Jealous of other pregnant ladies?

[kirstybumx3]

am I completely crazy?
why do I find myself jealous of other pregnant ladies?


I think it starts with my SIL, she is 13 days ahead of me, shes having a girl and im having a boy. we are both having MIL first grandchildren, but she gets every single drop of attention! ever conversation that occurs with the in laws is about SIL and her pregnancy, and ours is rarely mentioned. if it is, its because I make an effort to bring it up, but even then the conversation turns to SIL!!!
I understand that she is her daughter, but my OH is also her son! and I think we should be treated equally!
I just hope there wont be any favouritism of sorts when the babies are born, she can be as much up her daughters ass as she likes but MIL will NOT neglect my son I wont allow it!!

anyway, back to the jealousy..
I cant help but feel a little jealous of SIL, her bump is so high and round, and BIG! she looks pretty much due, in fact she has done since the start.
me on the other hand, im carrying right around my stomach, low, and not very 'bumpish' at all, in some clothes I just look bloated and fat!

then theres other people, I look other pregnant people and everyone seems to pull it off so much better than I do! all these lovely bumps in the threads on here, and mine is just horrible! I still look fat

I knew id get stretch marks but I guess I wasnt prepared for what is going on with me right now. I thought I was lucky getting just stretch marks on my hips, over old ones from pre pregnancy... until I got out of the shower yesterday and looked in a full mirror to discover I have them all over my vagina and the tops of my legs!!!!!!
then I noticed one coming on the front of my stomach, and one on my bellybutton. im 27 weeks, im going to be covered!!!

I think im just feeling sorry for myself, and im probably (definitely) being over the top and ridiculous..
but does anyone else get bump envy???? or am I crazy???

 

[iwantabub]

Oh Huni don't feel bad...

I'm just gonna say I'm one of "those" women.., I'm carrying like I swallowed a basketball... It's a perfect bump on my belly and from
Behind u can't tell I'm any different at all.... I have been told Constantly how perfect my body looks pregnant etc etc...

Telling u right now... I really don't give a rats ass at 3 am when I'm up for the billionth time peeing and vomiting and trying to make my heart burn go away and then not being able to sleep again...

I've probably only not put on weight coz I been so damn sick the whole time ... Vomited 10-20 times a day until 18 weeks then at least 1 or 2 times a day until now and still....

I did used to see other women when I was earlier on and be jealous of how perfect they looked...

Now I'm nearly at the end I can tell ya... Totally over it.. Coz I've realised ... I'm more jealous of the people who haven't been sick etc than the people who look good.,,

My other half used to say "find a gorgeous woman and ill find a man that's sick of her shit" I've now changed that saying to "find a perfect pregnant woman and ill bet she's sick of being pregnant" lol
Hope that helps

Don't feel bad btw... Jealousy is a healthy feeling and u shouldn't feel guilty

And as far as ur sil... Don't worry these things usually work themselves out.. I hope all goes ok for u

 

[ShirlWirl]

Yeah - my bump is not rounded like last time. I wore a dress the other day and loads of people came up to me to say congratulations they didn't realise I was pregnant! People think I'm just putting weight on! My friend has a lovely round and obvious bump

 

[Fortune Cooki]

It seems better to carry low, because then maybe you will engage on time and can avoid induction. I find it funny how some ladies complain that the MIL is too interested in the baby and annoying while others are worried about not receiving enough attention. No one can ever be satisfied. Oh the nature of being human. Jealousy is a common thing, but seriously so not worth it. I mean, what a waste of time! Try focusing on positive things. Let's start with: You are pregnant! Wow! Some people can't get pregnant. Comparing yourself to others is not going to do you any good. Love yourself, your wonderful bump and son-to-be. If your MIL conspicuously prefers one kid over the other, it's her loss. She'll miss out on how amazing your son is. What's important is that you love him and enjoy him.

 

[Fermerswife]

Hi there,

I can empathise with much of what you're saying. My SIL had a baby a few months ago and it is all I ever hear about morning, noon and night. My baby will be forever compared to hers and it's doing my head in already. When she was pregnant it's all I ever heard about and that was after I'd just had a MMC at 12 weeks. Very difficult to deal with. I'm not jealous of her but the lack of interest in my baby (her son's baby) drives me a bit potty. I have now realised that I just need to let it go, I wouldn't want her interfering the way she does with my SIL's baby so maybe her lack of interest is better in the longer run, you know? And you don't want to look back on your pregnancy and just think about how jealous you were.

As for the bumps, well my SIL just had a bump, apparently I have just spread out all over, but you know what, who cares? As long as baby arrives safely and is happy and healthy will it matter what sort of bump you had? In a few short weeks the bumps will be gone so don't worry about that. You never know she may have lots of stretch marks too!

 

[Zfbaby]

I'm not so much jealous of pregnant women now. Through the years of trying I was, any pregnant woman high bump, low bump, big, small would get me very jealous. Now I'm more jealous I the women who have had their babies safely. I have a c-section in a few days and I'm
Still scared of coming to the end with nothing, coming home to an empty nursery.
On the other side I understand lack of interest from family. Mil and sfil are awesome and very excited for us but dhs dad doesn't seem bothered at all.
I say concentrate on the end, having YOUR healthy baby and what sil is up to won't bother you anymore. Good luck

 

[Dani_Ldn]

My other half used to say "find a gorgeous woman and ill find a man that's sick of her shit" I've now changed that saying to "find a perfect pregnant woman and ill bet she's sick of being pregnant" lol

Best saying ever!

 

[Super sun]

When hubby and I were ttc I was jealous of pregnant women, now I feel lucky. Don't get me wrong I'm tired and all . As faras MIL I'm kinda glad I don't have to deal w her at all but I know the crap she pulls hurts my oh which is what really gets me.

 

[kirstybumx3]

Thank you all for your replies ladies, I do feel completely ridiculous for feeling the way I do, and I know deep down inside that I wouldn't change a thing, I guess im just being fussy.
I love my bump, and I will learn to love my stretch marks, this is the way MY baby boy is making me look, and if I looked any different then it wouldn't be because of him would it? I love him unconditionally already and do not resent him in any way for making me look different to how I had imagined. (feeling super guilty now for even moaning)
and I also wouldn't like MIL interfering because id soon tell her where to go, so maybe it is a good thing that she keeps her distance, I just hope the babies are treated the same long term xx

 

[meli1981]

i have inlaws who moved to another province to be closer to sils kids. they did this while i was pregnant with my second. we had just moved to be closer to them, and they had lived there for thirty odd years. but because sil decided to move far away, they had to follow. at first it realky bothered me, having to hear about how she sees her kids everyday and keeps them overnight all the tine etc., but now im kinda glad as it has eased alot of tension between husband and me. we fight alot less! it can be a good thing

 

[HHenderson]

Gosh yes. There are pregnant ladies everywhere in the stores and their bumps are perfect and round and beautiful and I just look like a fat ass gaining more weight. I wont even bring up or tell anyone Im pregnant because I feel disgusting and embarrassed.

 

[_jellybean_]

Why don't you have a chat with her, and tell her how you feel? Do you think she'd be receptive?

 

[dizzy65]

 

[cantwaitforu]

Hope your mil knows how lucky she is to be getting two grandchildren. My mil only had boys, so she is very conscious of spreading the love equally among them and to her grandchildren.

I would treat both grand kids the same, but I do understand that a mother-daughter relationship is different and is highlighted when a daughter gets married or pregnant. Totally not justifying mils behavior bit she may not even know she is doing it.

You will be so in love with your son, and you will see that nothing anyone can do can take that away from you, so other ppls bull **** matters less.

 

[Emma867]

A colleague of mine seems to have bump envy...of my bump!

It's been really tough. We are 4wks apart, I started showing early, she still doesn't have much of a bump. Everyone comments on my bump and nobody mentions Claire's because you can't see it!

She is really busty which disguises it where as I'm not so blessed.

Bump envy is not all its cracked up to be. I've had sickness, problem scans, a CVS, coccyx pain etc where she has had nothing. Not one episode of sickness, no horrid maternity clothes nothing!

So next time you have bump envy and think of how 'perfect' she looks, she has probably been having a rough time lol xx

 

[MrsStutler]

You're not alone! I get jealous over some of the dumbest stuff and DH has no problems pointing this out to me.

My SIL had the perfect freakin pregnancy compared to my first. They had no insurance and yet only had to pay $4,000 for their baby's birth, whereas we had insurance and ended up paying $10,000 out of pocket (we're not rich and are still in massive debt right now). Then she had NO problems at all with pregnancy and I was sick, in pain and having issues with early bleeding and contractions. She had to be induced but had four hours of active labor and pushed for 20min; I had to be induced and had 18 hours of active labor and pushed for 2 hours. She took to breastfeeding perfectly with no issues; I spent the first 3 weeks biting down on a wooden spoon to keep from screaming and fought a low supply. Her baby sleeps ALL the time, including through the night from day 1; my son was up every 2 hours like clockwork. I don't ask my MIL to babysit our son anymore because I feel like she'd rather watch the "perfect grandchild" over our insane little boy. Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say WTF?!

I'm also really jealous of my best friend who is 6 weeks behind me right now. We've always been very close and like sisters but my mother is constantly buying her things and fawning over her. She is also getting a lot of attention since it's her first and I'm kind of ignored because it's my second.

It's silly, yes, and we all know it but sometimes you just can't help it!

 

[Kellya009]

I understand completely what you're saying.

My SIL is due 2 weeks after me, and her 1st/2nd tris were perfect. Whereas I had 24/7 MS, hormonal acne, indigestion, and diagnosed with GD. However now in 3rd tri she has swollen up like a pumpkin and I dont have a bit of swelling. So I'm sure she's jealous of me in that regard.

But she is so talkative, that she could talk for hours about herself and her pregnancy, whereas I'm a lot shier, so I don't bring my pregnancy up very often. Luckily we are both daughters in law so MIL isn't showing any favoritism in our case.

Honestly once your baby is here I think your MIL would be crazy to show any favoritism. Grandmas love all their grand kids in my experience! Whether from a daughter or a daughter in law.

 

[HopefulCookie]

omg, people think I'm just putting weight on. I'm huge now and I waddle. I look pregnant to me though and I'm proud of my bump, to me, its perfectly round. I have a big behind though. I don't have that nice figure like others who look totally normal from behind. I do get jealous of them but it is what it is. Hopefully I can loose the weight after baby. I really dislike the waddling.

My pet peeve being compared. My pregnancy is constantly compared to my brother-in-laws wife, as to how horrible its been for her and so on and I should think myself lucky that I haven't had it bad. I just don't like calling MIL and SIL up crying about my every little issue.