Just dont know what to do??(advices please)

[babe2ooo]

Hello there!!

This might be a long story but i kind of need to explaine so you get what i mean. I live with my OH and his son Callum who is 7, he lives with us fulltime as his mum passed away a few yrs ago now, I've been in callums life since he was about 5 so for about 2yrs now, i was only 18 when i got involved with my OH and it was alot for me to take on as i was never used to looking after a child, i've really had to learn and its hard when hes already at that age, now i'm like his mum so i do everything for him give him baths put him to bed like any other mum, there just a few little problems he has and i dont know what to do about them,

The 1st thing i wanted to ask is about toilet trouble now he should have toilet trainned from the age of 2 but the whole time i've known him hes never sort of got it, its like hes still a baby he wont just sit on the toilet and have a poo sorry tmi, he'll go once and then 2min later go again and again so hes up and down off the toilet all the time, i've told him he needs to sit there until he finishes but he doesnt listen, he alway has messes pants as well they are never clean and its getting really bad he hids them in his room and then his room starts to smell, i've spoken to him about this but it makes no difference, i mean come on he is 7 he shouldnt be doing this any more should he?? he never flushes the toilet to and the toilet is alway a mess after hes been in it.

Really what should i do?? I've spoken to OH about it but he thinks he will just grow out of it but i dont think he will, i try and talk to callum but he never listens but am i going to do keep buying him new pants all the time cause he cant keep them clean...i need help???

 

[Carolyn]

i haven't got any advice, i'm sorry, just didn't want to read and run. someone on here will have some advice x

 

[sam's mum]

Don't have much advice, but I've heard that making older children clean up any mess they make themselves does encourage them to think about it more when they actually need to go, and might make him realise that he should be staying on the toilet until he's finished. He's obviously aware of what he's doing if he's hiding his underwear in his room, but I'm not sure how you would discourage him from doing that - other than making him take it out and wash it (or put it in the washing machine - not actually wash it by hand!) when you find it?

 

[sam's mum]

He's not constipated is he? Sometimes kids know that they need to go, but when they sit on the toilet and try to it's painful and so they try to hold it in instead, and end up going in their pants.

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Question - what is he like at school? If he goes to the toilet at school normally then it may be an attention thing...

Maybe speak to a doctor...

 

[babe2ooo]

yeah the school never say anything....good point i have a word

 

[Wobbles]

I'd wonder how things were before his Mummy passed away with regards to how he took to potty & toilet training then compare to how he was after his Mummy had gone. Would Daddy know? I don't know your family or little mans Mummy etc but I would wnoder about anything connected - I'd talk to the school they may even be able to go back in records and see if anything is recorded from back then ...

Does this make sense

I'd think you should speak to your family doctor too x

 

[VanWest]

My step son was having issues with this a year and half ago the way I got him to stop was telling him if he didnt his butt would rott of from the stinky dirty stuff in his crack and he would have just a black hole of nothing! He asked my mom if this was true and she told him it was and never had an issue again.

 

[xXDonnaXx]

Ok, I have a brother who has the same problem, but my brother isn't 7, he's 13, nearly 14! He's soiled his pants since he was 4. He doesn't go to the toilet, never! He's been to ev'ry specialist you can name, but they can't seem to help. On many occasions they give him sticker charts.. and if you pursuade him to use the toilet, or do "Sit-ons" for 5minutes every few hours, and does something, he got a sticker. It worked for a few days, because he felt really good about hiself. But it wore off. So they then decided to stick the chart, and see if anything else would help. So we tried money, giving him some every time he used the toilet. Anyway, that didn't work either, so because he's holding it in, and then when he wants, does it in his pants, he's getting a blocked stomach. So they've had him on the strongest laxatives, just to make him go! But they just think it's lazyness, he doesn't have a problem, he just can't be bothered to go. My mum keeps telling him he needs to grow up and use the toilet, but as he says "I don't want to" He even does it in school, now he's in high school, I don't know how he's not embarrased about going to school. Anyway, I'll not carry on, but i just thought i'd tell you, he's not the only one that still soils. Have you tried sticker charts? Or giving him money every time he does a sit on...? (This is a thing my mum made up, hoping it'd make him go) Lol. Good luck hun, i know how you feel.

 

[maky72]

i would speak 2 the dr and get him checked out first then try sticker charts. there would b nothing more frustrating and disheartening than him trying 2 do something and being unable to do it for medical reasons. it could b just lasyness.
is he scared of going upstairs by himself? my some is 11 and i have 2 wait on bottom of stairs if he needs a poo if i didn't he would hold it until he was ill.