Jealousy Issues

[hope4bbyno1]

Alrighty, so to some, this is going to sound horrible. But to me, this is how I feel, and I'm not sure if I'm the only one who feels this way. My ex-husband and I TTC for 3 years with no luck, not even a miscarriage or anything. My fiance and I have been NTNP for 2 years now with 3 miscarriages. I have really low progesterone, and we haven't gone further into getting medical treatment for this (other than possibly trying Fertibella)... But everytime I see someone have a BFP I get happy for the, yet I am so incredibly jealous. Maybe it's wrong of me, but I want to be able to feel what it feels like to find out you're pregnant, to go thru the entire pregnancy and labor and be able to have a child. Is this wrong of me to feel this way? I am 26, and it just seems like EVERYONE else is getting pregnant, yet it's something that will never happen to me. I've wanted nothing more than to be a mommy for so long. I get phantom symptoms literally every month. It's like my body is tricking me.... Ugh!!! Is this type of feeling normal???

 

[nic18]

this is completely normal when ttc or ntnp! you are defiantly not alone

 

[dairymomma]

I've been there (7mc total) and it's TOTALLY normal to feel that way. You are happy they got their bfp but you are thinking, too, of your still empty arms. I also can tell you, after having so many m/c, that the joy of a BFP is totally gone for me. I find out I'm pg again and I spend the next four months running to the toilet every time I think I feel a twinge or a cramp, expecting to find blood. I hope it's different for you but for me, that innocent happy expectant feeling is forever lost. Good luck and lots of sticky lucky baby dust being sent your way!

 

[hope4bbyno1]

Thanks ladies! My fiance and I just talked it over, and we are going to try Fertibella starting December, in hopes that it might work for us.... idk if it will, and he's still on edge about even having a baby b/c of how many m/c's we've had and b/c he doesn't think we are financially set enough. My AF isn't actually due until the 21st of this month and yesterday I started getting light light bleeding. Extremely light pink and I had a twinge of cramping last night, but so far it hasn't been anything with clotting or whatever. It would be pretty damn exciting to be able to tell my family that we conceived w/o the treatments, but either way, at this point, I wouldn't care. I even considered that if we never get pregnant, having my sister be a surrogate for me. She has already agreed to it, but to me, I don't want a baby that way. I want to feel it all. It's just so hard to think about all these people having their babies, and I am so happy for them, yet it's just not fair to me. When will it finally be my turn? When will I be lucky enough to call a child my own and give birth? Someday....