Just found out & scared

[slg76]

The OB isn't as scary as you probably think. You can request to see a woman if that makes you more comfortable. This is a common request even from older women so the receptionist won't find it weird.
We all make mistakes. I'm just sorry for you that yours has such a hard result to deal with. I think many young women could end up exactly in your position and are just luckier that they didn't end up pregnant. I admit that I could have ended up pregnant at 16. I should have been more careful than I was.
I'm sure this isn't news that your parents want to hear but do you think they will be supportive? I think most parents come around to the idea. I'm sure they want the best for you which means they need to support you.
You aren't ruining this boy's life. You both "did the deed" and you both need to handle the pregnancy. True, it's you who is more affected, that's just part of being a woman. He may help you or may not but you shouldn't feel guilty about the pregnancy being hard for him. Sounds like he will find out anyway since he is your brother's friend. Eventually he will put two and two together.
I wish I could help more. Do you have a trusted friend who can go to the Dr. with you?

 

[emilee1]

Just wondering why all of a sudden my posts need moderator approval before being posted...

Edit: So this post went through...hmm...are there key words or something the site recognizes and those posts need moderator approval first?

 

[slg76]

??? I've never had that happen.
Any other ladies under 18 that need approval before you post? Just wondering if it has anything to do with your age?

 

[emilee1]

None of my other posts needed moderated. I think it was because I used the "a" word? I don't know. I just said I don't think my parents would force me to get one, but when i think about it then I start to worry oh no will they?

 

[justhoping]

I will call after Thanksgiving to make an appointment somewhere. I've never even been to an OBGYN before.
I'm not ready to tell my family yet. I guess I will after I go to the doctor. I sort of feel like I won't even truly believe it until I have proof from the doctor, so I can't really bring myself to tell my parents.
The father and I aren't together. It's my brother's friend. This makes it even harder to tell my parents because it sounds even worse that I had sex with someone I wasn't even dating. I'm scared to tell him and ruin his life.

hun it takes two to tango, he is as much responsible for this as you and he needs to be apart of it....if he didnt want his life "ruined" he should have worn a condom but that is peas and carrots now...you both need to sit down and talk about what you want to do next along with making a app with a doctor...

 

[justhoping]

None of my other posts needed moderated. I think it was because I used the "a" word? I don't know. I just said I don't think my parents would force me to get one, but when i think about it then I start to worry oh no will they?

nobody can force you no matter what to get an A, its your life and body...
They can tell you how to feel but they cannot force you to do that...

this site doesnt condone the A word.

 

[emilee1]

I will call after Thanksgiving to make an appointment somewhere. I've never even been to an OBGYN before.
I'm not ready to tell my family yet. I guess I will after I go to the doctor. I sort of feel like I won't even truly believe it until I have proof from the doctor, so I can't really bring myself to tell my parents.
The father and I aren't together. It's my brother's friend. This makes it even harder to tell my parents because it sounds even worse that I had sex with someone I wasn't even dating. I'm scared to tell him and ruin his life.

hun it takes two to tango, he is as much responsible for this as you and he needs to be apart of it....if he didnt want his life "ruined" he should have worn a condom but that is peas and carrots now...you both need to sit down and talk about what you want to do next along with making a app with a doctor...

I know it's not all my fault, but I still feel like it is. I'm not stupid and I know how to use protection. I know he doesn't want to be tied to me like that forever. At first I thought I would just say it was someone else's. There is nobody else's that it could be and I would definitely never put blame on someone else. I figured I'd just have to say I didn't know the person, but that makes me sound even worse.

 

[justhoping]

I will call after Thanksgiving to make an appointment somewhere. I've never even been to an OBGYN before.
I'm not ready to tell my family yet. I guess I will after I go to the doctor. I sort of feel like I won't even truly believe it until I have proof from the doctor, so I can't really bring myself to tell my parents.
The father and I aren't together. It's my brother's friend. This makes it even harder to tell my parents because it sounds even worse that I had sex with someone I wasn't even dating. I'm scared to tell him and ruin his life.

hun it takes two to tango, he is as much responsible for this as you and he needs to be apart of it....if he didnt want his life "ruined" he should have worn a condom but that is peas and carrots now...you both need to sit down and talk about what you want to do next along with making a app with a doctor...

I know it's not all my fault, but I still feel like it is. I'm not stupid and I know how to use protection. I know he doesn't want to be tied to me like that forever. At first I thought I would just say it was someone else's. There is nobody else's that it could be and I would definitely never put blame on someone else. I figured I'd just have to say I didn't know the person, but that makes me sound even worse.

that is not fair to you or the baby..u have the right to have him as much responsibility as you do, he has the right to know and the baby has the right to have his dad in its life and know who it is for sure....

so the only right answer is to tell him...and go from there, you dont have to be tied to someone to have a baby, you just have to be tied to the baby.

 

[slg76]

This is not only your fault! You do not need to feel bad for this guy! It's not only your fault that you got pregnant. You know how to use protection but so does he!! Making up a lie can only make things worse. You have some tough decisions to make but nobody is going to expect you to be in a relationship with this guy. The fact is you will always be tied to this guy by this baby but that could play out in so many different ways. You will make this work!!!

I don't think that your parents can force you to terminate. I can understand though that if you and your parents disagree about what to do it will make the situation harder for you. I'm sure if you call planned parenthood they could tell you what your rights are.

I hope that if you approach your parent calmly and accepting responsibility for your mistake that they will support you. Of course you will probably have to give them some time to be upset and angry first

 

[skyesmom]

hon, i know you are shocked but he has the right to know, it is also his baby, and his responsibility too. you are not ruining his life, the life of u both is equally affected and like it or not, you are already bound to him for forever. children do this, create these undeniable bonds, no matter if he sticks around or not.
and you never know how he'll react unless u tell him the truth. u may as well be surprised.
but please for now call the ob/gyn and start handling one thing at a time, as thinking of all of it at once can only overwhelm u and do u no good whatsoever!

keeping my fingers crossed for u that it all goes fine, the ob/gyn, telling parents and telling the FOB!

 

[MummyMana]

Hey, your parents can't force you to do anything like that! Stand your ground and make it clear to them that this is your baby!

 

[xforuiholdonx]

I think it's wrong to lie to a father about his child... Whether he's happy about it or not, whether he sticks around for it or not, it's still HIS child as much as it is yours. What If the tables were turned and someone did that to you? (Ok I know it's not possible but I'm putting it in a different perspective) don't lie to your parents, or your brother, or his friend. What's happened has happened, and it needs to be addresses ATLEAST with this child's father immediately.

 

[_jellybean_]

Please go to the store and buy some prenatal vitamins. They're important to take. Also, I know you're scared, but everything really will be okay. How is your relationship with your parents? Please tell them. You need support.

 

[emilee1]

I do not really think my parents would force me into anything like that. I guess I just start to worry about ridiculous things because I basically think about this every second. I can't focus on anything else and it's driving me crazy.

I know you are all right and it isn't right to not tell the father. I'm just scared of his reaction and probably don't want to be let down if he decides he wants nothing to do with it.

I am going to find a doctor to call tomorrow since today is a holiday.
Maybe I'll try to tell him before I go to the doctor. I feel like I should probably tell him before I tell anyone else. I'm starting to feel guilty. At first I thought it'd be better to not tell him at all, but now I feel like the longer I keep it from him the worse it is.

 

[skyesmom]

it's normal to always think about being pregnant when you're pregnant, no matter the age and the situation, it just gets you as it IS always there!

but once you start facing it, tell the FOB, go to the doctor and tell ur parents, all this additional chaos u have in your head now about how to let them know will disappear, and you will be able to talk about it and develop a support system so you won't feel this alone and it won't be this overwhelming and scary.

it might take some time for all of them to come around but they will.

 

[Srrme]

I do not really think my parents would force me into anything like that. I guess I just start to worry about ridiculous things because I basically think about this every second. I can't focus on anything else and it's driving me crazy.

I know you are all right and it isn't right to not tell the father. I'm just scared of his reaction and probably don't want to be let down if he decides he wants nothing to do with it.

I am going to find a doctor to call tomorrow since today is a holiday.
Maybe I'll try to tell him before I go to the doctor. I feel like I should probably tell him before I tell anyone else. I'm starting to feel guilty. At first I thought it'd be better to not tell him at all, but now I feel like the longer I keep it from him the worse it is.

Your parents might throw out other options, but they can't force you to do anything you don't want to do, and like you said, they probably wouldn't even consider doing that anyway!

You should tell the father as soon as possible, I think. He might react badly, or he might not! You won't know until you tell him. If he does react badly, he might come around later on. If it's scary to you, it will probably be scary to him too. It's a huge life change and will take some getting used to.