It took us so long to get this far

[sarah2211]

I know in the scheme of things and compared to many others, but I finally got a BFP, 9 months after we started trying. I've been temping and each cycle we are able to time our BDing really well. We've both been looking after ourselves, quitting the bad habits and being healthy.

At 5 weeks and 2 days, I started bleeding and blood tests and scan showed no pregnancy. We are both devestated. Even though I wasn't very far along, it feels as though it was a loss at 9 months plus the 5 weeks, 2 days.

I feel like it's going to take another 9 months to get pregnant.

Anyone else in a similar boat?

 

[Velathria]

I am. I was 5 weeks and 6 days. . Almost 6 weeks. And had cramps and then while I went to the bathroom it came out. I had been bleeding since the day before yesterday. Me and DP were over the moon. It took is 8 months to get pregnant and then something like this.. I am.also worried that it will take that long again. Also I'm worried how long it will take until we can try again. Dr said to wait For one period.. hopefully that won't take long.

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks Velathria, sounds like we are in a similar position. We haven't been given any advice about when we can start trying again but we will see the fertility clinic before I O again. I've heard you don't really need to wait.

I was at work when I started bleeding but I had guessed I was going to lose it because my test that morning was very faint. I didn't realise there was going to be so much to lose so early. Have you had a scan or anything?

It just sucks when you're trying so long and this is all you get.

 

[Velathria]

I am still in the hospital for it. Going for hcg testing and ultrasound in a few hours. I don't want to wait but my fiance doesnt know how he feels yet about trying right away. It really hit him hard. I felt so horrible. I felt like I let him down.

It's unfair. We try for so long and then this is all we get. I hear the sooner you keep going the sooner it happens again. Because we are so fertile after a MC. So let's hope that's right. Did you pass it narurally?

 

[sarah2211]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Mine happened last Thursday. Just take your time and allow your body and mind to heal. It was really, really hard but I was surprised how much better I feel in a few days. But don't rush anything.

I did pass naturally but I have to go back for a scan next week to make sure that it's all gone. I stopped bleeding yesterday. I'm still not really ready to think about BDing yet though.

My husband is also having trouble coping. It's been a big thing for him. He's felt lost and hopeless but he's been amazing. I told him I wanted to take a break from temping this cycle and he wants to get straight back to trying again and wants me to be charting.

Honestly, just rest and take all the time you need. You'll feel lots of different things all at once. If you like, feel free to private message me.

 

[Velathria]

This is fine. It's nice to talk to someone though thats went through the same. I want to keep going but I'm also scared that it will happen again. Although I guess that be normal. Just never thought something like that Could happen to me.
I already feel better since yesterday.. although they haven't give me the baby back yet. It's still in the lab for testing. I think I'll probably cry again then. I won't forget about this one, I will always love it but i also know I'm ready to try again after I have my first AF. I know what you mean about the BD'ing.. can't really imagine doing anything like it right now... I hate the part about telling everyone. It's so hard. Especially if it hits them hard too. I feel like I let everyone down.

 

[Velathria]

Although I knew something wasn't right at the beginning. I had no symptoms besides sore boobs but everyone said it might be too soon. Although maybe I'm just telling myself that to feel better...

 

[JDsBaby]

Hi Ladies,

I'm going through a similar situation. I went to my Dr with a small amount of spotting on what would've been 6w 5d, he really tried to find something on the ultrasound but there was just an empty sack. I was told to go get blood work done and repeat the blood work in 2 days. My husband remained positive telling me it's going to be ok, the baby was just too little to see yet.
When the results came back my hcg wasnt doubled and was barely rising I had already knew, I just didn't feel pregnant at all. I know symptoms come and go but this was different. We were crushed, after trying for almost a year we thought we had a baby.
My Dr is wonderful and told me to try and relax we will repeat blood work and have another ultrasound in a week. We'll over this last weekend the cramping and bleeding began. So now I sit and wait for the bleeding to stop and my hcg levels to drop down to under 5.
The Dr said I could start trying again as soon as the bleeding stops. I'm not sure if it's because of it being a blight ovum but he says when thing's pass naturally there's really no evidence that getting pregnant right after causes a higher risk.
I know it was a blight ovum but my loss is still emotionally dreadful. I just am ready for it to be over so I can continue on my journey to have a baby with my best friend.

 

[Velathria]

My dh said the same thing but then when he saw it come out he was just devasteted. .. it was horrible. I just got my bloods back and it went down to 208 ... on monday it was 780... so it dropped alot and ultrasound shows that I had an early miscarriage. .. so at least that is done. So I know I passed it naturally. Just wsiting for the doctor to discharge me.

I'm still sad but not as bad anymore. I feel better. I think I just knew when I started bleeding on monday. And thinking already of trying again. Although taking it slow now. It's crazy how fast the hormone lvls drop... my doc said the same now. Just waiting for everything to calm down and then we can try. Hope it doesn't bleed too long. I'd hate that.

 

[JDsBaby]

My dh said the same thing but then when he saw it come out he was just devasteted. .. it was horrible. I just got my bloods back and it went down to 208 ... on monday it was 780... so it dropped alot and ultrasound shows that I had an early miscarriage. .. so at least that is done. So I know I passed it naturally. Just wsiting for the doctor to discharge me.

I'm still sad but not as bad anymore. I feel better. I think I just knew when I started bleeding on monday. And thinking already of trying again. Although taking it slow now. It's crazy how fast the hormone lvls drop... my doc said the same now. Just waiting for everything to calm down and then we can try. Hope it doesn't bleed too long. I'd hate that.

It's strange how you just "know" something isn't right, guess it's our intuition. I think it's very loving that our DHs tried to reassure us even at the worst.

I really hope our levels drop quick and the bleeding stops Some people may think it's weird but I'm ready to move on and try again.

 

[Velathria]

I know right? I kept saying something isn't right but all you hear. It's still early just wait. I guess sometimes that can be true.

Yeah let's hope they keep dropping. I have to come back on friday to check my betas. But should be fine. I am ready to go at it right away but dh wants to wait two months or so. I will give him that time. It was hard for him. I know it might sound horrible that we got over it so quickly but it doesn't mean we didn't love our baby or have no heart. I'm just ready to move on.

 

[JDsBaby]

I'm heading in to have my blood drawn now to check, I'm hoping for a drastic drop so I can start moving forward.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how we feel, we kinda forget our DHs sufeed a loss too. It's good to hear you step back and appreciate the fact he needs time to heal and grieve. Hopefully the time will fly by and you'll be back on the ttc train soon.

We are hoping what they say about being more fertile after a miscarriage is true and we fall pregnant quickly this time

 

[sarah2211]

The doctor and sonographer both were saying its 50:50 chance that I'm still pregnant. So my husband was hopeful and kept saying everything was alright. But I knew I wasn't pregnant anymore. Then on Saturday when they rang with the blood test results, he was upset but I already knew.

 

[Ask4joy]

Hi ladies - I also had a very early loss at just 4 weeks last month. I had 3 days in a row of faint positives that weren't getting darker before AF arrived on schedule. I asked my Obgyn if they could have been false positives and she said it was probably a very early loss. DH was not as upset as I am...maybe because he is older and has 2 children from his previous marriage (12 & 13)...or maybe just because he's such an optimist. My doctor didn't seem concerned about us trying again right away - I've been temping again this month and just got my positive OPK right on schedule. AF was pretty normal - just makes me wonder, was I pregnant at all? But I guess it's really rare to have false positives, especially several of them.

I've also read many women share that they got pregnant again the month after a CP so honestly I didn't want to lose the chance this month. I'll always remember my first, though brief, pregnancy. It happened on our elopement wedding / honeymoon. We were looking at pictures of our ceremony last night and told DH..."it's kinda sad, because I was pregnant in that picture and didn't know it yet".

Hugs to you ladies - this TTC journey sure isn't easy. But I do believe it will all be worth it.

 

[JDsBaby]

Hi ladies - I also had a very early loss at just 4 weeks last month. I had 3 days in a row of faint positives that weren't getting darker before AF arrived on schedule. I asked my Obgyn if they could have been false positives and she said it was probably a very early loss. DH was not as upset as I am...maybe because he is older and has 2 children from his previous marriage (12 & 13)...or maybe just because he's such an optimist. My doctor didn't seem concerned about us trying again right away - I've been temping again this month and just got my positive OPK right on schedule. AF was pretty normal - just makes me wonder, was I pregnant at all? But I guess it's really rare to have false positives, especially several of them.

I've also read many women share that they got pregnant again the month after a CP so honestly I didn't want to lose the chance this month. I'll always remember my first, though brief, pregnancy. It happened on our elopement wedding / honeymoon. We were looking at pictures of our ceremony last night and told DH..."it's kinda sad, because I was pregnant in that picture and didn't know it yet".

Hugs to you ladies - this TTC journey sure isn't easy. But I do believe it will all be worth it.

HI Ask4joy:wave:

Sorry for your loss, just because it was short pregnancy doesn't make the loss any less painful. The best thing we can do is stay strong and keep trying.

 

[Velathria]

The doctor and sonographer both were saying its 50:50 chance that I'm still pregnant. So my husband was hopeful and kept saying everything was alright. But I knew I wasn't pregnant anymore. Then on Saturday when they rang with the blood test results, he was upset but I already knew.

i know what you mean. The doctors, midwives and sonographer all said that it could still be too early and that it might be nothing.. But i just knew.. especially the day when the cramps started.

I'd love to go again right away but i think my DH is right. I had a talk with him last night about it.. And i am not really over it yet. I thought i was but i think it's just my way of not thinking about this one. He said that it be best if we let ourselves heal at least for a month or two. Because if i get pregnant right away i'll just freak and worry about everything. and that wouldn't help either...

So just gonna hope that my cycles go back to normal and then do it again. Besides in August i have my parents coming for a visit from Germany and in September we are flying and going on vacation... Maybe it'll happen then

It's just nice to be able to talk to you girls. No one i know really knows how i feel. I'm still crying on and off.. Everyone is asking me why i'm so quiet.. i am usually a pretty chatty person but I just don't want to talk or eat... I'm just looking forward to be done with the bleeding... But one thing is weird. Are any of you suddenly really horny? I want to do it but the doctor said we should wait a bit until jumping right into it.. It's so weird.. You'd think i wouldn't want to do it...

 

[Velathria]

Hi ladies - I also had a very early loss at just 4 weeks last month. I had 3 days in a row of faint positives that weren't getting darker before AF arrived on schedule. I asked my Obgyn if they could have been false positives and she said it was probably a very early loss. DH was not as upset as I am...maybe because he is older and has 2 children from his previous marriage (12 & 13)...or maybe just because he's such an optimist. My doctor didn't seem concerned about us trying again right away - I've been temping again this month and just got my positive OPK right on schedule. AF was pretty normal - just makes me wonder, was I pregnant at all? But I guess it's really rare to have false positives, especially several of them.

I've also read many women share that they got pregnant again the month after a CP so honestly I didn't want to lose the chance this month. I'll always remember my first, though brief, pregnancy. It happened on our elopement wedding / honeymoon. We were looking at pictures of our ceremony last night and told DH..."it's kinda sad, because I was pregnant in that picture and didn't know it yet".

Hugs to you ladies - this TTC journey sure isn't easy. But I do believe it will all be worth it.

It's still hard because you knew that you were pregnant and you automatically have a bond with it.. Even if it was super early.. Maybe that's why your DH isn't as upset.. He didn't have the time to really think about it. Men take a bit to form a bond. But at least you have someone strong to lean on My DH is trying to stay strong for me which is really sweet. I had someone on another thread who had a CP and she got pregnant right the next cycle and is now 6 months pregnant with a baby girl. So maybe that'll happen to you

I'm sorry you also had to go through that heartbreak it's def not easy. Let's just hope none of us need to feel this ever again.

 

[JDsBaby]

[/QUOTE]
I'm just looking forward to be done with the bleeding... But one thing is weird. Are any of you suddenly really horny? I want to do it but the doctor said we should wait a bit until jumping right into it.. It's so weird.. You'd think i wouldn't want to do it...[/QUOTE]

I'm with you on being done with the bleeding.

Yes I am extremely horny! I thought it was strange and I almost feel guilty but man Im ready for a little sweet loving with my DH

 

[Velathria]

Me too. I felt so horrible although maybe that explains why people always get pregnant right away after a mc. Hopefully this is normal. Maybe it's just because its been a while since we've bd'ed.... we didn't want to do it too much during the pregnancy just in case and now through all the MC stuff we didn't want to either. Now though I'm ready to pounce. Lol

 

[sarah2211]

No not horny. Feeling like I don't really want to be touched. It might be also that we are staying with family. I can switch it off pretty easily!

We have a family member who is a midwife and I rung her as soon as I started bleeding. She knew, like me that it was all gone. I appreciated that she didn't trying and get our hopes up. But she text me yesterday asking how I was and I asked her if we could start trying straight away. She said that it was best to wait for 2 periods then start. My husband took my phone and text back "F*** off, why?" - he's still feeling very raw about it. She replied saying basically that we don't need to stop trying but to lower our expectations that it'll probably be 2 cycles until things are back to normal.

Who knows. We will just keep trying and see the fertility clinic for our first appointment in a week.

I bled for 6 days, slightly longer and much heavier than AF. Does anyone know if that bleeding just counts as AF and all things going well, I should ovulate in a few weeks like usual?

Velathria, it took me a few days to stop crying on and off. When I stopped bleeding I felt a lot better. I hope it doesn't last too long for you now.