Is it just a waste?

[pippi_89]

*MASSIVE RANT ALERT*

OH and I got engaged in May and I we were both really excited as we've been together four years, we have two children and in our minds it's about bloody time lol

We were (very good ) friends who sort of fell into an official relationship after I got pregnant. We have never done anything special for just the two of us because we have been a family from day 1, so we both really want a 'proper' wedding. Nothing massive but a ceremony, reception, honeymoon etc. that we can share with family/friend.

We announced it to our family and it seems like we've had nothing but negativity from everywhere!

His mum said 'you'd better not invite more than 10 people, big weddings are stupid' (we both have large families, and both parents are split and re-married so this is impossible!)
His dad said 'you need to buy a house, what's the point if you don't have your own house?' (we are in a very nice house now, nice area, big garden for LOs etc)
My mum, who I am not close to asked when it was, I said a couple of years - she's ignored me since.
My dad said 'ok' and that was it!
And my Grandma, well.....'What a waste of money! You live together so you might as well be married anyway. Why do you want to draw attention to the fact that you have children and you're not already married. Why don't you buy a car instead of wasting money on feeding a bunch of people? You need to do your degree before you think about spending money on anything else! I made my own dress, went to the church and went home again, why should you be any different? You're only doing it because you think it's fashionable and you want to show off.........it goes on and on! And she WILL NOT get off my back about it!

We are thinking a couple of years away yet so we can save the money, so it's not like we are asking anyone to fund it. We are only saving what we can afford so the kids will not go without anything. And like I've said we're not thinking a £25,000 3 day festival!

I'm getting seriously depressed! It's starting feel like getting engaged was the worst plan we've ever had!

Are we being selfish and wasting money? Please someone give me an honest opinion

(sorry. I'm done now lol)

 

[katherinegrey]

A wedding is rarely selfish, it's about two people who love each other, celebrating that love and two families joining together, I'd ignore what they say and enjoy planning your special day, don't let your family ruin this for you, and if they carry on, threaten to elope Big hugs honey

 

[Cowgirl07]

It is not a waste! We didn't have a big/expense day. My parents helped but I wouldn't change a thing about it!

 

[pippi_89]

This is what OH said lol

It's my Grandma that gets to me, she has been there for me since I fell out with my mum 7 years ago and I just want her to be happy for me! But for every one positive thing she says she has 15 negative points. I know it's the way she is and I can't change it but it's really frustrating and upsetting!!

 

[Cowgirl07]

My grandma is the same way, she told me once after I was engaged well its just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor one! My hubby doesn't make tons but we are not destitute by any means.
You love him, and he loves you. If you want to get married its for that reason. I am so sorry they did this for you. A wedding should be a happy occasion.
Ps. there's always Vegas.

 

[Mummy May]

No its not a waste at all! What horrible people! The day is about you 2 and your families coming together, have the wedding you both want to have and sod what they think. You can always tell them they will be welcome NOT to attend if they have nothing nice to say on the matter. Xx

 

[JaeSung]

It's definitely not a waste. I don't understand how people can act this way.

 

[pippi_89]

Thank you ladies! I feel a bit silly really. Ithink I just need to stop people getting inside my head

 

[lozzy21]

Is it a waste? Yep. Would I change it? Hell no.

 

[Princess Lou]

My sister is getting married in two weeks and our Grandmother's response was something along the lines of whats the point, doesn't mean anything to anyone, just a bit of paper etc (she married my grandfather in 1945 and was still married when he died in 1991).

Some people believe in the sanctity of marriage, what it represents and means etc, if you wish to spend the rest of your life as a married couple then do it. Screw what everyone else thinks, have the day you want and invite whoever you want.

For some it is a waste of money (it was for my parents, both times for my father) but who cares? It's your money, not their's. Do we need a big party? No. Do we need the cake, flowers and cars? No. Do we need the fancy clothes? No. Do we want them? Yes. Do we deserve them? Yes. Should everyone butt out and let you do what you want? Yes.

Enjoy your day.