It isn't fair... [epic rant]

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Paxton, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. Paxton

    Paxton Mum + Wife-to-be

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    The women are stuck going through all the being sick and the pain and the birthing and the being pregnant for 9 monthes and the blood tests with the needles and the disturbing amount of doctor appointments, and the men don't have to do *anything*!

    I hate going to the doctor appointments sooo much. Cause we don't have a car, so I have to take the bus... so I have to walk down to the bus depot (its hard for me, cause everytime I stand for more than a few min. my feet start to burn and my legs swell) catch the bus and then walk some more to get to the office. And I had to do it once a month, until just recently when I begun 3rd tri, they upped the number of appts so I have to go every 2 weeks. And I dragged my DH to my last appointment, just BARELY able to get him to come, ie:

    ME: Come to my appointment.
    HIM: No.
    ME: Please?
    HIM: What's the point?
    ME: ...moral support?
    HIM: I don't want to go.
    ME: I don't want to go either.
    HIM: Yeh, but you have to go.
    ME: *growl* Yeh, but it's your child too. It isn't fair *pout*
    HIM: *grumblegrumblegrowl* Fiiiiine.

    And he was all moody and complainy the entire way there cause he didn't want to go. Like, how daaare I bring him with me when all he's gonna do is sit in a chair and try not to talk too much. What's the point, he asks? It's.. it's... It's his child too! Why do I have to do everything? >.< I want him to be involved, I wanna see him all excited about child, I want and need his support through all this, not to have to literally drag him out of the house to come to my stupid doctor appointment and finally getting him to come, wish I never brought him along in the first pace cause he's just being miserable and making me miserable cause how daaare I want him to come and be involved :hissy: Thhere should some random thing that the doctors make up, that the men absolutely haaave to do just like all the stuff we have to do. Like.. like... mandatory (hee, man-datory...) baby-learning classes or the how-to-not-be-a-jerk-and-give-the-poor-pregnant-woman-the-help-she-needs class, that tells them all the stuff we have to go through and teaches them how to help and understanding and stuff :p

    Bah. Sorry for the rant. Didn't really intend on it going so much :dohh:
     
  2. ecossaise74

    ecossaise74 Well-Known Member

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    Awwww, I'm sorry hun. Don't really know what to say to you, my hubby is perfect for that....
    Maybe you should try to sit down with him and discute all those issues, because if it doesn't care now, it might be worse if you take care of the LO and he complains about the food not being ready or something, and it could lead to post natal depression.... Without scaring you, I think it's really important for you to share your feelings with him without getting angry... Just try to make him understand, because at the end of the day, he's not pregnant and some men just don't know what it means!!!
    Not sure, I was really helpful but I wish you all the best.. And don't worry if he doesn't listen, at least we are LOL!!! xx
     
  3. Dukechick

    Dukechick Wife & proud Mom of 2

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    Awwww... honey!! I couldn't help but to laugh, and read your post to my husband! lol...... It's pretty sad isn't it? My DH came to my first few appointments, but NOW???... I don't even BOTHER asking him to come!! I'd rather save the dissapointment and arguments to be honest! :rofl:

    I guess guys just don't understand that even just HAVING them sit there and not say anything means so much to us. :(

    Oh well, I'm glad we're the girls, cuz I love bonding with my bump right now. I just think it's the coolest thing ever. Guys don't get to do that. Also, I get the year off work to be home with baby.... DH doesn't get that either. Hmmf!

    Don't be so down about it honey... you're not alone xx
     
  4. Sherileigh

    Sherileigh Well-Known Member

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    LOL...I read this post to my OH as well...and he asked me what I said...he's actually pretty good. But I know he's not that keen on the appts, but he would go with me. Luckily he doesn't have to as they're just down the street from my work and they take about 4 mins it seems! But it is nice having them there for support. I agree with Dukechick...we're pretty luckily to be able to bond with the baby where the men don't get too. I always talk to our baby and feel so connected...it's great. As annoying as pregnancy can be, I wouldn't trade it for the world!
     
  5. sam*~*louize

    sam*~*louize Well-Known Member

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    It would be worth having a chat like you said and maybe finding out why. ONce babs is here he may "realise" he/she was in there and be the perfect dad, but you need help now.
    My OH has been to every appointment, have told him he can miss some if he can't get out of work and now im on mat leave etc, but nope, he can hear baby's heartbeat and midwife's comments so he's coming!

    Hope you get through to him!
     
  6. dizzy duck

    dizzy duck Mummy to Oliver

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    Aww hun, Im sorry he is being like this and agree that you need to talk to him about it and how you feel. Im lucky my DH is being amazing and even though I tell him he doesn't need to come he says he wouldn't miss it for the world, we do have the better part of it, we feel everything and bond with our bump it must be very hard for men to get their heads around what is going on. I defiantly wouldn't swap roles. Take care :hugs: XX
     

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