It should be me...

[FJL]

Tomorrow morning my sister is going in for a planned C-section.

We'd been trying for months when they got preg for the 2nd time on the 2nd go.

Of course the whole family is excited (except for me of course) and I just can't shake the feeling that it should be ME. Me going in to have my baby, me holding my baby in my arms, me making the calls and seeing my visitors.

Its just not fair...

To top it all off I was speaking to a friend the other day (she doesn't know about our probs) and she said 'My sister is 17 weeks pregnant, she found out she is having a boy, she is really so crushed and devestated because she already has 2 boys'

I lashed out saying that she was lucky to be pregnant, to already have 2 kids and another on the way and so long as her baby was healthy the sex really shouldn't matter.

It just gets to me so bad

 

[Amanda]

Aw hunnie, this is a perfectly normal reaction.

Every single friend of mine who was pg when I was pg with Charlie is pg with their second. 2 of them weren't trying at all, 1 got pg the 2nd month, and the other got pg the 1st month, and he has admitted that they only BD once in her fertile week, and it worked! We've been trying for 14 months, and it's really beginning to get to me now. I'm really happy for all of them, but I hate them all as well. It makes me feel like a really bad person, but I'm not, honest.

It will happen for us soon FJL, and then they can be the jealous ones when our babies are cuter than theirs!!

 

[Steph]

Both of you wonderful ladies, just look at me, i got pregnant on our 15th month of trying. I thought it was never going to happen, but it did!!And it will for you too!I promise!!

I had countless tests for PCOS,Endometriosis, etc etc and nothing was wrong, its all about when its meant to be i think...and here it's happened.

Good luck, and i really hope your meant to be time is just around the corner

xxx

 

[skiwi]

hi hun, it is a normal reaction, you are only human, it will happen to you guys, just hang in there.....

 

[Amanda]

Thanks Steph, that means a lot.

 

[Mango]

Your reaction is definitely normal and I would feel the same. Stay positive and keep trying. I hope it happens for you guys soon (HUGZ)

 

[FJL]

Thanks so much guys I'm so sorry that everytime I seem to come on here I do nothing but whinge! But you guys always make me feel better!Amanda - yes, our babies will be so much cuter

 

[Helen]

Hey. Just wanted to send you both a big

There's nothing worse than someone being PG or having a baby anywhere near you when you are TTC and struggling.

Hope all goes well with your sister tomorrow. Are you still planning on visiting?

 

[Arcanegirl]

FJL

 

[Wobbles]

Thanks so much guys I'm so sorry that everytime I seem to come on here I do nothing but whinge! But you guys always make me feel better!Amanda - yes, our babies will be so much cuter

whats wrong with that? We're here listening and thats what we are here for hun

This must be a hard time for you Stay strong where you can and thinking of you

x

 

[FJL]

Well, she had a baby girl this morning and i'm just feeling so yuck about it all. I just can't shake the feeling that it should be me! I keep thinking that if we got preg straight away we would have a 3 month old baby, or even if we got preg last month we'd be 6 weeks preg.

We get another semen analysis in a few weeks time, so fingers crossed and I will let you all know if there is any improvement.

Thankyou all SO much for your support, it means the world to me

 

[Mango]

Thanks so much guys I'm so sorry that everytime I seem to come on here I do nothing but whinge! But you guys always make me feel better!Amanda - yes, our babies will be so much cuter

Don't worry about complaining. That's what the forum and everyone on here is for. I think it's great that you can come on here for support and to talk to someone without judgement, it's hard to find that in everyday life, so say whatever it is you need to, we're all here to listen at least

 

[ElliesMum]

I've been where you are many many times. I remember when i had one of my m/c, i was still bleeding and recovering from it after just having a d&c when my brother came over with his wife (who i really cant stand anyway) and they announced in front of everyone that she was 3 months pg and everything was fine and did i want to see their scan photo!

NO I F****ING WELL DIDNT!

SOme people are just so insensitive, some are really good. But no matter how considerate some people try to be it just doesnt take away the hurt and pain that you are feeling.

Try and talk to your sister and explain how you feel, or even write her a letter explaining things, it might help.

Good luck, thinking of you

 

[FJL]

Wow ElliesMum, I can't believe they did that! Some people just don't think before they speak do they?

My sister fortunately knows pretty much how I feel, I spilled my guts to her about a month ago and she was really good. I hadn't spoken to her for over a month (normally we speak a few times a week) and I just didn't want to because I was sick of faking how I really felt.

I think we both felt much better when it was all out in the open.

I'm going to see her and the baby in 2 weeks time. She's even planned it just so its me, her and the baby and no one else and I can be a big screaming mess...she is expecting that. So I am very lucky to have such a great family.

This all just sucks so bad, i'm so over it.

 

[wannabmum]

Hi Flj,
Don't appoligize for how you are feeling we are all here to support each other so please don't hessitate to vent your feelings.

I 110% understand how difficult this is for you, oh brother and his partner had a baby a year ago in dec by that time we had already bn ttc for 2 years and they fell preg my mistake even now I find it so hard to even be in the same room as my niece and it takes everything in me not to burst into tears I feel so guilty for feeling this way but I just get so jealous and keep thinking how unfair it is that it was so easy for them we should be the ones with the baby, I have her 1st bday party to go to on the 9th of december and I have no idea how I'm going to cope, please keep your chin up flj your baby dreams will come true soon I wish you and oh all the happiness.

Stacey xx