is this stupid

[tinkerbelle2]

I tend not to lurk here much now, I want to offer support but feel useless.
So I apologise for posting this,

but is it stupid of me to be sat here in tears, after being told by my closet friend she is pregnant, she had never told me she was trying, which is something we have discussed in past, (she began trying before my loss so no excuse there!) maybe her oh wanted it hush, but apparently she is shock as didn't expect it so quickly, I am happy for her, I want to be happy for her, but it also feels like a massive kick in the teeth, She was previously telling me her relationship was crap and that she didn't have time for another!!! Now this!
I don't know if its doubly hard because I am expecting my first AF any day now since, and that to me is hard, that shouldn't be coming (well I hope it is, I never had any checks or anything after d&c but its been a month or so so guessing HCG is normal and its due!)

Life officially sucks, I act on the outside like everything is fine, don't mention it any were, but stupidly its still tearing me up inside

 

[Darlin65]

Not stupid at all! I have wanted a baby for soo long and DF said not yet because of finances and the he got laid off and just so much negative stuff so it kept getting pushed of firther and further. In that time I had at least 4 people tell me they were pregnant who were close to me not to mention the others that were just acquaintances that I found out about who had not been in their relationships as long and that always said they never wanted kids. For a while there was a time period I would cry myself to sleep every night because I didn't want to ignore them just because they were having babies and I couldn't handle their happiness. It is really hard to watch others obtain so easily what you want so bad that you for some reason can't get. When god closes a door he always opens a window though

 

[kaboom]

Not stupid at all hun I spent all last weekend in tears because I found out my 19 year old cousin is pregnant plus and my sil's sister

 

[AEM1803]

That is not stupid at all.. I feel the same way- After I lost my little angel I hated people that were pregnant.. and i felt horrible about it.. I still feel that way..
In my eyes.. i just dont see how its fair that those people get to have their babies and I didnt get to have mine..
One of my friends just told me she was pregnant and it broke my heart.. she met this guy on the internet and has been with him for 5 months and she is already pregnant.. while me and my OH have been together for years and I lost my baby.. it just didnt/doesnt seem fair..

we are all here for you!

 

[SeaThreePeeO]

It's not stupid to feel that way, just perfectly normal.

It seems to me like the whole world and his wife was either getting pregnant or giving brirht after I suffered my loss. And althought I tried, I really did try to be happy for each of my friend, somewhere in the back of my mind I was screaming, b*tch!

I used to get really upset over it and felt like I was the worst personal alive to be thinking these things. Then I decided that I had been through enough and I wasn't going to punish myself for feeling things that givene the circumstances, is perfect normal


((((hugs to us all))))

 

[kiki04]

Its been 3 weeks 1 day since I lost Hadlee at 4 months pg and to everyone else... my life has subsided as normal. I get up, get dressed all fancy, do my hair and make up and go to work, in a very political office, put on a smile, treat our board members and staff with respect laugh joke etc... meanwhile, Hadlee is on my mind 24/7. I think about how I should STILL BE PG!!!! This isnt fair!!! I want to be pg again and have begun obsessing over the idea. It rips me apart every.single.day but no one knows I know exactly how you feel and I am sure sooooo many other ladies in here do to One day things will be OK again, I know that, but right now it still sucks

 

[diz]

Ahh Tinks..... Do you know what hun, i think you expect too much from your self. It's only right, and normal, and reasonable that you would feel this way after receiving that information on the back end of what has JUST happened to you. A month in a lifetime is really just a blink of an eye, so how you're expected to just feel like your old self, and be completely unfazed by such news, is beyond me.

I understand that you want to be a good friend and be happy for her, which I'm sure you'll have the strength to do when you're in her company. But please don't blame your self honey for feeling the way you do.

Im sure that there are people in your life who know that you are still in a great deal of pain. Some of them might be close to you in location, and other close to you in spirit - but they are there. Its always difficult in these types of situations, as quite often those around, or close to you don't want to bring it up just in case you're having a good day and the conversation upsets you. But then those people are also at risk of you feeling or thinking that they don't care.

I can guaranty you that there are those out there who think about you on a daily basis, and hope each day that passes, is slightly easier then the last xxx

 

[Mammatotwo]

I totally understand what you are feeling. It is not stupid at all.
It does seem unfair that we lost our babies and yet others get to keep theirs. Not that I wish this on anyone, but I get the whole why my baby??? Plus I get why you would feel upset about her not sharing that info with you. This lady at my DH work is pregnant and is just the nastiest, sneaky, mean spirited trouble maker and she fell pregnant quickly and gets to keep her baby but I don't things just do not make sense sometimes.
I get you, don't feel useless we are all here to help you through and everyone here understands your hurt and pain.

 

[SatansSprite]

A friend of my sister is still practically a teenager, has a son who's about a year and a half, and is probably expecting any day now to give birth to a second. This girl hangs out in a very...bad...crowd and it bothered me the idea of her having kids even before I got preg, but now that I just lost mine, when I think about her, and how she's getting what I want even though she seems like one of the last people to deserve it, it makes me cry.

Makes me want my body to heal NOW, makes me want to be done the meds Im taking NOW cause I cant start TTC until they're done in about a week cause they're a "dont take while preg" kind and i dont imagine conceiving while on them would be a good thing. I just want everything in my body to go back so I can start TTC again NOW, I just wanna be pregnant again so badly.

I want to grow a happy and healthy baby, and have them in my arms. I WANT those late nights and such, I really do. As much as they do take a toll on the body, I want to have those again, and know that I've grown a healthy little baby. I don't want everyone around me to get this especially if they don't have good environments for their children, I just want it to be my turn. I even had to delete all my old subscribed posts on here from when I was in First and Second Tri forums, just cause seeing some of them pop back up, they just hurt too much to see.