It's a long way off yet but this scares me!

[pinkneon]

I am scared of labor!!!
I am terrified of the thought of giving birth alone. I am no longer with FOB and have no family close enough (both distance and relationship-wise) who I can ask. The only friends I would ask have young kids and so it'll be hard for them to come if I go into labor in the middle of the night. Also I don't like the idea of my friends looking at certain parts of my body ... Have enough trouble with the idea of the doctors seeing! So basically it's just gonna be and the medical staff at the hospital and that thought really scares me!
Also I am not very good with pain and so am worried about that. I don't like being in pain (who does?!) and more than anything I hate not being able to get rid of pain. This is my first baby so I am not really sure what to expect. I worry something migt go wrong and I'll be all alone and have to deal with it ...
Sorry this is an odd thread!

 

[Cattie]

Have you thought if using a doula? I'm not sure how much it costs (I would assume it's not cheap!), but it's someone who knows exactly what she's doing, but doesn't know you enough for it to be a problem her being at 'the business end'?

Otherwise, just try and stay calm and not panic. If the midwives know you're on your own they'll make sure you're ok. Could you speak to your midwife now and see if maybe you could meet a few of the midwives at the hospital? At least then there are some familiar faces.

Whatever happens honey, remember it'll all be worth it. Good luck, I hope it all goes ok xxx

 

[Linny]

Awww hun, I'm sorry your really nervous about the labor! I wish I could say something to make you feel better! Are you and FOB on good terms? I'm just thinking maybe he could be there to support you!

If not, I am sure the midwives will take very good care of you and that everything will be just fine

 

[TattooedMama]

I think it is important to have someone there to support you. If you can get a doula then that would be a good option. have you talked to any of your friends who you would be interested in having there with you about it? I'm sure they would be flattered and love to be there with you. If they are good friends they will make arrangements for their kids and be there for you so you don't have to be alone-they've been through it too so I'm sure they will sympathize. As for them seeing your body parts, they don't necessarily have to. It is easy enough for them to stand up by your shoulder and just hold your hand, again if they are good enough friends you can discuss this with them. I wouldn't worry about them seeing you too much though because by the end of your pregnancy and especially in labor you probably won't have any modesty left I never thought I would pull out a boob in front of my female in-laws to breastfeed but I did and I never thought twice about it. I hope you can find someone who can be there with you to support you honey!!!

 

[pinkneon]

I thought doula's were just for in America? Might look into it and see how much it is but I don't have a lot of money so am not hopeful about this.
No, FOB and I are not on good terms. And he doesn't want anything to do with the baby so I wouldn't want him there even if we were on good terms!
The problem with asking people who have young kids it's going to be difficult for them to arrange childcare for their children. I know when my baby is due but whether she'll comeon that day or not is a different matter! And if it's the middle of the night my friends are less likely to be able to sort someone out at short notice.
Also ... How do I get to the hospital when I am in labor? Is it ok to get a bus (as long as it's not too late and theyre still running ...) ... If it's late a taxi is gonna be very expensive ... Would it be ok to call an ambulance or is it not considered an emergancy?

 

[3011busyyear]

Just a thought but could you borrow a bump buddy who lives near you who you could meet a few times before the birth then they could come along and have a labour experience whilst supporting you at the same time.
Maybe someone a little behind you so they don't go into labour at the same time as you!
I'm up north so no use to you! And yes an ambulance would be acceptable in your situation.

 

[pinkneon]

Just a thought but could you borrow a bump buddy who lives near you who you could meet a few times before the birth then they could come along and have a labour experience whilst supporting you at the same time.
Maybe someone a little behind you so they don't go into labour at the same time as you!
I'm up north so no use to you! And yes an ambulance would be acceptable in your situation.

Never thought of that ...

 

[HGLyman]

I am sorry you are feeling so alone. I just want to reach through my computer and hug you!! You may want to consider a bump buddy like busyyear said, I also agree with her about the ambulance. Taking the bus maybe be a little risky, you never know what could happen on the bus, and a taxi would be very spendy. as far as the pain goes, and making it go away, the second that baby comes girl, the pain is gone and all your focus is going to be on your little angel girl!
I had a midwife, and she was wonderful, she was with me the entire time, and so super supportive. Everyone at the hospital was wonderful. maybe you should talk to your ob about your concerns...they could give you a better idea on what to expect.

 

[FlatShoes]

YES! Deffo call an ambulance.

I think i'll have to - OH doesn't drive and I won't be able to drive myself.

I agree - a bump buddy would be a lovely birth partner!

Or you could look on here https://www.doula.org.uk/

They also have a hardship fund for if you need one bu can't afford to pay/pay the full amount

https://www.doula.org.uk/content/duk/doulauk/Hardship_Fund.asp

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[SimplyRhi]

Only have two seconds to reply.. but FYI - a trainee Doula can only charge a maximum of £200 for expenses and Doula UK has lots of information.. Lots of Doulas are willing to negotiate fees also, it's about helping women and supporting them... (Doulas don't work for money.. they do it out of care and commitment to helping women)