it takes 3 days to recover from giving birth!!

[septemberbaby]

Sort him out. Where does he even get the 3 days from? Everywhere you look it says a minimum of 6 weeks, and it was definitely more for me! Hell, we're thinking about moving soon and I asked my OH if he could get a few helpers for the heavy lifting as I don't think I can help much, he said "you'll not help at all! I'm sending you away with the baby to relax for the day!" And she'll be over 7 months!

He needs to recognize what kind of toll having a baby has on your body...I'd have a serious talk with him...and soon. If your other kids are his too, was he like that after every birth, or is this a new thing?

 

[babydust1990]

Omg, my blood is actually boiling after reading this! My OH was 'its not that bad' bloke before I had LO, but he was BEGGING me to have pain relief as he couldn't bare to see me in such pain. He still thinks I'm super woman now and that's how it should be! I'm so surprised you didnt smack him, I remember getting pretty close to smacking my OH when he gave himself food poisoning the night I brought LO home (he cooked dinner, and didnt check the chicken!) as I was pissed off about being in pain and having to do everything lol.

Are you going to talk to him about it?

 

[Arisa]

Uhhh i do not know what to even say, this man is everything that I cannot stand, cold, uncaring and misogynistic, well sorry but he is acting this way. My hubby was a saint after my EMCS because I too had bad pre eclampsia and am still swollen from the birth but he never once told me to do anything, i would not even speak to a man let alone marry one who was that rude, you poor thing, it must be awful living with such an asshat i mean really i would file for divorce, you could seek some help too since he is too lazy and selfish even if he is jealous, what is there to be jealous of? he can pay attention to your LO he is the DAD, some fathers even enjoy looking after their LO's, my hubby does and she is a daddys girl. so yeah i would really give him an ultimatum darling

 

[ukgirl23]

He's still in bed at the moment.. I wedged my BFing pillow between us last night so I didn't have to look at him LOL.. His comment to me before going to bed was... don't wake me up early again tomorrow!.. So I haven't I'm going to take my kids to the park and he can do whatever he likes, I honestly couldn't care less about him right now!

He was amazing during my pregnancy and after the birth.. but my birth was super quick, I done all 3 stages of labour in 57 minutes, I refused all pain relief as I had norovirus and hadn't eaten for 3 days and was scared to be sick. I only pushed a few times and my LO was born so compared to my other 2 labours this one was rather quick and after just a week I was back in my normal clothes looking thinner than before I was pregnant.. So I guess he sees me now and sees that I LOOK normal and thinks that's how I feel too, but I'm tired and sore and hormonal and my milk is ridiculous! He doesn't get it.

This is my 3rd baby but it's his first, we have been together almost 4 years and I've never seen him like this, he's usually really supportive and kind

 

[Twister]

sorry you're going through this. I can only echo what other people have said. It took me weeks to feel 'normal' after the birth, we didn't even dtd till 15 weeks pp!

 

[babydust1990]

You must have the patience of a saint lol!It does sound like there's another issue though if he's suddenly changed. I'd sit him down and talk about it. If he's not willing to accept there's a problem with the way he's being though, I'd be out of there! xx

 

[ukgirl23]

I think he expected to help out more for a few days and everything would be back to normal.. but with the pre eclampsia and my BP not going down I have to take it more easy.. I think the novelty of being a dad and helping out has worn off and now it's more of a chore for him, well I'm glad he gets a lovely lay in this morning while I'm up with the kids!! I don't know why he bothered taking paternity leave all he's done is sit around and bitch at me for not doing as much as him... I am really angry but I can hold it until I need to then he'll get it all at once which is worse trust me xx

 

[ukgirl23]

besides I don't really want a huge argument while my kids are home.

 

[Arisa]

Well you have to do something, i agree not while the kids are home but take some time out for yourself, call a friend or your parents or someone u know can help out and have a serious conversation with him, you are a human being, not a baby machine. you need rest, love and reassurance just like he does well with all the sleep ins he is getting while you are sick with high blood pressure i think you should tell your doctor, you are within your rights to complain, i sure as hell would lol

 

[Leesy]

I would be fuming. My oh drops comments like, i'll be able to sleep in tomorrow because my first job isn't until 10am, in other words, dont wake me up...
Men are just fucking stupid sometimes. I hope it gets better for you.

 

[Rickles]

Erm... I strongly suggest leaving him with all 3 kids for 3 hours... make sure you are uncontactable... (tell him your seeing a dr for husband induced PND) he'll soon see sense.

My OH has freaked out a couple of times when I have left him for a few hours with Maddie, once he calms down he always utters "I don't know how you do it all day"

Then I ask him to take her in the mornings at the weekend so I can have a lie in - he agrees without blinking

 

[ukgirl23]

I mentioned to him about him causing me PND and he said as long as you dont hurt the baby it doesnt matter.... :/

 

[ukgirl23]

they have pills for that he said!!! :/

 

[Starstryder]

*hugs* He is being a jackass, he might be overwhelmed but he sure as hell is just making it more difficult and stressful for you. If your mum is close by I would suggest going to stay with her for a while, I would have in a fit of hormones kicked him out by now. Or stay with a really good friend, you need a break from him.

 

[DittyByrd]

There is something else going on here. It makes no sense that he was loving and sensitive before baby and acting like this after.

You need to hash it out and get to the heart of the matter or your relationship may be irreparably damaged.

 

[aimee-lou]

they have pills for that he said!!! :/

Inexcusable!!!

Sorry, that's not the attitude you want/need from your other half. I don't really know how I would approach it as I'm not very good at confrontation, but my initial reaction would be to tell him to help you recover, stop acting like a child, or get out as you already have 3 children and you don't need 1 more. He is a grown up, and if he had any respect for you, he would be bowing and scraping to help out right now. Does he not realise that he's just produced HIS offspring?!

I'm so angry on your behalf.

Is there any way/time you can get where it's just the 2 of you where you can have an adult conversation? Maybe ask the grandparents to take all 3 to the park for an hour or something? I'm sure they'd be happy to help out and they don't even have to know why you need the time.

 

[aimee-lou]

There is something else going on here. It makes no sense that he was loving and sensitive before baby and acting like this after.

You need to hash it out and get to the heart of the matter or your relationship may be irreparably damaged.

Agreed.

 

[wamommy]

they have pills for that he said!!! :/

Are you married to my husband?

 

[sethsmummy]

sounds just like my hubby hun!

I had a c-section and 5 days afterwards i was being moaned at for being Lazy and not doing the housework properly. So i just got on and did it all. Then the moaning about sex started

I let him have it and he backed off a bit but not much. hes much better now though at 6 weeks pp but he still moans if i say im sore. Really feel for you hun, if theres any where for him to stay then just kick his sorry ass out for a week and make the idiot realise what hes actually got hun x

 

[beth_terri]

What a nasty piece of work!