January Jellybeans 2013!...

[mommyof2peas]

Ladies... I'm so frustrated. Little guy just won't nurse. I've been working with the lactation consultants and even they think he's stubborn. Overall he's a good baby but the second he's put on my breast he freaks and screams. I feel terrible and it's so stressful for both of us. Right now I'm pumping and giving him the breast milk but also trying to nurse. I'm about to throw in the towel an exclusively pump. I want to cry at every feeding and I don't want meal time to be that way. Dh ends up feeding him while I pump so I get screamed at and then hooked up to pump without actually getting to enjoy feeding him. At least if I pump I am still giving him breast milk but also get to spend good time with him...

Aww Im sorry your having such a hard time of it! I know there is nothing worse then wanting to feed your LO and they wont work with you. Only think you can do is to keep trying. But if your pumping and giving it to him, he is still getting all the good stuff

 

[DittyByrd]

Ladies... I'm so frustrated. Little guy just won't nurse. I've been working with the lactation consultants and even they think he's stubborn. Overall he's a good baby but the second he's put on my breast he freaks and screams. I feel terrible and it's so stressful for both of us. Right now I'm pumping and giving him the breast milk but also trying to nurse. I'm about to throw in the towel an exclusively pump. I want to cry at every feeding and I don't want meal time to be that way. Dh ends up feeding him while I pump so I get screamed at and then hooked up to pump without actually getting to enjoy feeding him. At least if I pump I am still giving him breast milk but also get to spend good time with him...

As I have said in previous posts, BFing is hard work and is very stressful at first. It gets better. I nearly cried at every feeding, too, because she couldn't latch well but it got better over time. I was so worried all the time.

I am sure the lactation consultants have helped more than I ever could, but perhaps he gets frantically hungry at first. Have you tried feeding him expressed milk then offering the breast once he's groggy? Sometimes Violet screams and avoids my breast when she's really insistent (makes no sense to me) and when I get a little milk on her lips she realizes what's going on.

IMHO, you're already giving the bottle so give him a break for a couple of days from trying to get him on the breast. Maybe try BFing once a feeding and abort mission when he fusses? If you are thinking you might have to pump exclusively, then you have nothing to lose. Reprogram him to make feedings enjoyable and you get to feed him and interact with him in a positive way???

I will be thinking of you.

 

[AJThomas]

So sorry you're having a rough time Aruppe. When you pump do u give it to him in a bottle? Maybe that's making him lazy at the breast? I dunno. Even when Cayde was in the hospital the nurses cup fed him expressed milk so he wouldn't get used to a bottle nipple and then refuse to latch.

Or maybe it's just one of those unexplainable things, in the last couple of days Cayde will latch and feed just fine, then when he's almost full, he suddenly can't seem to latch and gets frustrated and starts crying, especially on the left side. It can be so frustrating for the both of us, especially in the middle of the night when I can barely keep my head up. Its like he doesn't realize the breast is in his mouth and keeps searching for it and even when he does latch, he keeps pulling off and crying. Drives me almost to tears sometimes.

 

[ARuppe716]

We've tried all sorts of tactics... We have baited him, made him suck a finger before starting a bottle to get used to having to work for it, pumped a little and then put him on when I'm dripping, etc. It is constant frustration... Especially because e started so well but with being sick he just checked out of it and we can't get him back on. The bottles are slow flow and we've tried mixing back and forth between bottle and breast and also tried a nipple shield to fake him out. Nada. He just screams! I think it's just becoming a negative experience and I really don't want it to be. I'm glad he's at least getting breast milk. I'm just not sure what to do... I knew it would be really tough but I'm really not even enjoying any of it I really appreciate everyone's support- this mixed with hormones and having been in the same hospital room for 5 nights and missing te comfort of my house has made me quite a mess.

 

[sassy_mom]

We've tried all sorts of tactics... We have baited him, made him suck a finger before starting a bottle to get used to having to work for it, pumped a little and then put him on when I'm dripping, etc. It is constant frustration... Especially because e started so well but with being sick he just checked out of it and we can't get him back on. The bottles are slow flow and we've tried mixing back and forth between bottle and breast and also tried a nipple shield to fake him out. Nada. He just screams! I think it's just becoming a negative experience and I really don't want it to be. I'm glad he's at least getting breast milk. I'm just not sure what to do... I knew it would be really tough but I'm really not even enjoying any of it I really appreciate everyone's support- this mixed with hormones and having been in the same hospital room for 5 nights and missing te comfort of my house has made me quite a mess.

I can only imagine how all of that together makes things seem difficult. It is good that he is getting your milk but I can understand that you can't enjoy the experience. Maybe keep trying and hang in there. Maybe he'll have a change all of a sudden and decide yep I'd rather have a boob. I'm sorry you have been in the hospital for so long! DH had to go home tonight to be with DD as my mom couldn't stay out of work any longer. I miss him tons. I am so ready to be back home like you said with the comforts of my own house.

 

[DeedeeBeester]

It's so cool how it's slowly morphing into a parenting thread!

And to think I'm still preggers LOL tomorrow is D day, and still no baby. :/ Well, I go and see doctor tomorrow and I'm supposed to get an induction scheduled ASAP. But, I'm wondering when will it be... any ideas? I know the hospital has 13 labor suites... i'm nervous they'll tell me to go tomorrow, but would love if it was so hahahaha. Do you think they are enough suites for me to have a chance of going tomorrow? It's a new hospital, and not directly in the city... which I love.

I've been having a massive amount of tightening, back pains and cramps for a day and a half now. It started after I did 1 hour of breast pump yesterday. But they're at least 30 mins apart each. No bloody show or anything, so I think I'll make it fine to the appointment.

Happy Mommying to y'all, I know seeing your baby's pics makes me sigh in the thought that I want my Matthew here so bad!

 

[Kaiecee]

This baby seriously needs to b moving more so that I can calm down

 

[jrowenj]

Amanda- I'm sorry ur having a tough time feeding plus emotions plus being at the hospital so long. I can only imagine how upset u are! Just keep trying with the breastfeeding. I know know know its extremely frustrating but I trust that your lil man is gonna catch on. Just want to keep you supported through all of this, but if u do decide an alternate such as pumping or formula, don't beat urself up about it. Whatever u decide for your son is the right choice

Deedee- hoping you go into labor soon! I don't think they will decide to induce you tomorrow. They will prob schedule you for maybe a week past ur due date. That's just a guess though! Maube u will get a sweep done tmrw and go into labor in the next cpl days!

Kaiecee- I'm sure he's fine and just getting ready to raise hell and break loose!

 

[Lillian33]

Oh Aruppe I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with the feeding, I understand how stressful it must be for all of you if you can hang in there for a few more days but as Jrow said, never beat yourself up about it. The other ladies have had some good advice, Stay strong, hugs

Kaicee, hope your LO has a big wiggle soon.

DeeDee!!!!!! Hope you go into labour on your due date! That way you don't have to worry about inductions or sweeps, wouldn't that be LOVELY!!!!

xxx

 

[chattyB]

I've not been on here for AGES so I apologise if I've missed info etc - has he been checked properly for tongue-tie? Posterior tongue tie in particular is pretty hard to spot but can lead to baby not being able to extend the tongue far enough forward to latch comfortably and extract milk. Just a Thought?

AFM - 40 weeks today an have the feeling that baby is just far too comfy in there!!

 

[BlossomJ]

ARuppe - Sounds like it's really tough for you at the moment. They can be so stubborn can't they?! and it's so hard not knowing what the issue is. I'm glad you have good support from the lactation consultants - even though it's not happening at least you know you are trying the right things. Really hope you get home & feel better soon. I can imagine how you must be feeling. Hang in there

Deedee - I think they might book you in, but agree that maybe they'll offer a sweep to try & get things going in the next few days before intervening. Hope it happens soon for you & all the other 40wk+ girls.

Brieri & JCh - Sounds like you're close!

How are you doing today Melly? Anything happen overnight?

AFM - I'm not joking when I say I'm pretty sure I'll still be pregnant this time next month That is unless I'm induced first. It's going to be weird when everyone else has their babies & I'm still waiting!

 

[BlossomJ]

Mommyof2 - Sorry he is worrying you. Hopefully not too long to go now. If you're concerned you should go back in & get checked, but I know it's a pain!

 

[ARuppe716]

Thanks everyone... I am so grateful for the staff here and will miss their help even though I am counting the hours until we leave. I think what is frustrating is there really isn't a problem. He nursed great in the beginning and the nursing staff were all excited about how great he was. He can latch fine and has a great suck reflex. He's just choosing not to. He will literally clamp his lips and jaw shut when around my breasts. We had the nursery take him tonight with pumped milk to try and get a little sleep before going home and I'm hoping that with a little rest we may be able to get back on track. I meet with lactation again as well in te morning. I think you all have the best advice to just relax and not beat myself up. I can tell I'm getting frustrated and I'm sure it's frustrating him in return.

 

[Betheney]

There's no problem in pumping exclusively and relaxing and calming down and then trying to latch again.

If it makes you feel any better the nurses in the nursery told me that nipple confusion doesn't really happen as much as people think.

As for exclusively pumping and feeding him yourself. You don't need to pump AS he feeds and have your hubby feed him. Give him milk from the previous pump session feed it to him yourself and then when you're done, pump after the feed. This is what i did with Remi while he was in hospital. But you are kind of doing two lots at once. I would spend 40minutes feeding Remi and then 40 minutes pumping. Its very time consuming. Remember to pump at least 15 minutes and not just until the milk stops coming, you need to pump even when nothing is coming to keep up that supply. They say to pump for 5 minutes after your last drop but i did that and found i was pumping for 15 minutes then for 20 minutes because i was still getting milk at the 15 minute mark and then i ended up at 25 minutes because i was still getting milk at the 20 minute mark. So i ended up with a monstrous supply of like a 1 litre per day.

 

[mellywelly]

Amanda, this sounds like my experience with ds, it was so awful. I got the same explanation, there was no reason why he couldn't feed, just stubborn, lol he still is! I only managed 1 feed in hospital (5 nights) and then strangely he had 1 feed as soon as we came home. There was nothing more i could have done to get him to feed from me, like you are , we tried everything, my only regret is that I gave in pumping and went on formula. Stick with it as long as you can, the nurses told me that sometimes the babies will sometimes just start feeding when you get them home. Remember you are not doing anything wrong, you've not failed, sometimes these things just happen no matter what. He's still getting your milk, it doesn't really matter how he receives it!

AFM, still nothing happening. I'm really struggling to get up and walk now, its so painful.

 

[darkstar]

Still pregnant here too, nothing happening.

 

[mellywelly]

And deedee, you can get in line Mrs I'm next to pop lol

 

[Betheney]

Aruppe also find solace in the fact that you are trying your hardest and doing your best and even if it doesn't work then you're going to try something a hell of alot harder which is exclusively pumping. jump onto the breastfeeding threads and there's a sticky about exclusively pumping there is alot of great information on it that made me understand how my breasts work. Keep in mind never to go longer than 6 hours between pumping sessions ideally you'll do every 3 hours during the day and every 4 at night... well that was the strict regimen they had me on when Remi was in hospital BUT he WAS feeding every 3 hours so then it makes sense doesn't it. Establishing our supply in the early weeks is very crucial because i think it sets it up long term.

As for not latching... it's only my own personal opinion but i think nipples have to be perfect for breastfeeding or it's impossible sometimes.

 

[Betheney]

Aruppe

I have one more suggestion and i really hope you try it. Just do some skin to skin contact. I think everyone suggesting you relax is a good point. Just an hour before a feed when he's awake or not awake. Just strip the both of you off and stick him on your chest.

Just have some one on one relaxing lovely cuddles, with no pressure on either of you and just some nice time together. It will get him used to your chest in a relaxing situation.

Remi was 33 weeks and they told me would have no sucking reflex, a friend highly suggested i do skin to skin as she knew someone with 29weekers who said it made a big difference and sure enough i put Remi to my chest and we just snuggled for about 3 hours and he suddenly just started looking for my boob and searching and wanting to feed so i asked the midwife should i see if he wants it and i shifted him slightly so he could find it and sure enough he found the nipple latched and started sucking. It was all incredibly natural. He wasn't latched properly and i knew that but i was so effing excited. Your little boy has instincts to feed. Maybe if he's hungry but isn't being held in the cradled position and you just allow him naturally to search for the breast maybe it might help. Even if he doesn't do it the first time it's really good for mums and babies to have lots and lots of skin to skin. The nurses in the nursery were adament that it increases your supply even though the baby isn't feeding when it happens they say your body knows it has it's baby on your chest and it just promotes making breastmilk. Google skin to skin or kangaroo care.

 

[mammaspath]

Water broke 5 hours ago..........back labor :/