that integrity and honesty mean very little these days. My DH and I were having this discussion a while back, about how it seems all the nasty people seem to get to the top, by telling lies, screwing people over etc. He has this saying "scum always rises to the top". I don't know why, but I think many people see this and also don't feel the need to act honestly, if being dishonest can bring so many rewards (on the surface at least)

For me, integrity is everything. I don't even allow myself to tell a white lie. I would rather suffer shame and embarassment, than tell a lie. I think if you permit white lies, then your capacity for telling lies grows and soon you will be telling bigger and bigger lies.

I do get tempted though, eg at theme parks, under 3s generally go free, I always want to say my DD1 is 3 but I never do, I think I am to sheepish and they will smell my lie a mile off lol. I do get why people lie, but it needs to be very justifiable. Some lies you DO HAVE TO TELL.

Raoul Wallenberg saved a ton of Jews from certain death in Nazi Germany simply by saying they were either non-Jews, foreigners, diplomats etc. That kind of lie, that is a lie that deserves even my respect.

 

[hb1]

I believe in honesty and integrity and try to live my life that way but I see people not doing so more frequently now and believe people "get away" with it more without negative moral judgement from their peers.

 

[thedog]

The odd white lie here and there i have done, but nothing serious iykwim? As for the 'early scan say you are bleeding' (with no problems) then i say they should fucking go private if they want an early scan!!!

 

[lynnikins]

i was brought up not to lie, and to always act with integrity and my children will get taught the same, i think partly it has to do with my faith based upbringing but it jsut winds me up when ppl lie to get their own way

 

[Eternal]

I totally agree, i would hate for anyone to consider me dishonest, and my mum always makes comments to me about being two faced, she says if you dont like someone or someone does something to you, you should be extra nice ... I just cant, I cant be false, or lie or anything.

I probably the biggest lie Ive told is to my mum and it was when i was living in scotland, my nana had her 60th wedding anniversary and we said we couldnt go (which was true then) and i was pregnant too so no chance we would be going. Then we discovered OH actually had a long weekend off, we even looked at going to a hotel as it would be our last chance before baby was born, but in the end decided to go to Wales, but didnt tell anyone.

LOL, i even called my mum loads during the day to say, oh were out shopping, or doing this, my husband was shcoked at how well i managed to lie, all the way there lol! We pulled into her drive and she was so shocked, burst into tears etc (it was 530 mile one way trip).

So it was a nice lie, lol, but a lie none the less lol!


So what about Santa, anyone NOT telling their kids there isnt a Santa? Anyone telling their children the truth?

 

[Lightworker]

man, I battled with the Santa thing. I was strongly opposed to lying to her. But at school, everywhere, Santa was in your face. I admit I just caved. So I told her Santa is this nice guy that loves children and loves giving them gifts. I didnt tell her he comes down chimneys and the like. I am still not sure I made the right decision.

 

[vaniilla]

with santa we're atheistic pagans so once he's old enough we'll tell him that Santa is an ideal, that he represents sharing and giving gifts to loved ones that he's the spirit of the season, we'll be putting emphasis on "Winter solstice is the reason for the season"

 

[Eternal]

Yeah I didnt know what to do with Santa, I am sure Ill just go along with it, but when asked directly I have no idea what Ill do.