Glad to hear you are ok. Tensing can lead to increased pain, like in labour. The more you relax, the less pain you feel. Easier said then done but good to start practicing now
I was never asked if I wanted an internal check. When I was in labour, she didn't even tell me she was going to stick her hand up there, it was kind of like "ooh.. erm ok, whatever"They'll have to do it eventually anyway and it's probably not AS BAD as I thought it was at the time. I was just really shocked because I wasn't expecting it to be more than a pinch