Just come back from Playgroup Sports day in tears!

[hypnorm]

So angry and upset, was having a lovely time, until i saw Ewan push one of the other kids over. Now the other kid we have known since about 3 months old and he is 6 weeks younger than Ewan.
I saw the mum glare over and called her hubby ' Ewan just pushed him over look' I thought to my self for christ sake they are not even 3 yrs old yet! they are bound to push each other etc but i felt like poo.
The morning went on and ewan had fun and was playing with the other kids between races, but him and this other lad seem to have made friends and the play group have told me they tend to antagonise each other so they try to keep them seperate.
Anywa the mother looked like thunder for the rest of the morning and she came and sat near by me later and i thought i'd just make conversation, so i said, 'sorry i saw Ewan push ++++ over, really sorry he doesnt usually do things like that to other kids' and she turned round and said 'well actually the playgroup has been having alot of problems with Ewan pushing +++++ and other kids around and we are thinking of moving ++++ to another playgroup' so i replied well i didnt know so how can i do anything about it.' and she walked off well i felt like complete shite and have been in tears on and off ever since.
I'm sure if it was that band the playgroup would have spoken to me, am in tears typing this!
So am going to write an email to the playgroup leader to see what is going on, the other mum had no right to make me feel this way.
I've always spoken to her but never reall got on, always had that feeling that i am 'below' her, she had a top of the range silver cross push chair for her first born and now has another posh double buggy.
Suppose its her problem really at the end of the day they are kids, not evern 3 years old, but its just these two who seem to wind each other up.
Luckily they will be in different year groups at school!

 

[xxleannexx]

im sure if he was causing that much of a problem to the other children you would have been told, sounds to me like she is just up her own arse lol! i wouldnt worry, just email the nursery and see if they think there is a problem and if there is find out why you werent told in the first place.

they are only children at the end of the day and if the other mother was been like that to you she is the immature one in my opinion

 

[welshcakes79]

kids will be kids, what she going to do wrap hers up in cotton wool till their 18..ive lost count the amount of times i was pushed over in primary school and no doubt did a few pushies myself!!!

silly old bag, ignore her hun,
but good idea to write to playgroup just to see, coz if they have had probs then they should have told you X

 

[smartie]

sorry to hear your upset. talking to the people that run the playgroup sounds like a good idea and then you can take things forward appropriatley. there may not be a problem at all with your son pushing others and this other mum may just be over protective of her child

 

[Jo]

Oh i'm so sorry you are upset hun, she sounds like she is right up her own arse!!!
For what it is worth i think she is talking a load of crap as the playgruop would have said something to you if they were finding Ewan to be a problem, they certaimly wouldn't tell other mums that!!!

 

[Caroline]

Sorry to hear this hun.

If there was such a problem then the nursery would have contacted you.

IF the were a problem and they didn't speak to you about it then they are in the wrong especially if they have been discussing it with other parents and not you.

 

[hypnorm]

Well i have just emailed this to the playgroup leader - can't phone at the moment as i will just end up in tears (bloody preg hormones!!)

"
Hi ++++,
Just wanted to say thank you for a lovely sports day today Ewan really enjoyed it and loved the stickers.

Unfortunatley I came home in tears very upset, half way through I saw Ewan push ++++++ over, I saw that his mum wasn’t too happy so I went and apologised later on in the morning and she was quite abrupt with me saying that it isn’t the first time it has happened and Ewan is always pushing Joshua and other kids over, and that they are thinking of taking Joshua out of playgroup because of Ewan. I know that you mentioned that they tend to wind each other up but I wasn’t aware that it had got to this stage of another child considering leaving because of Ewan.
So as you can imagine I was quite upset when I left. I said to Rachel that I wasn’t made aware there was still a problem or that Ewan was bullying other kids.
Please could you advise me of the situation, as I am obviously worried, but also consider that Ewan is not yet 3 and is still learning boundaries and what behaviour is acceptable and what isn’t, so I would expect there to be occasional situations between kids.
I am keen to help dissolve the situation so if there is anything I can do at home to help or even at playgroup then please let me know..."

I think this sounds ok I am quite willing to do anything to ease problems.
Spoke to hubby and he said thats her problem not ours and to speak to the playgroup and see whats going on, she is obviously going to be having serious problems when he goes to school! if she is like that now!

 

[Natalie&Karl]

That email is great. try not to worry, No one knows your little boy more than you, so if you thought there was a problem no doubt you would have dealt with it appropriately. x

 

[Wobbles]

Bloody hell kids will be kids!!

The Mum is out of order if the playgroup had any problems with your lil man I am sure they are professional about it & would have come to you not another parent!

Email is worded well! Hope they reply soon just to put you at ease

*Hugs* you don't need this so bring yourself above it all and don't allow others to cause you anymore upset x

 

[hypnorm]

Have had this response from the playgroup leader
"
Hi Selena,

Glad you enjoyed the sports day and Ewan did too.

++++++ did come to talk to me before she left. It is easier to talk about this than through e mail so we can ring later. I understand how upsetting this sort of thing is for all concerned. We are experiencing some conflict between them but it is not all coming in one direction and Ewan responds well to direction when we have to intervene in situations. Ewan has little understanding of personal space and we are working on this in group. He is young and is learning the boundaries etc as you rightly say. "

So this sounds like it isnt a big problem and i will ring the leader in a little while.

 

[hypnorm]

Just got off the phone to the playgroup leader, she was lovely and said that the mum had no right to say what she said, apparently it is not just Ewan it is the other lad who is doing things too, and you will occasionally get two kids who will wind each other up which is what is happening, She said that Ewan just doesnt always understand personal space and gets a bit close sometimes but he is still young and this is to be expected.
She said that if the mum removes her son then that is up to her and Ewan will be in no way responsible for that desicion and basically that the mum will get a shock as you cant wrap them up in cotton wool all the way through their school life.
Also next year they will only be at play group on one day together, so she thinks the mum is over reacting a bit.
Made me feel much better!

 

[Serene123]

Glad you feel better.

 

[hypnorm]

She also said that considering his size Ewan is very gentle, and responds very well to discipline and a reasoning which the other lad doesnt always do.
So its a big to her!!!

 

[Jo]

I'm so pleased the playgroup leader could put your mind at rest, the other mum will have a huge shock coming to her if this is how she reacts over something so trivial.

just so you know for future, Jack is usually a very sociable little guy and plays with loads of children, from tiny babies to some older than him, but him and one of my friends little girls can't stand the sight of each other and are always scrapping and Jack winds her up loads, just because he can, yet he doesn't do it with anyone else.
Well except me

 

[hypnorm]

Yet the lad in question Grabbed Ewans hand and they walked in to playgroup together so they obviously like each other, just the parents have a complex! if she says any thing next time i'll be a bit more prepared!!! and i think she will get a shock!
had to laugh - was looking at the pictures that i took today and on one of them you can see the lad has a throttle hold on Ewan who is sat down nicely!

 

[Jo]

oooh that would be a nice one to show the cotton wool mummy!!!

 

[cherylanne]

It sounds to me that you have a little man to be proud of.

My daughter is 3 and i have seen a couple of children be rough with her, but i'd never dream of sayng anything to the perents b/c that is what the staff are for, it should never get personal. Children need to learn what is acceptable and what isn't. At the moment we are trying to teach our daughter to stand up for herself as she is very laid back.
We can't watch there every move at nursery and their going to be in education along time, so that other mum is in for a big shock if she thinks moving her son will solve it all

 

[hypnorm]

Just found an email that the mum is inviting me to a body shop party.
Have written a response but dont know if it is worth it!
At the moment i have just penned
'Thank you for the invite, but i dont feel that i would be very welcome after leaving playgroup in tears today.'
or maybe i should just leave it.

 

[Vickie]

Glad you are feeling better about things since speaking with the playgroup leader.

 

[Caroline]

Really glad you got it sorted.
The playgroup leader sounds really good.

Alishas 1st pre-school was useless. The kids had no direction, and weren't guided as to what was acceptable behaviour & set boundaries.

We took her out in the end and her new pre-school is in another league.

I always think that play group is the foundation for teaching boundaries etc that is built on at school. Yes it needs to be taught @ home, as well , but they need it followed on at school. It sounds to me as if this little boy rules the roost @ home, so when he misbehaves/pushes boundaries @ school he can't deal with the way they deal with it.

Your little fella however obviously knows if he's pushed them a bit ar and is told that is what he's done, he accepts that & learns to modify what he does.

It a steep learning curve for them at this age and it sounds to me as if your little man is a credit to you & your OH and you really don't need to worry about his behaviour.