It takes two to tango

[florida_gal]

DH and I are in the first cycle of TTC #1. I am actively interested in TTC, BD'ing along the lines of SMEP, but hubs is more of a laissez faire, when-the-mood-is-right sort of guy.

Well, my DH must be the only man on earth who is not in the mood every second of every day!

I have been eagerly awaiting CD8 to get my on, and have been planning on BD'ing every other day, and then 3 days right around O time. But on CD8 DH wasn't in the mood. Yesterday I tried making a move when he got home, but he was hungry and exhausted from work. Then after dinner he proceeds to pass out asleep on the couch!

Any other ladies in a similar boat? How'd you go about it? I am afraid of missing the window of opportunity this cycle, but he doesn't want to follow a schedule (and I am sincerely trying not to pester him...not sure if I'm succeeding though ). I'm beginning to wonder how realistic SMEP'ing might be for us at this point, LOL!

 

[ruby09]

BDing on a schedule is my least favorite part about ttc. Maybe you could try setting the atmosphere before he comes home from work. Maybe light some candles or wear lingerie to entice him when he walks in the door?

Or maybe he just needs some time to get used to the idea of ttc. It took me at least a month to process that we were getting ready to be parents.

Good luck to you!

 

[Tiffani86]

My advice- be aggressive- when I have to encourage DH I just "initiate things" for him. TMI alert: I start off with a BJ (even if he's asleep already and I want it!) for him and he finishes inside me. Everybody wins

 

[florida_gal]

I think the "getting used to it" part might be a factor, which is why I'm trying not to pester. Although it is SO HARD not to talk about it all the time when it is on my mind all. the. time.

I will try upping the romance factor tonight and see where that gets me. It's the frequent SMEP'ing afterwards that we'll have to wait and see about!

Thanks!

 

[florida_gal]

My advice- be aggressive- when I have to encourage DH I just "initiate things" for him. TMI alert: I start off with a BJ (even if he's asleep already and I want it!) for him and he finishes inside me. Everybody wins

LOL!!! Love it!!!

DH has made moves on me in the dead of sleep with no recollection of it whatsoever the next morning (I looked it up and apparently it's called sexsomnia! ). I have teased him I am going to conceive us a child without him ever even knowing it!

 

[annanouska]

your not having an affair with my hubby are you hahahaha.

i understand 100 % how you feel as mine is the same-hes alwyas been a little lazy at the best of times but ive told him itl never work if we stick to his usual sunday sex session lol

 

[TheNewMrs]

On average how often would you usually?

I agree with poster above, TAKE WHAT YOU WANT!

Lingerie is a winner, Standing cooking the dinner in next to nothing and heels when he arrives in from work, well- lets just say dinner will be burnt and you'll need the number of a take away at hand..

Be prepared to "give", remember, all you really need are those little spermies.. your his wife, you know what tickles him in the right places.

TMI- but when hubby is tired, and I need those spermies, I'll run him a bath, let him relax for a bit then jump in beside him Or dress up (or down) for him, I'll please him and make him feel like he's getting a night of complete pleasure.

Men are some-what like puppies, if you pet them long enough they'll get giddy and wanna play! - make playtime FUN and he'll wanna play much more often!

 

[WinterSong4]

Everyone's advice here is fair game! My DH is also lazy. On average, even before TTC, we BD'ed only 2-3 times a month! Still is like that...

I suggest giving him time for sure. Even when you know you are ovulating, don't tell him!! Just try to seduce him. As TheNewMrs said, in next to nothing with heels cooking dinner when he gets home!! hehehehe. Spice it up anyway you can! Or, like said before, just be aggressive lol

I know for me it's a little hard seeing as I do most of the work around the house AND go to medical school so I get exhausted, but I still try. DH doesn't try if he is "exhausted"....what a weenie...lol

 

[apple25]

When we first started this TTC journey all my DH could talk about to me was all the bd'ing we'd have. Then after the first month of really trying I could tell he was soo not enjoying this as much as he thought he would. He told me he thought lingerie would help, so I've been trying that. I like the cooking dinner in next to nothing with heels idea tho! I might have to try that.

 

[florida_gal]

Thanks for the suggestions ladies! I went the sexy panties route, made my move before dinner, and mission accomplished!

I'm officially in the running this month, WOO HOO!!!

 

[dncr1010p]

I thought my DH was the only one in the world like this....From day one he told me not to talk about when to bd and not to ask for it because it would put too much pressure on him and not happen and then I'd get upset. Watch is true, its SOO hard to not talk about any of it. He told me the other day the only thing on my mind is a baby, and I said yeah because its what I really want right now. Plus it doesn't help my coworker I work with for 8 hrs 5 days a week is pregnant, my SIL is pregnant too soo I'm constantly hearing about pregnancy and babies..so it adds on top of it all. I think if those 2 weren't pregnant I wouldn't CONSTANTLY be thinking about it.

If I hint I want it, he gets pressured and in his words "can't perform." So I just try to get him in the mood by a massage, taking a bath together, rub up on him when we are laying on the couch and it usually does the trick. I think he is starting to get the idea we only have a small window to get pregnant. But still I'm not allowed to talk about it. I'm just glad its every other day..thats something. Lol. I'm jealous of you ladies whose husbands are down to when you tell them too.

 

[kittymarie]

hah! i thought i was also the only "aggressive" one as well! i was like that before even TTC. At first, he didn't want to keep a "schedule" but i think he realized how important it was to me so he's been a good sport. i added some lingerie to help make it more fun and it seemed to work!

 

[TheNewMrs]

Thanks for the suggestions ladies! I went the sexy panties route, made my move before dinner, and mission accomplished!

I'm officially in the running this month, WOO HOO!!!

Awesome!!! thats great news!

Keep it up though, I find sending him text messages through the day, as in "Id love to......,or I wish we could.......... or Remember when we........" The man will not be able to concentrate at work!!!

When he gets home you'r in for it