jealous of pregnant people

[cutiegirl11]

i really wont a baby but me and my partner are trying to save up money to get a place together. every time i see a pregnant women i feel so jealous cause that's what i wont.it seem be getting worst its making me depressed.i don't know what to do iv tried to babysit someone else child but it just make it worst.i already work with kids and that doesn't help.i need advice how to get rid of this jealousy.

 

[Redfraggle]

No advise. I've never got control of my jealousy with that.

 

[Biscuitbaby]

I have two and been ttc my 3rd and I still get jealous!

 

[Eleanor ace]

I felt like this until I was pregnant with my 1st, I felt awful because I was just so jealous, even of complete strangers. Things that helped me were buying little bits for when we did have a baby (little items of clothing mostly) and I put money into savings to buy baby things. I spent time around babies and children in the hope that they would make me glad to wait a bit longer .

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I was like before I got pregnant with my daughter. And she was a total shock. We weren't supposed to be trying until this September.

Now I feel the same about people getting engaged. Especially now it's just been Christmas it seems like loads of people are announcing their engagement xx

 

[x Michelle x]

i have 2 and i still get jealous!

 

[smokey]

You cant get rid of it, best you can do is try to control it.
I tried for 8 years for our son so believe me I know how jelousy can take over.
All you can do is keep reminding yourself that you are building towards a future and working towards your prize at the end, you will get there eventualy and the waiting will then seem like nothing and as if it never happened.

 

[Boothh]

When we were ttc our second I had the jealousy soo badly! Made worse by the fact I had 4 mc, when I eventually had him I didn't have it at all, then he hit 6 months and started becoming less and less newborn it's back even though I know DH has said we arnt even allowed to think about another til he's 2 I still feel like that! I know we need to be sensible because I don't know if we could even realistically afford three children but I still feel jealous when I hear of friends getting pregnant etc! I was speaking to my mum about it and she said she still feels like that now an my youngest sister is 13, we decided it must be instinct and normal to feel like that while your of a fertile age x

 

[Sinead]

No advice as i still get jealous and have 2 children with no plans for any more

 

[shelx]

Don't think you're the green monster or anything it's a completely normal feeling

 

[shirlls]

I swing between feeling like you do and not feeling like that, I just don't know what I want, lol. One minute I am really craving having a 2nd child even though my LO is only 4 months old, and the next minute I am thinking, 'one is enough' .

I had a c-section with a large blood transfusion having my LO and I've been advised to wait 18 months to ttc again so maybe it is the 'wanting what you can't have' thing I have going on. I also had 2 mcs before LO and I guess I am also worried having the next one won't be so easy.

But, yes I totally get what you mean, as I do feel like this a lot too. Think it is all those hormones running around loose!

x

 

[TwilightAgain]

I just remind myself that when their time has been and gone - all the new excitement then ill still have it to look forward to

 

[alicecooper]

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[beth_terri]

I'm like it now and I've got a 3 year old and a 5 month old. One born every minute starts soon but I think its gona make me feel sick watching it!

 

[x Michelle x]

I kinda wish i was pregnant again, give birth, have a sleepy baby for a few days then it magically turns into a well behaved 2 year old

 

[Tasha]

I dont think it is jealousy as such, but rather envious. You wouldnt take what they have away from them but would like you to have it too.

I have been trying for nearly 4.5 years now, and had twelve miscarriages and a stillbirth in that time and to try and gain control of my envy I just tell myself I dont know that persons story, I dont know if they have tried for a long time, I dont know if they've had loses, I dont know what pain they carry. It helps, mostly.

 

[Tasha]

well I'll be honest, I'm really jealous of non-pregnant people. I didn't want any more after my third, and I'm still not happy about the fact that I'm pregnant.
I'm trying to get over it, because what's done is done, but when all's said and done I really wish I wasn't pregnant.

I am so sorry you feel like this. I understand that these are your feeling (and much like the people who feel envious of those who are pregnant) you cant help them, but I cant help but think it was a little insensitive of you to post this in a thread where people are saying they would give anything to be pregnant.

Have you thought about counselling to help you come to terms with it all?

 

[alicecooper]

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I'll delete my post then. I'm sorry I'm not allowed to say how I feel. I'd appreciate it if you would unquote me.

edited to add : the OP's situation was nothing like yours though. She has a choice to be pregnant, but she's choosing to wait. So in replying to the OP, no I didn't think I was being insensitive. You came along and posted after me. I'm sorry you've had such difficulties. No I'm not going to get counselling. I'm just going to get on with it.

 

[Tasha]

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I'll delete my post then. I'm sorry I'm not allowed to say how I feel. I'd appreciate it if you would unquote me.

edited to add : the OP's situation was nothing like yours though. She has a choice to be pregnant, but she's choosing to wait. So in replying to the OP, no I didn't think I was being insensitive. You came along and posted after me. I'm sorry you've had such difficulties. No I'm not going to get counselling. I'm just going to get on with it.

I didnt mention anything about my circumstances at all, so not sure why you made the presumption that I was talking about me, I wasnt I was talking about the OP (who clearly feels she has to wait) and other people on the thread who have been TTC for ages and would give anything to be pregnant.

The counselling was a genuine suggestion, I thought it might help.

Any way I am sorry I upset you.

 

[alicecooper]

I didnt mention anything about my circumstances at all, so not sure why you made the presumption that I was talking about me, I wasnt I was talking about the OP (who clearly feels she has to wait) and other people on the thread who have been TTC for ages and would give anything to be pregnant.

The counselling was a genuine suggestion, I thought it might help.

Any way I am sorry I upset you.

You didn't upset me. I've been there and done the 'jealous of pregnant people' thing. We tried for a 8 months to TTC number 2, and whilst that might not seem like a very long time in the grand scheme of things, during that time I was jealous of pregnant people.

But it's just as difficult when you get pregnant unexpectedly (despite being careful), and your circumstances are absolutely not right for having another baby, yet people tell you how lucky you are, and congratulate you all the time.

I was coming at this from a different perspective is all. So many women here say they're jealous of pregnant women. I was pointing out that, in some cases, there's really nothing to be jealous of. If I could swap places with somebody who has been trying for a baby for a long time, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I can't.

Somehow though, if you are pregnant yet you don't want to be, you are apparently not allowed to say how you feel because you're being insensitive. Yet on the other hand it's seemingly fine the other way round, for somebody who is not delighted about being pregnant to be told all the time how lucky they are. That's fine, so it would seem.

There's a certain sods law to life sometimes.

But no you didn't upset me. This thread didn't upset me. And I didn't post to be insensitive - I posted to show that you can't necessarily be jealous of people if you don't know their situation. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.