is this worng?

[zoe6660]

hey everyone igot a story and i dont knwo who to talk to..
well ages ago i was talking to my boyfriend about having a baby and this was back in jan this year well he wasnt ready so i waited, im 19 hes 20 in 2 weeks we been togther for 3 yrs now and getting engaged on nov the 13th lol well lately i been thinking about kids again i feel like i shouldnt coz i dont have my own house but i really looking forward to starting a family and spending time looking after a child of myown, about a month ago i wasnt feeling the best and i take the pill 2 packs in a month so i dont come on offernt and i was gaining fat so i checked and when it showed i wasnt i was really gutted and i didnt think i would feel like that. but i been talking to him and i want to move house and start a family but i feel like i want to be a young mom now and enjoy this. alot of people enjoy going out and drinking but i like spending time in watching a film with my boyfriend.

i dont know what to do i feel lost coz i want a kid, and i was working it out if we tryed in a month or so and it works out right i could have a summer baby which i wanted.

 

[PeanutBean]

You don't have to have a house to be a good Mum and there are lots of advantages to being a young mum. As long as both you and your boyfriend want a baby and are prepared to look after it I don't think it matters how old you are.

 

[zoe6660]

You don't have to have a house to be a good Mum and there are lots of advantages to being a young mum. As long as both you and your boyfriend want a baby and are prepared to look after it I don't think it matters how old you are.

thanks that made me feel a bit better, we both work full time and i been saving, iw as thinking on getting a puppy so i cant look after that to keep me busy, i already got 4 snakes 1 lizard 2 rabbits 2 chinchillas and over 40 tarantulas but if i did have a baby i would cute down on the tarantulas lol

i think its a bad idea being on here with everyone talking about babies its making me think more lol

i been feeling ready for months but i need to stop thinking lol anyidea what could help i will talk to my boyfriend but he is old fashion that way like to get a house marryed then kids lol

 

[PeanutBean]

Well it's important you are both in the same place with this. My husband is three and a half years younger than me so I had to wait a while for him to be as ready as me. We also had some job issues that delayed us a little longer too after we relocated.

I wanted to get married before kids but all three of my sisters/in-law were pregnant or had already had kids when they got married! In some ways it's easier to get these things, like a house, in place before having kids but you don't have to. Life doesn't just stop and trap you so there's nothing wrong with doing things in a different order.

I'm not sure what advice I can give about trying not to be broody. I was desperate for a baby for years (DH and I have been together 8 years and married 3) and we talked about babies and how we'd live as a family and what our parenting styles might be etc a lot so maybe that helped with the waiting. We even chose Byron as our first boy's name when we'd only been together a few months.

Maybe setting dates for weddings or when you think you can afford to get your own house will help see you through the time?

 

[plutosblue]

I agree with PeanutBean, you don't have to own a home to be a good mother, you could have all the riches in the world but what a child would really want is cuddles and love.
Of course being stable will help, I have waited until I have my first home, stable jobs etc (though we are not married but that is just a personal decision between the two of us) and I have raised two puppies with my partner and they always have their vet checks! (Ok not quite the same as a baby but you get the idea)

I am 21 but will be 22 when I intend to try for my first next year, age really isn't too much of a factor, I am just trying now as like you I want to be a young mum so I can enjoy my younger years with my children but everyone is different. As long as you are both commited and emotionally ready I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[zoe6660]

thanks
i been wanting to move out my house for a long time even tho im 19 i want my own independance (spelling), i was looking for a place 3 days ago coz i think my byfriend has to pay poll tax coz he is working and his mam isnt working so it may be cheaper for us both to move together coz im paying money to stay at my mams house. i think ill talk to him if hes not ready then ill have to wait and start looking for a place.

Well it's important you are both in the same place with this. My husband is three and a half years younger than me so I had to wait a while for him to be as ready as me. We also had some job issues that delayed us a little longer too after we relocated.

I wanted to get married before kids but all three of my sisters/in-law were pregnant or had already had kids when they got married! In some ways it's easier to get these things, like a house, in place before having kids but you don't have to. Life doesn't just stop and trap you so there's nothing wrong with doing things in a different order.

I'm not sure what advice I can give about trying not to be broody. I was desperate for a baby for years (DH and I have been together 8 years and married 3) and we talked about babies and how we'd live as a family and what our parenting styles might be etc a lot so maybe that helped with the waiting. We even chose Byron as our first boy's name when we'd only been together a few months.

Maybe setting dates for weddings or when you think you can afford to get your own house will help see you through the time?

 

[zoe6660]

I agree with PeanutBean, you don't have to own a home to be a good mother, you could have all the riches in the world but what a child would really want is cuddles and love.
Of course being stable will help, I have waited until I have my first home, stable jobs etc (though we are not married but that is just a personal decision between the two of us) and I have raised two puppies with my partner and they always have their vet checks! (Ok not quite the same as a baby but you get the idea)

I am 21 but will be 22 when I intend to try for my first next year, age really isn't too much of a factor, I am just trying now as like you I want to be a young mum so I can enjoy my younger years with my children but everyone is different. As long as you are both commited and emotionally ready I don't see anything wrong with it.

aww what puppies u got? my mam always say it will be cheaper for me to have a child than all the animals but i love them too much, my mam wanted to be a young mom but she waited till she was around 24 i think but now she sed she wish she tryed sooner coz we would be much older and she could enjoy holiday more the youngest sister in the house is 12 and im the oldest 19.

 

[plutosblue]

My first puppy was brought for me as a christmas gift, and the second we found on the street at 3 weeks left to die Both are Staffies but they are just two big softies! My eldest is Archie who is 3 this october and the youngest is Missy Moo (I know odd name!) and she will be 6 months this month. Puppies are hard work, especially Missy... at 3 weeks we had to wean her on goats milk onto solid food, she was worm/flea ridden we thought she wasn't going to make it Well she proved us all wrong and she is a little madam!
It is so worth it though, and yes they are expensive, vet's fees are astronomical so they are both insured!

I always made the decision when I was young to have my first at a younger age, I have been ooming and uuming about it with my partner all year, I was really afraid of making the decision because I know it sounds odd but I never imagined planning a child I just thought one day it would happen! I only realised when I had subconciously made the decision when I went to my doctor several months ago about bad anxiety and she placed me on tablets and said I should not try while on them as they are not tested enough on pregnant women and therefore not concidered safe. I cried my eyes out over it!
So I have made the decision to try when I come off the meds and have all my jabs and check ups. Its strange being broody and worse having to wait!

Yea my mum had me at 24 and my brother at 27, she said if she could do it all again she wouldn't have any, charmin! hehe

 

[fuffyburra]

I'm in the same position you are, OH and I can't move out until next September at the earliest Then we want to get married and live together for a while before TTC, but we've set our TTC date for June 2011. OH has told me not to worry as it WILL happen in time, and we won't have to put it back unless there's a VERY good reason (like him losing his job, or for our wedding).
I'm 20 and OH is nearly 21, and we don't go out clubbing or anything, though we do occasionally go out when our other mates come home from uni (so like, twice a year lol!) we're so sad I don't think it's wrong at all, we're just different types of people. I want children more than anything in the world, and also have loads of pets to keep me occupied
Hope it's not too long for you! xx

 

[PeanutBean]

my mam wanted to be a young mom but she waited till she was around 24 i think but now she sed she wish she tryed sooner coz we would be much older and she could enjoy holiday more the youngest sister in the house is 12 and im the oldest 19.

lol 24 is still pretty young these days! I would've liked to have had kids at 24 but I only met DH when I was 22 and he was 18 at the time and just starting uni. I was 29 when I had Byron. I really want to be done having kids by 35 though if I can.

 

[princess_bump]

i think as long as you've both got the same outlook, and in the same place in life, then it doesn't matter when you have children. i do always think it best to try when you've got a place together, weather rented or brought, but thats just personal opinion, either way, i think you need to have a good chat with your OH. good luck x

 

[zoe6660]

thanks everyone, i will have a good talk and sort things out. ill keep u updated on what happens.

 

[emz87]

hope everything works out ok with you im 21 and my oh is 23 i was 20 when i had my baby and we both lived with my dad and it was the best thing ever the bond that my dad has with my baby is incredible we were also able to just concentrate on being parents without the worry of keeping a house,we now have our own place (renting) but i honestly wouldnt have had it any other way!! good luck x x