Just aaaaaaaagh!

[summer rain]

I just got a call (yes at this ungodly hour) from the *other* homebirth midwife in the team. She asked me if I got the consultant appointment through the post I said yes I have, but I have changed my mind she then said she if I am not willing to see the consultant her colleagues and her SOM would then like to come down and lecture me about how dangerous it is for me to have the baby at home and how they wouldn't advise it themselves and how I should be going into the consultant led unit and be on a drip so that they can dose me up on syntometrine at the end. I said I don't think you understand, I don't want a homebirth anymore as I have been out off to be honest and asked about my plan to have the baby at one of two birthing centres.

She gleefully said that no birthing centre would ever allow me to give birth in their unit even if attached to a hospital, including the one at my local hospital where any problems it's just a case of walking upstairs she said because of this being my fifth baby and because of my history of 'big' babies. FFS, one baby just under 10lb which is still within the normal weight range doesn't =history of 'big' babies . I am sick to the back teeth of these midwives basing risks on their own whims and fancies, they have certain cut off figures for a reason and they just ignore them and whatever they personally think to be high risk they go with that. I said my youngest was only 8lb 2 which is only slightly above the typical uk average and she said 'oh well still a large baby then'. I think if he had been 5lb 2 she would have said the same! She then told me off for not having the GTT (again) and told me any new hospital I go to will make me have the GTT (which again I think is most likely to be bollocks as two midwives from this hospital said it was totally not needed for me to have it not to mention it can be refused). She then let it slip she would not only have to cancel the consultant appointment but also the high risk bed/suite they had lined up for me. I really honestly think now that if they didn't succeed in me agreeing to not having a homebirth via either the consultant appointment or their visit to my home to try to change my mind, that they had plans to either on the day not turn up and just tell me to go to the CLU or to make me transfer at some point during labour or after having my baby. They don't pre book/reserve beds under normal circumstances do they? I am feeling really really disheartened now (well in combination with my blood being on fire) why on earth are these women in this job in the first place again? Xx

 

[summer rain]

Btw my mum had less opposition to her home birth in the mid 80s and it was also her fifth baby! In her case they were more bothered about her age (although she was only 34) than anything else. Absolutely ridiculous xx

 

[irish_cob]

So what are your plans Summer?

I think it's ridiculous that your choices are basically CLU or home, I would love to go to a birthing centre but because of my high BMI and being a VBAC, I can't. So I either have to choose home, which I'd love but still makes me a bit nervous, or CLU which I don't really want at all It's not fair!

 

[LoraLoo]

Not sure what to say hun, so sorry you have been 'bullied' into something you didnt want, that Midwife you spoke to sounds awful x

 

[GrowingMum]

Im not sure how things work over there as I'm in the US, but is it possible for you to speak with someone at the birth center you would like to attend? Maybe they would have different information for you? Good luck. I hope you get the birth you want. Keep standing up for yourself.

 

[summer rain]

I have asked at the birth centres and two don't allow anyone having anything later than their fourth baby and the other one attached to the hospital near my in laws' place doesn't allow anyone having anything later than their third. So birth centre as an option is completely out. The stand alone one and the one near my in laws i can understand a bit because a transfer may take time, even though the one near my in laws is in the same hospital, the hospital has a weird design which means that to get from the birth centre to the main labour ward you have to take two different lots of lifts and walk for about 15 minutes. The one at my local hospital though I cannot understand it at all as the birrh centre is on the same floor as the normal labour ward in what is quite a small maternity unit.

Irish cob, it is totally ridiculous. It doesn't help that now birth centres are the ones being invested in, which is a good thing, but it isn't really fair if a lot of mums are excluded from using them. My local hospital had to rely on a generous personal donation from the former mayor just to buy vital equipment like heart monitors and dopplers as the NHS wouldn't pay for these, yet the birth centre though small is well equipped and regularly redecorated, has new equipment added etc. I know some have policies that if you have ever had pre-eclampsia, an assisted delivery or anything remotely high risk with a previous pregnancy they won't let you in either regardless of how healthy your current pregnancy has been (or even if that happened with baby number one and you're now on number 3 or 4). Xx

 

[summer rain]

Right now I am looking at going to the CLU probably the one near my in-laws. When I am referred back to my community midwife which will hopefully be in time for my 38 week appointment next week, I will have a chat with her and see if there are any other options. She was given the impression that I would have been allowed to have my baby in the birth centre at the local hospital, as was the other midwife on the home birth team so I will just double check with my community midwife that there really is absolutely no way or if they have bent the rules in the past and whether this would be possible again. The CLU near my in laws has some advantages though should a CLU be my only option xx

 

[summer rain]

Just another update. Community midwife phoned and sounded upset and disappointed she said that the home birth team had told her I am being referred back to her because I am not allowed a home birth based on me being a grand multipara. Which really adds to my suspicion that their plan was to somehow sabotage me having a home birth at all. I said they never told me in not allowed per se yet but they certainly tried to make it virtually impossible by trying to make me see a consultant and then when that was refused threatening to bring the SOM and several other heavies to my flat to bully me out of it. I said to her that I won't be able to have the baby in any of the birth centres either. She said come and see her on Wednesday and we will see what we can do. I also told her about my possible plans to transfer and she said we will sort it out on Wednesday whatever I decide. Honestly you have no idea how relieved I was to hear her voice, positive and not the voice of doom and gloom! Xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Just another update. Community midwife phoned and sounded upset and disappointed she said that the home birth team had told her I am being referred back to her because I am not allowed a home birth based on me being a grand multipara. Which really adds to my suspicion that their plan was to somehow sabotage me having a home birth at all. I said they never told me in not allowed per se yet but they certainly tried to make it virtually impossible by trying to make me see a consultant and then when that was refused threatening to bring the SOM and several other heavies to my flat to bully me out of it. I said to her that I won't be able to have the baby in any of the birth centres either. She said come and see her on Wednesday and we will see what we can do. I also told her about my possible plans to transfer and she said we will sort it out on Wednesday whatever I decide. Honestly you have no idea how relieved I was to hear her voice, positive and not the voice of doom and gloom! Xx

She sounds great, if she is supportive, could she not attend a home birth herself? x

 

[summer rain]

She can but in this area only as a back up midwife for the 'proper' home birth midwives who are in that team that didnt want me having a home birth and not in an equal role but as a back up who comes to help at the pushing stage. They have rejigged all the boundaries here and with my youngest my community midwife was working for a different hospital and health authority and she used to attend home births with another community midwife. I was meant to have my youngest at home but there was 5 foot of snow blocking our road, and she couldnt get to us, we could only get out as we had a big American car at the time. She isn't authorised by the SOM to attend home births on her own or with another community midwife even though she is a far more experienced midwife than either of them in the (anti) home birth team xx

 

[LoraLoo]

She can but in this area only as a back up midwife for the 'proper' home birth midwives who are in that team. They have rejigged all the boundaries here and with my youngest my community midwife was working for a different hospital and health authority and she used to attend home births with another community midwife. She isn't authorised by the SOM to attend home births on her own or with another community midwife even though she is a far more experienced midwife than either of them xx

Really hope you get somewhere when you see her, if its truly what you want, you shouldn't back down. Will you keep us updated how it goes? x

 

[summer rain]

Will do xx

 

[MandaAnda]

I know it's late in pregnancy, but I'd be getting in touch with AIMS and BirthRights, etc. x

 

[summer rain]

I will drop them an email. It does seem from the birthrights site that as I was told by two, no actually three different midwives during my pregnancy and also by my referring GP that I would be able to have the baby in a birth centre that legally I was given a 'reasonable expectation' that would be the case and it is only if they have strong reasons that they can now refuse me, but it seems that the grand multipara thing could be argued to be a strong enough reason for refusal by the NHS trusts involved. A friend has just been to tour one of the birth centres today and was told that on occasion they can and do bend the rules at their discretion especially if a woman turns up there in established labour and it would be tricky to move her, but it depends on the midwives on duty at the time and some are less compromising than others and its impossible to know in advance which type of staff will be there at the time! Xx

 

[MandaAnda]

Let us know how you get on. And I think this group is worth joining: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HomeBirthersAndHopefuls/

 

[summer rain]

I already joined the Facebook group but left it as the majority of replies I got weren't exactly helpful, plus the attitude was home birth is the only option worth considering when right now if given the choice I would prefer a birth centre for various reasons, thanks anyway though xx

 

[summer rain]

AIMs seems to have contradictory info on their site saying birth centres can legitimately set whatever risk policies they wish and though they should negotiate they are under no obligation to let you birth there, so a bit confusing :/ xx

 

[summer rain]

Just been to my midwife appointment, community midwife said that there had been some cases in this area recently of women haemorrhaging after a home birth though these women weren't even considered higher risk in any way, and maybe the home birth midwives were scared of getting blamed if anything went wrong, but at the same time they had really pressed her to refer women for home births and said even higher risk ladies are welcome and community midwife said they shouldn't really say that as it isn't true and they should set out their stall first and if they have ladies they aren't keen to consider they should make that clear from the start. Then the woman can make an informed decision as to whether she wants to press ahead for a home-birth or just to leave it and choose another option.

She said whichever CLU I give birth in they are both pretty much equal now as both have been done up and had extra equipment put in, in the past few months and the quality of care has really improved in both, but it may be better to go to my in laws as soon as possible as otherwise if I go into labour here I then have to wait for my in laws to collect the other kids or for my OH to take them there, which may just take too long as my in laws live 10 miles away, whereas at my in laws the kids are already there being looked after and OH can take me to hospital ASAP. She said though that instead of doing a proper transfer I should just turn up at the other hospital when in labour, as I have previously been under that hospital's NHS trust anyway so will be in their records and she said there is a lot of communication between the two trusts anyway because they have services in each other's areas so its not like two trusts miles away from each other who have nothing at all to do with one another. Xx

 

[summer rain]

Just an update. The hospital which that home birth team are linked to have now been severely criticised by the care quality commission in two inspections carried out in May and June. It has been all over the news in the past few days. One of the reports dealt with maternity services and that one said urgent improvement or immediate action was required in pretty much every area of care.

Furthermore when reading the CQC report it criticised the home birth team, stating that they told a mother that she could not have a home birth in front of everyone in the ante natal clinic waiting room-when a consultant just minutes before had said they saw no reason why she couldn't have a home birth! Naturally this left this lady embarassed and confused. So not just me who has had run ins with these particular midwives. Hopefully as they were mentioned in the report, they will be dealt with and removed from the role if it is found they have treated others in a similar way. In the end I decided to give birth in hospital and the other hospital near my in laws as I just had a bad feeling about the local one. Reading this report now, I am so glad I made that decision xx