just have to tell someone. long :(

[Expecting1]

Background; Hubs and I met 20-10-09 and were living together in my parents duplex by the 28th. We bought a house april 2012 and my brother moved into the duplex. August 2012 he met his girlfriend "A" and she's moved into the duplex with him.
I understand that my dad sees A a hell of a lot more than he sees me but he's flavoring her way too much!
I have a 4x4 and so does A.... apparently my 4x4 is shit and A's is the best thing since sliced bread!!! Mines 10 years younger than hers with NO dints or scratches and it has no mechanical problems.... who's is better huh???
Dad defends A with everything- last night she laughed in my face that I have a folder with my baby shower plans and games in it..... she laughed in my face!!!!! She also said "god games? Really? I wish I had a penis so I didn't have to go"..... If she didn't want to go why did she rsvp? I cried myself to sleep last night because she laughed in my face... I'm crying now as I type this.. I hate it when people are mean and she made me feel like a complete idiot
I tried to tell my dad this morning and he fucking defended her I told my mum about it and I cried and got cuddles and mum cried too
There was an incident today with our dog getting into a fight, shes a runt and can't learn but we love her and hubs had to grab her by the skin (because dad took their collars off after I said not to) and he kicked her in the bum. Now A went off at my hubby about "that's not how you socialize her" and he said "she's my fucking dog and zeus (other dog involved) shouldn't have been here!" She proceeded to storm off and have a cry.
My brother told my dad she was crying and dad attacked me saying I have to fix it!!!! Not my fucking problem!!!!
She proceeded to ignore me and give me filthy looks all afternoon. I didn't have anything to do with the incident why am I getting scalded?

Every time I've tried to talk about it, I get attacked by dad and he defends A like she's his daughter!
I'm still crying but it feels better to have written it out.
Thanks for reading

 

[elle86]

Don't cry! Sound like she is a bit nasty by Nature. No one has the right to make you feel that way- secondly I would call my dad on his behaviour and why he is so clearly defending her over his own daughter. That crap wouldnt fly with me!

 

[Expecting1]

I tried to bring it up with him and I ended up having to walk away to cry. Mums going to have a talk to him later. .. bless her

 

[Whatme]

Thank goodness for mums eh.. Mines a saint too, some times I'm glad I'm an only child. Sorry your going though this at such an hormonal time, xxxx

 

[girlinyork]

Really glad your mother is mediating. I'd bet dollars to donuts too that her nasty baby shower comment was down to jealousy

 

[Expecting1]

I'd thought it was, girlinyork, until I found out she was a major bitch to her own sister when she had her shower! She's acted so interested in it all yet she hates baby showers apparently!

She has no filter between her brain and big mouth, I've transitioned from sadness to being mad at the bitch. I cried so much and it's upset hubs too much so I'm going to try to be strong

 

[katnkayla]

I'm not being nasty but seriously?? This whole thing sounds so petty and childish my 4x4s better than yours come on!!! Even if it is its not a competition. I do agree she sounds bang out of order but the more u react the more she's gonna do it. As for the shower that's uncalled for and I agree but I think you should actually tell her well if you don't think it's for you don't come no skin off my nose your placing way to importance on the thoughts of someone who's opinion I really would not give a fig about, as for your dad I can kind of see his point of view maybe he thinks its all a bit schoolyard too. Either way don't cry sit down with him like a grown up and explain your thoughts and let him know it upsets you that he appears to be constantly defending her but as I say let her get on some people thrive on making others unhappy and causing drama so don't let her. You have your hubs a baby on the way a mischievous but I'm sure your darling pooch every reason to be more than content with your life seriously don't drop t her level x

 

[GiGi2013]

I'd hand that "nasty so and so" a dildo and say "now you have a penis, don't come to my shower". NO ONE deserves to be treated like that and exposed to her negativity at your shower.

Don't cry, show her how little you think of her comments by not crying...if you need a good cry go take a shower in private...don't give her that satisfaction of seeing you hurt by her ugliness.

God Bless and good luck!!

p.s. sounds like jealousy to me also...

 

[Expecting1]

I typed a whole thing but deleted it. I just have two points-
It's about being proud of what I have and not getting the credit I deserve for looking after my car.
And I sat down with him like an adult and that's when he defended her.
I'm obviously emotional at this stage I don't need people putting me down ESPECIALLY family!

 

[Pielette]

GiGi that dildo comment cracked me up!

To be honest I think you need to grow a bit of a thicker skin and bite back Tell her not to come to your shower if she thinks its stupid. Tell her to mind her own business about the dog.

If your dad is going to defend her over stupid stuff, let him and ignore it. You've got your mum's support quite clearly

You've said it yourself, she's got a nasty side. It's not personal to you, she just sounds like a bit of a bitch! So don't let her walk all over you.

 

[Expecting1]

I hate confrontation and if I "bite back" then I'll have dad and brother against me. She made her comments and I walked away I wouldn't say she walked all over me. Now I feel like an idiot again for admitting I cried because now I'm a doormat.

 

[girlinyork]

You're pregnant. You're allowed to cry. I cried over an episode of the Simpsons just recently. Don't beat yourself up

 

[HHenderson]

Wow this pissed me off. I want to slap that bi*^$ and I dont even know her. Im at the point in my life where my family is perfect and stable and I dont need drama anymore. If my dad did that and my brother would start his shit because his girlfriend wouldnt shut her damn trap Id tell them to F off. They will eventually get over it. I wonder if her being a bi*&^ made her own dad not talk with her that is why shes trying to make your dad favor her. Id also tell her not to bother coming to the shower. I think your poor mom shouldnt have to deal with the situation, your husband should. If I mentioned to my husband whats going on and told him I want him to deal with it he would. Sorry you have to go through this. If shes just a girlfriend maybe she wont stick around long because people will eventually see how horrible she is.

 

[Expecting1]

I've told hubs he's not allowed to say anything to her because of the one and only reason of if my own family will gang up against me for her, I can't imagine what would be said to him and that would break my heart.
Yeah she calls my parents mumma and pappa bear..... um I think that's a bit much considering I've heard what she's said about my dad behind his back. If I was petty I'd go tell him what she thinks lol.
I just wish for once from either side of the family that there could be 0 drama! The MIL still isn't listening but at least she's not yelling and screaming lol.

 

[HHenderson]

Yikes theres nothing someone can say to make my husband feel bad. Hes good at running his mouth with facts when someone is trying to talk shit to him if need be. Shuts people up quick. Especially the jealous jerks at work. Thats where my drama lies. Men's work and men at work are so dramatic beyond girls. Lol

 

[Expecting1]

Hubs has had a few pretty good debates with my dad and brother lol but after it's over my dad has made comments behind his back saying he's annoying and such, at that point I have said "don't put my husband down just because you were wrong!" But it is mainly I would be upset for hubby because he's trying to protect me or whatever and ends up getting insulted..... no one needs that.
I am a very firm believer of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!!!!!" I have trouble hearing other people being put down let alone my own husband I'll be a mess if Tanner's ever bullied lol.

 

[mac1979]

Honestly, I would just try to let it go and not think about it that much, at least your mom is trying to mediate. However, kicking a dog is never acceptable, there are much better ways to discipline/train when there is misbehaving I probably would have gone off too if I had seen that.

 

[LoveSanrio]

Yep! Time to put your big girl pants on, and let this bitch have it! I would tell her not to come to my shower, she isn't welcome there. Why let her come and more than likely ruin it? When she tries to get pissy about you un inviting her, tell her "you're a bitch and I don't want you there." I'm sure she would be shocked. Never EVER let her talk down to you, or get up in your face. Separate yourself from her as much as possible.
If it were me, I would let my dad have it too. If he wants to side with her over his PREGNANT daughter, let him know that he has made it very obvious where his loyalty to family stands, and he can refrain from contacting you until he pulls his head out of his ass.

 

[LoveSanrio]

Just read more comments here. Okay... I think you need to put some serious distance between your dad, brother, and the bitch. I wouldn't talk to any of them until they can knock their shit off.

 

[katnkayla]

I typed a whole thing but deleted it. I just have two points-
It's about being proud of what I have and not getting the credit I deserve for looking after my car.
And I sat down with him like an adult and that's when he defended her.
I'm obviously emotional at this stage I don't need people putting me down ESPECIALLY family!

No I know what I ment was as long as you are proud and happy which you should be don't worry about others just my opinion im not Saying its right but i find the less you care about others opinions the happier life is and yes i would want my family to be proud of me but i would question them not myself if they were not as i said on the end of pp you SHOULD be proud of you and I totally agree at you being emotional dont get me wrong i have been what I ment was to be taken seriously and not fobbed off or seen as irrational emotional hormonal simply because you are pregnant x