Just need to get it out

[saysib]

Our background is that we have an almost 5 year old daughter who was concieved 1st try. I love her to bits and feel so blessed to have her.
We started TTC just after her 2nd birthday and after 2 losses finally fell PG again in May this year. I am beyond thrilled to be pregnant, baby appears to be perfect and until yesterday I felt like I'd finally let go of my anxiety and stress and was able to bond with the baby.
Yesterday we had our 20 week scan and we discovered we are having a little boy. I always wanted one of each but as time went on in our TTC journey I thought it would be so much better for my daughter to have a sister because of the large age gap and I had my heart set on a 2nd daughter. My eldest was so excited about a baby that she doesnt seem to be bothered that its a brother so I dont know why its hit me so hard. I feel almost winded and really quite sad. I know I'll love my son, he has a name already and I do feel incredibly lucky to be getting what for many years was my dream family.
Will they be ok? I worry that with them having a 5 year gap and being different sex that they'll never have anything in common or really play together and that just breaks my heart. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Sorry if I sound silly.

 

[MrsP2be]

It is so,so hard trying to sort things out in your head. I found out I was having a boy in august and was devastated. Up until the weekend , I was really starting to feel positive. On Saturday , out of nowhere , I was in a real mess again.

You don't sound silly at all x.

Sending you a hug x

 

[Mummy2B21]

Totally not the case huni I am 23 and my brother is 28 and we had so much fun growing up i cant describe i loved it so much i learnt a lot from my brother i used to always copy him play imaginary games the 5 year gap really didnt matter at all, I went out on my bike with him, we'd play in street with all the same friends various ages i loved having an older brother and im pretty sure he loved it too.
We also have a 20 yer pld brother and they both used to gang up together and tease me play fight together tht had there own bond too and thats a 8 year gap i wont lie me and my 3year gap brother were closer but i honestly had so much fun with both dont worry about it hun they will have a fantastic bond siblings always find things to do me and my brothers made up loads of pretend games and we all played together i used to be peggy mitchel and they were phill and grant we all lived that game we made up we would play in our rooms making tents in our beds i wouldnt change my siblings age gaps at all.

 

[jenniferttc1]

Growing up I was not close to my brother, with a 4 year age gap. Now as adults though we are very close. Honestly I think with that big of an age gap, no matter what sex the new baby is, in time there very well could be a time that your eldest is not so close to the youngest. Its nothing to do with sex, its more of coming of age and being older.
Congrats to your baby boy! They are truely wonderful and you will love experiencing both sexes. I think everything will turn out just fine!

 

[ILoveYouZandT]

I honestly think it will be a non-issue! They'll play together eventually, don't you worry! I don't know about other siblings... But my boys don't play much together, they do play together, but really not much! AND THEY'RE BOTH BOYS! They're into the same things and have stuff in common... But our eldest is nearly 5 and our little guy is 2. I think as our little one gets older and develops his speech things will definitely change!

I have a friend who when I met her was pregnant with her second, she had a 4 year old boy at the time. And was pregnant with a little girl. She would constantly rave about how much she loved their age gap (I believe he was 5 by the time she was born). I think when they're older like that they have the chance to have more of a memory and interest in the pregnancy, in the baby, they're able to understand more. My first son was 2 1/2 when our 2nd son was born, he had no flippin' idea what was going on lol! He loved his "new baby", but at the same time he could care less lol! This time he will be over 5 and he is so interested in the pregnancy. He is so excited about what he presumes is his "baby sister girl baby" (eeek, I'm 12 weeks!!), and again, our little one will be a few months shy of 3 and he's in lala land! He has NO idea there is a baby coming, he IS the baby.

I think the age gap is great, and I think the gender difference will be a non-issue for your daughter. I truly do!!

 

[BeccaxBump]

Yeah, I agree, you'll find any siblings will bond and love each other. She's very lucky to have a sibling and she'll understand that. Maybe she'll try and dress him up and things like that! .
Good luck with your gorgeous little man!
xoxox

 

[saysib]

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a bit better about it now! Just wish I could put the parents on mute

We went and bought some cute boy clothes over the weekend with DD and she seems super excited