Just my feelings. Sorry x

[lovemybubba]

I don't even know how to put everything into words anymore. All I know is I have this feeling inside of me. A longing. That's the only way I can describe it. I feel empty, and lost. Where my tummy was once starting to feel firm and round, it's now soft and watery. I hate it, it's like a constant reminder of what I've lost.
People ask me how I'm doing and all I can say is "better"
I guess I have been better, most of the time I can get up and go, get on with things. Then comes night time, when everyone else is sleeping, I struggle to sleep and just lay there feeling so empty and lonely.
It's such a horrible feeling, to feel alone when you're not even alone. When your partner is sleeping right next to you.
I just want my baby back. To hold my stomach and whisper all the things that I want to tell my child.
To say "please stay with me, please know I love you and can't wait to meet you, please carry on growing and I promise I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe"

I look at my little boy and I feel so sorry for him. He needs a sibling, someone he can play with and share secrets with.
Then I look at my partner and am amazed at how brilliant he is with my son, how desperate he is for a child of his own. How it breaks my heart that I couldn't give him that.
And yet he tells me that myself and my son is enough for him forever if needs be.

I'm scared this will happen again, I don't think I could handle it happening again at 12 weeks.
I can't wait to fall pregnant again, to spend every second of my pregnancy worrying and hoping that I'll be able to hold my beautiful child at the end of it. To take him or her home, and just be together. Us four, like it should be by Christmas, but which it won't be 😞

 

[Blu10]

Im sorry this happened to you. Ive had 2 miscarriages - an early one before DS then a mmc before this pregnancy. Pregnancy after a loss is really scary but you have to think positive and you have just as good a chance of carrying a baby to term next time. Genetics are so clever I try to think about the losses as my body saying something isnt right here because having a baby is a wonderful yet conplex thing. It will happen for you soon, keep your chin up x

 

[Inge]

I know how you feel. Huge hugs to you xx
I had my first mc in january at 12wks then had one at 5 wks in May and then got pregnant straight away and am just going through a mc now and I was around 4 wks this time. Im making myself wait for 6-12months so that I can lose weight and get a dermoid ovarian cyst removed before trying again. I agree with Blu10, I think of miscarraiges as your bodys way of saying something isnt right with the pregnancy and its better it ends early x

 

[lilmisscaviar]

First off, let me tell you that I'm so sorry for your loss You truly have my condolences, as I've been there and done that myself. I just lost my fifth baby which makes my third pregnancy loss and it still hasn't really hit me that it happened. You get on this emotional high once you get those two pretty lines on the pregnancy test, then you're told the news of your miscarriage and it feels like the rug is jerked out from under you. Our bodies are truly special and know when something is not right with the little baby growing inside of us. It is very rare for recurrent pregnancy losses so if you do decide you still want to give your son a sibling it most likely will not end in loss, but do give your body some time to heal physically and emotionally before taking that plunge. I truly wish you the best, whatever your decision may be