kodi
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2010
- Messages
- 1,027
- Reaction score
- 0
Right... i dont think this is normal, but hear me out...
sinc about the age of 13 my weights fluctuated, iv always hated my body, never been "huge" so people say, but iv always felt huge. i went on stupid diets, like an apple a day when i was younger, lost loads but regained then when i was 17 i went from 12stone to 8stone and i was so happy - still felt a little self concious with my weight (my goal was 6/7stone)! (i didnt do it healthily either - stupid not much eating loads of exercising etc)
and i get myself into a state of not wanting to eat anyting, and when i do i feel enormous guilt. i've purged after meals, taken laxatives, the lot, i've been there done that got the t-shirt. now i maintained my weight till i fell pregnant at the age of 20, and then i regained it all, and here i am, i weigh 11stone something stone again and i will admit i feel as if i have a problem again.
i dont even like seeing old friends because of my weight i dont like the partners mates coming to see HIM because i fear they'll be thinking eurgh look at that obese elephant

i dont even like going into the shops because of my weight.
my boyfriend and friends have asked me to go out for NYE and i cant bring myself to, because of my weight again, it sounds so stupid but it affects me in every part of my life. If i eat anything i feel like a pig, feel so worthless and the guilt is unbearable.
i dont know what to do, im basically eating an apple a day atm, and i cant bring myself to eat anything else (and quite frankly i dont want to full stop until i've got to 7stone) and i'l maintain, i always manage to maintain too.
so do i sound like i have a problem? thing is, even if i do, i dont want it to be fixed :// i dont want to be the fat girl.
sinc about the age of 13 my weights fluctuated, iv always hated my body, never been "huge" so people say, but iv always felt huge. i went on stupid diets, like an apple a day when i was younger, lost loads but regained then when i was 17 i went from 12stone to 8stone and i was so happy - still felt a little self concious with my weight (my goal was 6/7stone)! (i didnt do it healthily either - stupid not much eating loads of exercising etc)
and i get myself into a state of not wanting to eat anyting, and when i do i feel enormous guilt. i've purged after meals, taken laxatives, the lot, i've been there done that got the t-shirt. now i maintained my weight till i fell pregnant at the age of 20, and then i regained it all, and here i am, i weigh 11stone something stone again and i will admit i feel as if i have a problem again.
i dont even like seeing old friends because of my weight i dont like the partners mates coming to see HIM because i fear they'll be thinking eurgh look at that obese elephant


i dont even like going into the shops because of my weight.

my boyfriend and friends have asked me to go out for NYE and i cant bring myself to, because of my weight again, it sounds so stupid but it affects me in every part of my life. If i eat anything i feel like a pig, feel so worthless and the guilt is unbearable.
i dont know what to do, im basically eating an apple a day atm, and i cant bring myself to eat anything else (and quite frankly i dont want to full stop until i've got to 7stone) and i'l maintain, i always manage to maintain too.
so do i sound like i have a problem? thing is, even if i do, i dont want it to be fixed :// i dont want to be the fat girl.